AngriGhandi

Boooooo

The Brutus armor should constantly drain your health every second you wear it, because it's covered in like three or four layers of capes, and shirts, and fur, and you're jumping across the rooftops of Rome in the middle of the goddamn summer.

WARNING: Ezio did not wear three fur coats at once.

DESYNCHRONIZED: HEAT STROKE, FASHION POLICE

 @Phog_of_War: 
I think what you really need to do with this question is remake it as a poll, where the choices are: 
A. Yes, and I do smoke weed 
B. Yes, and I don't smoke weed
C. No, I disagree with your opinion
D. Fuck you Tommy Chong 

Too long; didn't read
 
Edit: Kidding

(So, I wrote a comment on a news story today that ended up being long enough that I figured I might as well add a sentence or two for an intro and slap the thing into a bloggy blog. For posterity! And also for the quest I guess.)

Dead Space 2 announced its first forthcoming bit of DLC today - on the very day the game itself was released. An increasingly common move that has a tendency to feel, well, pretty gross, but one that I actually feel pretty good about in this case. I guess that has to do with the type of DLC it is, a free-standing story starring a different main character that takes place outside of the main story of the game.

(Now, you could make the argument that this is the kind of thing that games like Resident Evil 2 used to include in the retail game as bonuses to reward you for finishing them. And the kind of thing Valve offers its customers for free as a value-add. And well okay you might have a point. But that's a whole other... yeah. That's a whole other thing.)

As far as paid DLC goes, this is the kind of idea I can really get behind-- the kind of experience that stands on its own, tells its own story, and doesn't make you feel like you're having an incomplete experience without it-- a problem that even games with good DLC - like Fallout 3 - can suffer from. I hate being in the weird position of having to break immersion to speculate about design-- to try to decide whether an optional gun is going to break the difficulty balance, or where in the game's story arc a DLC side-mission will actually fit properly, or whether it's going to break the flow, and do I have to start it before I finish the game, and is any of this even supposed to be canon, and oh god whatever.

I like this type of DLC because I feel like I'm buying something that has its own discrete value. Its own beginning, middle, and end. It adds to the game it's attached to, but without competing for your attention or getting in the way. So yeah. Undead Nightmare, Minerva's Den, the GTA IV episodes... and hopefully this. I mean, I'm probably missing some other good examples, but the point remains: Standalone DLC. That's the way to do it.

Not this Dragon Age "bolt on a hundred flags and masts hanging off the side of your ship and hope it still floats" mentality.

So, yeah.

Mass Effect 2, you're borderline.

You're just lucky all that stuff was good.

Personally, this is the style of DLC I can get behind-- the kind that stands on its own, tells its own story, and doesn't make you feel like you're having an incomplete experience without it. 
I hate being in the weird position of having to decide whether an optional gun is going to break the difficulty balance, or where in the game's story arc a DLC side-mission will actually fit properly, or whether it's going to break the flow, and is any of this even supposed to be canon, and oh god whatever.
This, Undead Nightmare, Minerva's Den, and the GTA IV episodes. That's the way to do it. 
Not this Dragon Age "bolt a hundred doodads onto the side of your ship and hope it still floats" mentality.
Mass Effect 2, you're borderline. 
You're just lucky all that stuff was actually pretty good.

Make it about 50% cooler and 50% less gross, and then maybe we'll see.
But right now I'm not really that interested in learning about how the evil ninja "Smoke" is really just the FBI codename for "Wallace Lee Smokinski," a crazy homeless child molester with a horribly burned face. 
 
Also I guess he also knows Krav Maga for some reason so ROUND ONE FIGHTTTT

That boxart...
Duke Nukem is so badass that the laws of perspective don't even apply to him.
That, or he's got a totally wicked mural on the ceiling of his house.

I only use it to start arguments with people and then go back and edit everything so that the argument retroactively makes no sense and they look like a crazy person

umm hey guys, uhh, we were just wondering if you would, well, umm, if you would maybe like some free medicine
*gets voted out of office*
 
CONSPIRACY