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4thHorseman

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The Good Ole Days

   

So recently I've been thinking about the nineties, and how much I miss them. I mean, children nowadays are stuck with too much crap on tv and toys and whatnot, they have no idea how awesome it was to grow up in the 90's. So I started to reminice about tyhe childhood days, and I thought I would bring up my favorite cartoons from the 90's that I loved.

1. Ren and Stimpy

God, what a fantastic show this was. Stimpy being a fat cat and Ren a Chiwawa (ya, it's misspelled, fuck you) who is rude and obnoxious but very tenderhearted. Plus their gay. Seriously, how can they not be? Plus the characters like  Powdered Toast Man and the drill sergant who ALWAYS YELLED EVEN WHEN IT WAS NOTHING ALL THAT IMPORTANT! And is there anyone who doesn't remember "LOG" and the words to it? Shit, I still sing it from time to time. And when you go back and watch it, you realize how over the top and somewhat sick and mature the show actually is. Seriously, go back and watch a few episodes. They are NOT for children. But you grow up watching it, you learn to love them (no matter how sick some of it ends up being), and it became one of my favorite shows of all time.

 

2. XMEN

And the dork in me comes out again. Xmen, if you didn't watch this, it was because you're either an idiot or blind. EVERYONE loves this show. Action, love, death, robots with electrifying wires coming out of hands, somewhat bad animation, but goddamn it, greatness it was. And fuck the Xmen Evolution shit that came out after wards towards the late 90's/early 00's. XMEN was THE show to watch, along with the others I'm talking about in this blog.Some of the greatest villains ever were on there like Magneto and Omega Red, and the Phoenix how it was supposed to be, not the joke it ended up being in X3. Yes. These were the days where Xmen had it's glory...

 

3. Spiderman

The other comic show you had to see or otherwise rot in a sewer somewhere. Spiderman in the 90's animated cartoon was fun. It actually looked somewhat decent, they tried to throw in some computer effects from time to time, and unlike the show MTV had after the movie came out, it actually didn't make you want to stab out your eyes. This is where Spiderman became a big thing, this cartoon. Not the comics, not the movies, but this show right here catapulted Spiderman into the greatness he is today. This is where villains like the Green Goblin and Venom/Carnage became so popular that people want to see them in movies now. This show caused all of that. You know why? Because it was fucking greatness all the way, and if you deny it, you probably didn't have much of a childhood.

 

4. Rocko's Modern Life

Then the show that wasn't too much different from Ren and Stimpy. Somewhat the same humor, but characters that were more involved in the show than the ones on RAS were. Rocko, Spunky, Philbert, REALLY REALLY Bigman, Heffer, the list goes on and on. I mean, this show was just really enjoyable. I still remember the episode where they go to the fair, and there's that toad on the "test your strength" with the cigar in his mouth urging Rocko on to knock him onto the lilypad and it was pissing Rocko off. Rocko failed, almost died on the rollercoaster to Hell, and succeeded in knocking him off and totally made his day. This is the kind of cartoon Rocko was, it just stuck with you. You love them, and I know I'm goign to own these dvd's when it comes out, because I will still enjoy them.

 

5. Mighty Morphin Power Rangers

I'm talking the first couple seasons here, not where they end up going into space, turning into cops and indians , or whatever the fuck they screwed them up with afterwards. Or the sadly poor version of the Power Rangers like "Beetleborgs" and "VR Troopers" or whatever.  I'm talking the FUCKING Power Rangers. Villain was Rita Repulsa with her few goons like the blue monkey and the guy who carved villains from clay. Then came Lord Zed, possibly the most badass looking villain ever. And who can't remember the names of the power rangers? Jason - red, Kimberly - pink (and the one every boy wanted to be with), Trini - yellow (asian gets yellow...hmmm), Zach - black (who woulda thunk, the black guy gets the black color), and the one nobody liked Billy - Blue. Until...Tommy....the Green Ranger...then later white, red, and I believe something else. Of course, it was the same thing every show. Rita creates monster, sends the Silly Putties down, they get their asses whooped, sends big monster. Big monster beats up on Rangers for a while, start to fight back. Monster grows, Rangers call Zords, beat villain. Villain always blowed up, and I wondered how the city took that when the villains always exploded like an a-bomb in the middle of the city after the rangers beat them. See, you get really into this series. I could go on and on, but i won't.

