Apocalyptic Toolkit

You know what? I don't care if it's zombies, the bomb, aliens, robots, foreigners, domestics, whatever.  If people get feral on me, I'll be sure to let them know that there was once a vast, complicated, imperfect civilization, and that I saw it all.  I'd tell them I come from a time when people would ignore each other on fuel-driven transports and listen to electronic collections of recordings of musicians and people rambling into magnetic sticks that encoded speech so it could be played back.  I'd say I came from a time of vast wealth, and vast poverty, where food was being thrown away in some places and fought over in others, where medical science was extending lives or keeping people barely alive.  And though they might try to destroy me (are they jealous of my experiences from this fallen utopia? Do they blame me for what has happened?), I will not falter.  I am a herald of the age that passed; I must not fall. 

List items

  • Never pull the pin out with your teeth, unless you weren't fond of your teeth in the first place.

  • Water, of course. Alcohol dehydrates.

  • Just a plain old hunting rifle. Something easy to maintain, with ammunition that could get the job done but not disintegrate stuff. No need to get all fancy. Despite the temptation, I won't get a crossbow, though.

  • I succumbed to temptation. I guess it'll be good for hunting, while not advertising where I am. Note: this is not the exercise machine.

  • Nothing maintains sanity better than looking at symbols on a page and hearing voices in your head.

  • Mine would be a journal, not a diary. It's good to get a bit of perspective on times gone by. You know, for posterity.

  • Helps make journals more than something you club someone over the head with.

  • Dude, now I have an excuse to eat this stuff ALL THE TIME!

  • As much as I think I'm good at navigating, I'd like to cut down on the time it takes to get places. Hopefully my maps will be a bit more recent than this one.

  • Always useful... unless the disaster actually messed up the magnetic poles. That can be corrected for, I guess...

  • For seein' stuff that ain't in seein' distance.

  • I see you've played knifey-spoony before.

  • My extensive experience with RPGs tells me this will come in handy somehow.

  • Man, you have no idea. It's like, in a story I read somewhere. You like, die if you don't have one. Cans, you know. Treasure inside.

  • If anyone's maintaining a radio station, they're probably going to be a beacon of hope, or a target. If the former, then I can find them. If the latter, then I can get AS FAR AWAY AS POSSIBLE.

  • You have to be fucking kidding me. There aren't just normal batteries here? Whatever, I'll take what I can get. Copper is the new gold.

  • Matches. I need some steenkin' matches.

  • Rain or shine

  • At least until the network conks out

  • Apparently for some people, cleats is a more inclusive term than boots. They are idiots.

  • At least we got the generic term here. No antibiotics, though. What kind of general store IS this? I'm out of here.

  • Personal history has reminded me that I'm not a big fan of crapping in the woods.

7 Comments

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DanielJW

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Edited By DanielJW

Haha. Nice list.

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ahoodedfigure

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Edited By ahoodedfigure
@DanielJW: Thanks :)  I like that in the "Similar Lists" column, it's blank :)
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najaf

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Edited By najaf

great list, no matches though?

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RagingLion

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Edited By RagingLion

Nice inventive list - again, the kind of thing there should be more of.  Like your introduction and your humorous descriptions - I've never thought of a book in that way before.

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FrenchFriedFool

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Edited By FrenchFriedFool

My life has suddenly improved, thanks to this list.

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Winterblink

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Edited By Winterblink

LOL, this is an awesome list :)

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maimran91

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Edited By maimran91

Good choice