UPDATE! About week back I made my decision to leave, go back, and make films on the side, mostly as a hobby, at least for now. I've felt my creative inspirations (which got me into films in the first place) drying up, as life became all about work, travel and sleep. I also need to get my life stabilized financially. The reasons have been explained in full in this blog and in my replies to the comments.

There was a lot of confusion that followed, as even though this film thing was killing the inspirational feelings, I was beginning to get used to this lifestyle. And dangerously enough, some of the aspects of this lifestyle (parties, celebrities etc) were beginning to become a bigger reason for me to continue with this, which isn't what I wanted to make films for. I felt the seduction of this lifestyle was convincing me to stay. After a huge phase of analysis paralysis, I've decided to get back to what makes my creativity work best. I'll be going back on the 27th, and getting a job that gives me time in the evenings. I don't know what's in store for me in the future, but this was a pretty good learning experience nonetheless.

So as of now the issue mentioned in the blog has been solved, and I've made my decision, but you can share your opinions if you feel like it. Thank you for all the comments! They really helped me make my decision :)

Original blog-

Some Background Info

I'm a 23 year old Architecture graduate. For the past 4 - 5 years, I've developed an intense passion for films and film making. This passion is somewhat shared with other interests of mine - video games, music, art, and other, more vague things like nature, beauty and the magic that is felt when I'm involved in any of my interests.

Having graduated in June 2015, last week I finally got the chance to work on set in a TV show, as an unpaid intern (thanks to a friend's uncle, who is a director on the show) I live in India, so the main location for the film industry is Mumbai. I packed my bags and left my comfortable life in Goa, (a relaxed, beautiful state famous for its beaches) and arrived at the big city scene of Mumbai on 6 Feb 2016.

The Experience

Now I tried writing this blog yesterday but sorta gave up, because whenever I describe my experience, it actually sounds good, fun and exciting.But what I describe is different from what I feel, so I guess you'll just have to take my word for that. It's also sort of difficult to describe the whole situation in a blog. In short, it's not been a very happy time.

Some of the difficulties are obviously temporary - I'm homesick, in a new place by myself, in a new job, no good friends etc. With time, these things will settle down. Other things, like the work schedule and the struggle may be permanent. I've been working 12 hour shifts everyday for the past week. Including this Sunday. These guys don't get anything called a holiday. Two of those shifts had been overnight - 6pm - 6am. I'm also in the expensive city of Mumbai where well earning professionals live as paying guests with 4-6 other flatmates. I'm currently living in one. They earn well and are approaching 30s, I don't even earn. How long will I be living like this? Do I want that? Is my love for film making bigger than my love for life? That's the question I wanna explore.

The only thing is that this is a TV show for which they need to shoot a 45 minute episode every week. They shoot half a movie in 4 days, so maybe that's why the crazy schedule exists. Also like all Indian TV shows, it's absolute crap. (Although I have to say Indian films are mostly crap as well. My passion has grown by watching everything except Indian cinema. So that may turn out to be a big problem in many ways) So maybe my feelings for working in a film could be different. Maybe the schedules would be different? Maybe I'd feel passionate about the work and enjoy working hard? I can only find that out by doing it sometime soon.

Questions in my mind, and figuring out my priorities

I never imagined that a life of pursuing your dream and a life of pursuing happiness could actually be mutually exclusive.I was always telling people to identify their passion and put all their energy into it for a happy life. But maybe... maybe your passion doesn't have to translate into a career specifically? Maybe that's just pigeonholing and limiting your creativity into the confines of a system defined by it's industry? If I love films and filmmaking, does that really mean I have to look into filling conventional roles of being a director, DOP, editor etc? Why can't I just love it and do it for myself? I know how to make films, and with the technology today, a person can make a complete indie film by himself whenever he feels like it and share it online.

Do I really have to compromise the other important parts of life for that?

