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I am Nicholas Cage

So apparently I've been told I look like Nicholas Cage. I really don't know why. We look nothing alike. Here's an example:


Hmmm, ya, I really don't see the resemblance at all. Plus, the more I look at the pic of Nicholas Cage, the more I think this is more of an insult than a compliment.

But how in the hell can anyone say I look like this actor? Well, someone said from far away I do, so let's try that:


Hmmm, I can somewhat see it there. But let me try one more thing:

Hmm, even if they were to go back far enough, Mr. Bean and Nicholas Cage would look similar as well. So I've come to this conclusion:

I do not look like Nicholas Cage. If I did, I could be a big time actor. I mean, hell, he's been in a shit load of movies, and if I LOOK like him, I would have no problem right? Only thing is, I think my acting skills are a little better than his.  I wouldn't use the same voice all the time even if the characters were completely different.

Nope, instead I'm stuck here in this shitty little town with next to no money to my name. So will people stop calling me Nicholas Cage. I don't want to be him....

ok, I kinda do, I mean, who doesn't want to be the one who acted all psycho in FACE OFF! Or how about the boring convict from CON AIR? Nope, if there's anyone I really want to look like, it would be Steve Buschemi.

Why? Because Steve Buschemi is a god, and nobody messes with a god.