6. Bobby's World

Bobby's World, the show where Howie Mandel (with the awesome hair, not the baldness he is now) could turn into a cartoon father and walk around with his son Bobby who somewhat resembled a pig and sounded like one since he talked through his nose half the time. The more I think about the show, the more I think that Bobby was on shrooms of some sort.I have never met a kid with an imagination like Bobby did, where a trip to the refrigerator could turn into a space trip where some mummified plant monster the size of a planet comes out and tries to eat you. I'm not entirely sure if that happened in the series, but stuff like that was pretty common. I'm telling you, the kid was on shrooms and this show hinted that every episode. Don't believe me...go back and see...

7. Tiny Toon Adventures

Yet another show I could probably name a good 80% of the characters. Basically, Tiny Toons were the children (okay, not technically) of the famous Looney Toons characters (who were teachers in the show) at Acme Acres, their school. They had characters like Babs and Buster Bunny, Montana Max has Money, and Elmira who's a pain (the song in the show if you figured it out). They had Plucky duck who's best scenes were when he was a toddler and liked to press buttons, and that creepy lil Dodo bird (I believe his name was dodo actually) who went between dimensions or whatever. It actually was a fun show and I'm sad it isn't on anymore. Instead, they replaced it with Baby Looney Tunes or whatever...which will never be on my favorite anything list.

8. Life With Louie

Life with Louie, the show every fat boy enjoys watching because it reminds them of themself. Just wanting to enjoy childhood and not do anything no matter how much it's pushed on to them. I was one of those fat kids who tried to get friends but couldn't because...well...I was fat, and nobody wants fat friends. But Louie Anderson put this show together somewhat based on his life, and it was great to watch, it was even better to listen to. he would always stretch out the words when he was groaning about something, and he was constantly doing something. Like when he had the goldfish and he was always feeding it and soon it outgrew the bowl and he had to keep it in the bathtub....well, my fish always died in like 2 days, but this is what I wanted to happen. Good ole Louie Anderson. Wonder what happened to him after Family Feud kicked him off for being fat. Cause thats what happens when your fat, nobody wants you. *sits alone at home*

9.  The Tick

Yeah yeah, another Superhero thing I know. Don't worry, there's one more left. Anyways, I recently bought the Tick dvd of Season 1 and although it's not as good as I remember, it's still somewhat entertaining. Plus, there's lines in there that we may not have gotten back then, but would now. Like when Arthur was having dinner with his sister and the Tick and his sister says "Wow, this salad is good". And Arthur said "Ya, Tick tosses the salad". I sat there in my room just staring the screen as Tick went into his ramblings about tossing the salad and I was just like...there's no way in hell this should have gotten by me the first time....but it did, because children dont' know what tossing the salad means. There's so many things in this show that can be construed as wrong in one way or another. And nothing beats the Tick going off one one of his little dialogue tangents...nothing....

 

10. Batman

Hands down, THE BEST CARTOON OF THE 90's. It's the one that was absolutely perfect. Yes, it's another superhero one, but fuck you, this was easily the greatest cartoon to come from the nineties. It portrayed Batman and the villains almost perfectly from the comics, and the storylines were intriguing and can still pass the test of time. It made several seasons, and had many others try to get the same success like Superman and Justice League, only because this one turned out so good. Sadly, they failed. They even tried to make a "sequal" with Batman Beyond, whichwas good, but not quite as good. Everything about this show was perfect from the voices used for the characters and how well it fit them, to the stories, to just the animation. Everything about this show was teh best. No other cartoon could stand up to this one, and if you go back through the several seasons it had, you will understand that.

 

Now, I'm in no way trying to hide many other shows that the 90's had. There were many many many. How can you forget what Nickolodeon had like Rugrats, Doug, Salute Your Shorts, Hey Dude, Clarissa Explains it All, The Secret World of Alex Mack, hell, fucking Animorphs. Sure, not all cartoons, but still fun shows as a kid. Other shows like the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Ducktales, Chip N Dale Rescue Rangers, Goosebumps, Animaniacs, Histeria.

It's quite a pity now what kids have to grow up to. Where will Ed Edd and Eddy fall on this list? Probably nowhere. Powderpuff Girls? Fuck em. Super Robot Monkey Team......creators will die. Totally Spies...*sighs*. Seriously, our children are growing up in a bleak media environment and their going to end up wishing they were dead while we bask in the glory that were Saturday morning (or weekday afternoon) shows. Seriously, do they even have weekday afternoon shows anymore or are they gone now in place of Judge Judy and Maury. Fuck, no wonder kids nowadays are so emo.

   

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