As for the other parts of life, I'll describe how I actually like living usually. I value small every day things - sitting and playing a video game in the dark as it rains outside, relaxing with a cup of tea, playing pool with my friends (we did this often back in Goa and I miss it like hell), a calm lunch on the beach, listening to music while riding down the beautiful roads in Goa, painting, watching football, playing FIFA with my friends, trekking or most often - sitting by myself in my room and just browsing the freaking internet! These are some of the things that create a buzz in my head and I feel aware of being alive and being happy. I literally think to myself "ah... I'm feeling so good". This hasn't been happening since I've come here and that's worrying. Even when I come back to my room and go to the same websites, it doesn't give me any happiness. Maybe it's because the shifts drain my energy, or maybe the scene is just too different to enjoy something of that sort. I did not realize that I'd have to give up most of those things and as of now, it's not making me happy.

I met a friend yesterday (an old friend who is now in Mumbai for MBA) who told me that "you can't change Mumbai, you have to change according to it". The city is so fast paced and everybody's running around to do well in their work, and you have to do the same. If your work eats into your personal life, you have to let it. That's why you are here. Instead, I should try to enjoy what my personal life has been replaced with - for example the time spent on set. I admit, working on set is fun sometimes. To be happy here, I need to join the running around and embrace it. Forget my beautiful relaxed times where I sit and look at the stars with a cup of tea in my hand, listening to some amazing music, with some great friends around. Here, I keep my head down, work my ass off, go home only to sleep, and repeat. Would life pass me by, or would I end up creating a great work of art that gives me maximum fulfillment?

On the other hand, I could (eventually) go back, do a 9-5 in a small architecture office, earn regularly, do everything I love in my free time, rent a nice place and live with a friend of mine (thanks to places being affordable there, I could have my own place), learn cooking and cook often, play FIFA and pool, think about life, meditate, use the money I earn and time I've got to trek in the Himalayas, and later, around the world, explore, experience everything life has to offer because I have the time and money. Something that I might not have as I struggle to build a film career.

Which life would be more fulfilling? That of employed, big budget, recognized art, or art and life in my free time for myself?

I guess at this point I may have started repeating myself, but you've hopefully understood what I'm trying to convey. It's just me being taken aback that pursuing a dream is not currently contributing to happiness.

Why Films

What is my love for films? I'll try to keep this short. I love taking (and watching films with) beautiful shots. Cinematography matters a lot to me. I love it when that comes together with great soundtrack. I love stories of humanity and people, a character's struggle, how epic and amazing the small things and big things in life can look when put against each other. I love the philosophy that can be explored with films. But most of all I really do love when everything comes together in a slice of a film - music and a great shot with heavy emotions.

One of my travelling videos that highlights the visual+music thing I like in films.

Some of my favorite films are The Intouchables, In Bruges, Memories of Murder, Nightcrawler, Into the Wild, The Last Samurai. I don't watch films like a film student would, and I'll probably never watch Citizen Kane a second time. I still have to watch films by masters like Alfred Hitchcock and Stanley Kubrick. I'm sort of a bad film student. But what I'm in this is for the beauty. And working on set collaborating with 100s of people sucks that out for me. The logistics of it all is "the bad part" for me, but I also know that it is probably the most important part. Catering to audiences, marketing, finding producers, managing it all... I'm scared of that all and am not looking forward to it. I just wanna get to the magic.

I have made a lot of short films and music videos, but this video is the one that conveys my love for this medium the best. If you don't wanna watch the whole thing, skip to 10:42. The tragedy... the beauty, the music. Oh how do you do it Assassin's Creed! This is why I wanna make films. This is how I wanna make them.

I do a lot of things - paint, make music, photography etc just in pursuit of that magic and beauty. I'm bursting with inspiration at most times (not lately) and stuff like the Witcher and the beauty and mystery hidden within it just kills me. I'm seeking beauty and magic in this life. Indescribable magic. Film as a medium seems to hit all the right notes by involving all of those things, and therefore satisfies the most when done right. But if the experience of working on a major film sucks all the magic out, then it becomes self destroying, and I have to think about what I really want.

So What Now?

One week has taught me this. The only way to answer all my questions is to work, and work some more. I have nothing to lose. I do feel guilty about my parents supporting me as I try to find my feet, but if I don't give this a try, I'll probably regret it. I'll work with this TV show for a month at max - I can't take this crappy schedule and the show itself for much longer.

