By Animasta 37 Comments
Hi! Idk if anyone still remembers me, I assume people do because I posted a lot like ages ago ago and there can't have been that much turnover, but i haven't posted here in 9 months so with the fact that my self esteem, much like my emotional state, varies wildly from positive to negative, might also lead me to believe that no one actually remembers me and this is going to be really awkward.
anyway, So by the time december rolled around, I was busy not thinking of anything to do with the fact that I, and my parents were becoming homeless, because our apartment priced us out and my brother and his girlfriend left and didn't help us because fuck them. Also rent in general in Portland is crazy. Thus, January rolled around, and we were homeless! We rented an RV for a month from a former bandmate of my father, who is literally bipolar and didn't take any meds. Let me say that the anxiety I got from living there was pretty bad. So Febuary rolls around, we spend a large amount of Febuary sleeping in the car which sucks and I would very much not recommend. We actually got into a shelter late febuary, and stayed there until we finally got an apartment we could afford.
The shelter was this old army reservists base, and it was actually pretty okay. It helped me become less anxious about my transition (there were so many transpeople there and I finally knew where to get women's shoes in size 11), and thus I started going full time whilst I was there, which was awesome; roughly 6 months in fact! Even if my 'full time' is actually just kinda t-shirts with varying degrees of tightness and pants that you would wear to a job, it's still nice to be able to go outside, wear makeup (lipstick actually i have no idea how to do other makeup) and not worry that much. I don't wanna post a pic because that's not really the point but you can look at my tumblr (same user name) if you really wanna know.
So I actually got my first job as soon as I became unhomeless, which was basically a janitorial training thing for people with disabilites, of which anxiety counts, so yep. It was probably the worst job for me because A: I am not very clean, as a person, B: It was a night job and I'm a morning person, C: My anxiety was actually very much not helpful because I had a timeline and that did not help! I did finally end up meeting friends there, because apparently I am actually super funny and likable once people get to know me, which was the first time I'd made a new friend irl since, like, high school. pretty sad, really, but I'll take it!
I actually quit because both my body and my mind couldn't fucking take it anymore, because I'm like tired all of the time and shit anyway, and I had to take my bike 4 miles to the MAX (light rail) station to get there and back, and fuck that. I haven't looked very much because I'm still super tired and I suspect it's a iron deficency due to my estradiol dosage, but hey, things are going okay without it. Actually I still feel guilty because my mom is working and I'm not but whatever
Anyway, for all of the people who wondered where that dumb trans shit poster was, here I am!
(PS if anyone's wondering about games I've played, Life is Strange is dope, Fallout 4 is not dope, Lightning returns is SO GOOD OMG)