The plan is to move into working on actual films (indie, shorts, feature whatever I get) and continuously asses my experience. These couple of years are to be years of experimentation, and really valuable life experience. I'll see how it feels to work in a bunch of different films, and draw conclusions. If it suddenly feels beautiful, I'll carry on through the tough times for the sake of magic. If I suffer, and feel it's not the kind of life I want, I'll go back to Goa and get a job in a firm (which won't be an issue) and craft the kind of life I know makes me happy. A regular, less "great", beautiful life. But before I do that, I'll make the film that's inside me. A film that consists of everything that I love and want to express about magic and beauty, with whatever resources I have (dslr camera etc). It'll be like my last film before I leave this life. And just maybe, that film will do well in festivals and I'll decide to stick with film making, who knows! It's a bit like tricking myself. And if it doesn't do all that well, I'll make films the way I want in my own free time, as I explore life and beauty. As I said, I don't have to make films in a conventional career way and have that suck out all the fun and magic out of it, do I?

Tl;dr

I'm sorry for rambling for so long, and extremely thankful if you read all the way through. Tl;dr Is it possible that sometimes, pursuing a dream is not the same as living a happy life? If they're different, is it worth it to, as they say all the time, "follow your dreams"?

Hell, now that I think about it, what is my dream?

As you might remember me asking in this poll, I wanted to know how many people were considering switching over to PES 16 this year after having had enough of frustrating times with FIFA 16. I wrote about how I hated the scripting and the overall clunky gameplay that FIFA had devolved into in recent years, making the experience of a match more frustrating than exhilarating. Having played the FIFA demo and PES (full game), I know which one I prefer this year.

So is PES 16 better than FIFA 16? Short answer ... YES

Well, that is at least as long as we're talking majorly about gameplay here, and the experience of playing a match in either of the games. What I read about PES this year is true. When you start playing, you immediately feel the difference that each player brings. Playing with Chelsea, I felt the ingenuity and pace and control that Hazard posses in tight spaces as I used him to run past two defenders on the left flank, then cut inside the box, and bury the ball into the bottom right corner, past the keeper's outstretched hands. That was a typical Hazard move. I felt it when Willian picked up the ball in the middle of the park and launched a pacey counter attack. I made Oscar dictate the attack with his passing and link up play, and used Costa to bully the defenders before slotting it hard into the goal.

I won the first game 2-0. It felt great. The second match, against Manchester United, was much closer. I took the lead, only to lose them as they made the comeback. I dug in, and produced two more great goals. For the last 15 or so minutes, I passed the ball around and shut up shop. AND IT WORKED. No bullshit 90 minute goal by the opposition to equalize and send the game to penalties or whatever SCRIPTED shit. It felt like a typical Chelsea win. It's your choice, obviously, how you want to play it out.

The remaining features I have yet to play and discover. Since I've only played the FIFA 16 demo yet, it would make sense to only compare the gameplay of a single match and make judgments about that.

FIFA's strength has, at least in recent times, been its presentation, graphics, menus, soundtrack and commentary. And I would say that in those aspects, FIFA still has the upper hand. The soundtrack I heard in the demo sounded great. As always, it'll be worth listening to. Graphics on the other hand, is a tricky question, especially on PC. From what you may have heard, they're not on the level of PS4/ Xone graphics. You can check out the comparisons on Youtube etc... The crowd looks comical, and a couple of other aspects have a last gen feel about it (but it really doesn't matter during the course of a match, as I observed)

As for the commentary, from what I've heard till now, it's not too far behind FIFA. In fact, I have to say that when a goal is scored, the commentary is done VERY well. There's a lot more excitement in Peter Drury's voice, and in that moment it beats FIFA's commentary. The rest of the time, it does the job pretty alright.

You can check out that close match I mentioned above, between Chelsea and Man Utd, in this video below. Also check out the commentary when a goal is scored. (My personal favorite was when Hazard scored. Unfortunately that was another match)

So, what do you guys think? Have you tried out both the games this year? Which do you like better?

I'm often here blogging about games I finished and loved, and I end the whole experience by making a tribute video for the game and putting that up along with the blog.

Well FIFA is a game that never ends, but I've only recently started making music videos for that too.

I love long range goals. Recently I looked up on Youtube on how to score those, and since it's not been left up to chance, I've been scoring a lot more. (one even from the half line!) So the trick is to start the move while running. When you wanna go for the shot, leave the run button, let the player take a touch (which pushes the ball a bit further as he stops running) and shoot with about 50% power. Then push the left stick forwards to ensure the ball dips downwards. There it is! If everything went well, you'll have a goal or at least a corner!

(I edited the title so many times that the word "career" sounds really funny now. How did we come up with that funny word?)

Note: I live in India, so things like education/ career work a little bit differently here (for example - the film industry)

First, a bit of intro to my college life, and why films

After 5 long, difficult years of doing something I pretended to be interested in, I'm finally free of the burden of college. (Yes I can hear some people saying it gets harder, but it feels great anyway!) I'd joined Architecture when I wasn't really sure what I wanted to do with my life, apart from the fact that "I like drawing". Being inspired by films like Office Space in my childhood, I knew I never wanted to work in an office (Ironically, an architecture firm's office life, in many cases, is not very different, as I later discovered) And so, I blindly stepped into a course that was more challenging than I'd ever imagined, and made me work more than I ever had in my life. I had a terrible first two years, passing by the closest of margins while having no idea what on earth architecture was about.

Thankfully by the third year I realized that in order to get out of the nightmare in the shortest possible time, I'd have to work my ass off and do my best in college. That ended up working out pretty well, since the third year onwards I got a real hang of it, decoded what it was all about, and did really well (funnily, without actually working my ass off anymore, cause I knew exactly how to work) Also, luckily I was able to identify my passions by then, and film was one of them.

Still, what kept me motivated to work in college was the need to get out in 5 years - not more. I never developed a passion for the profession of architecture, but I enjoyed the competition with my classmates. Also, changing my image from a "good-for-nothing" student in school, to an "always done on time with good work" student in college was a real revelation and learning experience for myself. I earned my own self respect, and realized that school always tried to push me down, whereas college didn't give a shit about me. I thrived in the latter situation.

During the college years, and through all the work, I also managed to take time out to make a couple of short films, about 8-10 music videos for my two-man band, and two travel documentaries about trips we made to different parts of my country. This ended up being super useful, as I identified my passion for making films (which outdoes even watching films. It's similar to how some of us spend more time tweaking/ modding games than actually playing them), and also went through all the difficult parts - the stress, the irritation, the rush to finish everything on a really tight schedule, the zero budget solutions etc.

Having done architecture, I was easily able to relate the pains of the two and learn something - for me, going through all the difficult parts of film making is still enjoyable and rewarding. When I worked on my arch. projects though, it was all pain and no pleasure. Creative and artistic fields always bring a degree of pain with them, but when you're willing to, or at some level, even enjoy going through the not so cool parts, then that's something that would be best to pursue.

So in the past five years, I learned how to turn around a difficult situation into something I could do well at, and ended up becoming highly motivated, passionate, etc etc.

The current situation - post college, lack of direction, grew a grief beard

College ended (on May 28th) and the first few days were a high. The rest have been a mix of confusion (why am I not having the best time of my life??) and feeling completely useless. (I'll get to my career plan after this section)

During college I always felt that given a few months of complete freedom, I'd be able to have the best time of my life. I know how to entertain myself and be productive. I'd write a book, make videos, draw until my hands bled, learn music composition, read until my eyes bled, play games, meditate, sculpt Michelangelo's David, build a cabin in the woods - you get the idea. I thought this was going to be an amazing month, with the release of my most anticipated game ever (Witcher 3) lining up perfectly with free time. Also, it's monsoons. I love the rains. And now I've had a month off to myself, and it's mostly just been depressing. I feel I'm more on a schedule than I was when I was actually on a schedule.

Get up by 9 am, breakfast, play Witcher 3, internet, watch a film, football, Witcher 3, internet, sleep. Funny thing being, I did exactly the same thing post school (before college) and that time was a blast. (replace Witcher with Dragon Age Origins)

I have a few theories as to why that was such a great, fulfilling time as compared to now. One maybe that five years of work in Architecture have made me a productivity addict, and lacking that constant flow of work - reward, work - reward, gives me feelings of guilt because it's been all reward without any work recently. Second, that maybe after school holidays, I knew I had to get into some college, and all colleges have a specific starting time (around July) So I knew there was a direction in the future, and this free time was limited. (although I have enjoyed myself for a few moments in between, and reading/ watching stuff about philosophy and life/ leadership skills has been enjoyable and useful)

So basically its me, living with my mom (living with parents is the norm in India until you move for a job) with no current direction in life (and only dreams/ passions) on the doorstep of actual adulthood, doing nothing (as of this moment) with my life. This gets overlooked because we usually have a plan (I do) but the plan isn't in motion yet. Also, my friends are all busy (old friends still in college, some busy with jobs) or have moved, which maybe adding to the situation.

Plan for the future -

During the last months of college, I'd given an exam for a really good film school in the country (I know it's not recommended to join one in US, but it's a bit different here) and I failed to get through that (21 people out of 1000s were selected) I met a director who lives closeby, and he said I should take at least a short course so that I understand the technical language used on a film set, so that I'm not confused during a shoot/ don't slow the clockwork process down. That made sense, so I signed up for a good, very affordable 3 month course, which is probably due to start mid - July.

That is currently my ray of hope. I'm not useless (excuse the drama). Somewhere, mid July, I'll travel across the span of the country (literally, from Goa to Calcutta, where my dad lives due to work). I'll meet new people, face new challenges, pursue my passion head on, and in my few moments of free time, reward myself with a bit of Witcher 3 :)

The director I met earlier, has another shoot coming up in January, and I'll most probably be working with him for that. Also, this course chooses students according to their performance, and offers them work on some of their real life projects after the course. I may be working for free for a while, or working on really small projects, but I'll be doing something. I'm sure within a couple of years I'll get the hang of this too, and work out how exactly to work.

Plan for a lifetime-

So that's basically my situation, and it's actually not as depressing as I've made it sound :P Once the dates for the course come out, I'll once again have a specific target in front of me. But most of all, it has made me realize something important about myself. I need a reason to be free. (i.e I do enjoy drinking tea and watching the clouds roll by for hours, but that's when I have some structure to my life. For example, semester holidays that will end at some point) I need to earn my time to "do -nothing" (Also I need to learn how to enjoy doing nothing) Which, in a way, is good. If I want to pursue my passion, I need to be willing to work hard everyday - and it seems that I want exactly that. And once I'm done with my hard work and have created something out of it, I can reward myself with a holiday, and therefore avoid any guilt. (and then maybe I can enjoy living in the woods for a few months, reading, writing, meditating, having tea and being a hermit)

The film industry in India is something that I'm not a fan of, as discussed in an earlier blog, but I've realized that this creates a good opportunity. This is the very moment where there's a shift in mentality occurring (albeit slowly) concerning the type of films that are getting created here. New, contemporary filmmakers are showing up, and filmmaking is being recognized as something more than just "mindless entertainment" (which has been the formula of Bollywood for most of its existence) I've read stuff that suggests that hollywood doesn't want any more directors, and that there is a huge amount of competition. While Bollywood also has (relatively lesser) competition, it's going through a sort of a rebirth. And a rebirth needs new ideas. I hope to take advantage of this situation, and hope to do it soon.

But for now, it's back to waiting for mid July!

What about you guys? Can you relate? Have you gone through weird times like these and have something to share?

Also the blog ended up being so long that I might have lost direction halfway and may have stopped making sense. Excuse me if that's the case :P I also wanted to talk about so much more,(The Witcher 3, games, daily life) but this is all I could remember as of now. Maybe in another blog

So a couple of weeks back, I finished playing (or rather rushed through the last couple of missions) AC: Unity. I'm usually very lenient when it comes to Assassin's creed games (i.e I'm a fan) and don't bash them for releasing an installment every year since they manage to create good experiences every time.

As you might've read, I LOVED ACIV : Black Flag (and it did receive a lot of praise), and was therefore pretty excited for the next installment - Unity. A return in many ways to the origins of the series, more fleshed out assassination sequences, a love story, a new setting, and some "next-gen" gameplay changes were enough to make me believe this experience would be as memorable as it was with AC IV.

Unfortunately, for some reason, it wasn't. I will admit, the gameplay and free running was largely improved. It was a lot of fun to run around the city, and the combat wasn't too bad either.

The graphics too, obviously, were amazing. I say obviously because that was one of the most talked about features of the game. The lighting, the shadows, when they weren't making my machine bleed, were a joy to behold. Which brings me to the point that probably overshadowed everything else about the game upon release - its performance.

It was really, really terrible when I first started the game. It wouldn't touch 20fps, and was actually unplayable. Surprisingly, a patch and a couple of settings in the nVidia control panel took care of that beautifully. It ran consistently above 30fps, and for all the negativity surrounding the game's performance, plus the fact that I played it on a two year old laptop, I was (eventually) quite happy with its performance.

So now the game looked great, and it played great. What was the problem then?

• Too many pointless things to do: I'm what you could call the opposite of a completionist - I always only do those things which I feel would add to the experience. Many times I've ignored collectibles right in front of my character because I don't see a reason to go picking it up.
  This game, in this regard, was a nightmare. The map is enough to induce a headache. Why do open world games need so many things "to do"? Take bethesda games for example, instead. The "to do" in those games is discovery. You explore, you learn some things, stumble upon characters and loot, and kill some enemies. Here, though, they do nothing to help the story or character progress. The only tasks I did do was prevent the innocent citizens from being attacked. It added to the atmosphere, and it also led to some good rewards (which are useful in the early stages) Everything else was ignored.
  (SPOILERS)
• The story is a missed opportunity: The setup was great, and I loved the way that game started - with Arno's childhood. It gives a great chance to understand and get attached to the character ( loved it in Fable 1 as well)
  It was great all the way up until Arno gets arrested. But then what went wrong?
• The Assassin - templar conflict, and the forgettable middle: Well this is what happened to the story - the "game" began. Were it not imprisoned by the name of its franchise, it could've been an actual good game. It's funny that the most forgettable part about the game is its core - the design that dictates that the protagonist must start killing a list of targets until he reaches the final victim. Thinking back, all I remember about the game is the beginning (till he joins the Assassins) , and the very end (the final assassination)
  Elise's death made me realize what a great chance the game had to be a memorable experience, which was sacrificed for the sake of making it an Assassin's Creed game.
• Boring antagonists, underused Elise: First of, all the antagonists and the targets were dreadfully boring and uninspiring. Hell, even Arno wasn't interested in killing them! He was more interested in Elise, and so was I! So then why was 80% of the game about taking down these boring targets and only the remainder about Elise?
  I followed the main missions one by one, killing the targets as required, and I would often forget why I was killing them, and why I was killing anyone in the first place. The trigger event is the death of Elise's father, but we were never given a chance to care for him. Elise did, and Arno cared about Elise, and she wanted them dead, so he somewhat wanted them dead too. But he'd still prefer if he and Elise chucked the whole thing and started a new life somewhere. She didn't even really blame him for what happened (eventually) and it didn't feel like Arno wanted to prove anything. So why were we killing these unknown people?
  As for the under use of Elise, I felt they didn't have enough "positive" moments to complement the "necessary" moments together. Sure, it was nice how Elise was involved in the last couple of missions, but the game needed some instances of them purely enjoying each others company. You could say that they didn't have the time for that, but the thing is, you don't need much time to put these moments in.
  For example, the moment the two were together in the hot air balloon was a good one. But the night that followed (as suggested by Arno waking up alone in the balloon's basket) should have been shown as well. Where they were not together by circumstance or need, but actually wanted to be together. (The kiss in the balloon is seriously underwhelming as well, thanks to there being zero music during the scene)
  So ideally, less of missions involving meaningless "bad guys", more missions that involved Elise earlier on during the game, and then a couple more of cutscenes that helped create an attachment to Elise would have helped make the game a LOT more memorable. Just look at how Black Flag does that with its characters, for instance. They are involved.
  Still, Elise shone through as a good character (and a really beautifully modeled one!), and the clash of her convictions with Arno's was interesting as well. Only, it could've been so much more.

Here's a video tribute I made to the story between the two characters. Hopefully, I've been able to capture the bit of emotion that the game does have-

So we're a bunch of 5th year Architecture students, and we've been given an assignment (in a non-core subject) to make a 5 minute short film.

As an aspiring filmmaker (once I'm done with this course) I'm taking this assignment pretty seriously so that I can add to my portfolio and experience. I've done a couple of short films before, and a lot of music videos as well, so the technical parts aren't an issue. But we seem to be a little stuck with the writing.

So I'm hoping for some good insight from you Giantbombers (I've learnt quite a lot from you guys.) especially since most people on here seem to be well informed on a large variety of topics. I remember asking you guys what makes writing "bad" or "good" in this blog here, and got satisfactory responses. I'm hoping I can get similar help again :)

So Anyways, the plot - (as it stands)

1. Character, setting, obstacle and our intention

The story is about an architecture student (obviously :P) who is stuck with his design. He's struggling between his emotions that drive what he wants to design/ plan and between being practical. Every time he is about to draw even a single line, he stops himself, as he considers how the jury that he will face the next day might criticize his design intentions that he might not be able to "justify"

(This is a problem we students face all the time. Over the years we learn never to put anything in your design plan unless it is completely needed, even though it might just "feel" good. Every wall, window, column must have a reason.)

So the intention here ^ is to question. There are somethings that we feel personally that can sometimes not be explained, that we ourselves might not know the source of. So we chicken out of putting them in our designs and stick with approved methods of design.

So as this student is stuck on one part of his design, he closes his eyes (in frustration or fatigue) and starts to imagine (as we do for design)

2. The character's childhood - his inspiration

At this point, say he imagines running down moss covered stone steps, his hands grazing a similarly moss covered stone wall as he runs down these stairs. This place is probably where lived as a child. A beautiful home of a beautiful time of his life, at least as he remembers it. He may not know this, but his architectural designs are all inspired from his memories, or his experiences as a child (Our childhood experiences greatly affect and shape us)

So maybe he has an attachment to walls like those, that he faintly remembers touching while running past as a child. The sense of touch has stuck with him, and for this inexplicable reason (for him) he feels a strong emotional need to put a wall that conveys this feeling in his own design. Planning sense tells him otherwise,(maybe put a courtyard instead) but the feeling of running down in that particular way or speed begs him to put a wall .

There would also be him providing Voice over, talking about his experiences as a child ("I would run down to play in our gardens every evening.. etc")

Other similar experiences would be - say, his father who would play the piano for him, but would like to keep the curtains drawn when he did so - leading him to have a specific affection for a certain type of dim - lighting: Affecting the kind of windows or openings that he feels the need to include in his own design. There are a bunch of other experiences, but I won't write them here - Hopefully these ^ convey the point. They reveal his character and history, and try to show the mentality of design and inspiration some of us have.

3. A jury as a companion through his memories - self criticism

Now, at one point, one of his faculty/ jury begins to accompany him through his memories. This basically is a visualization of what goes through our heads when we criticize our own work during the process of design (Whenever I think of creating anything for my design, I am always able to imagine how a certain faculty member would react to it, and accordingly change/ fix what I intend to do)

Here the faculty member walks with him and learns about the character and his history, something the jury doesn't get to do in real life while criticizing our designs from our 2D plans. It gives a new dimension to the interaction between student and jury.

This jury member gets a chance to sit next to the character on his favorite moss covered steps, watch his dad play the piano etc, and talk to him about it.

4. Jury through his design

Next, the student character leads the jury out of the spaces from his memories, and into the spaces he's trying to design. These are basically normal buildings, but have clear inspirations from the experiences shown earlier from his childhood. For example, lighting inspired from the piano evenings, moss covered walls in a more contemporary fashion.

It's something that every student would love to do - take the jury through their designs and show them what they would feel if they actually stepped into their imagination, rather than trying to dissect them unemotionally through 2D technical drawings and 3D models. The experience of walking through the building is, in the end, the most important.

The "Problem Point" - Where all of us are stuck:

Now the company reaches the point where the student is stuck (funnily, where we are stuck as well). At this point, we plan to show something that conveys the incomplete state of his design, or a mental block. (We'll show this with the help of a cliff overlooking the sea, or a dam or something of that scale. A bit inception-ish here)

Here are the ideas that we have had -

1. If we do this on a cliff, we could have them walk over to the edge and see a body sprawled on the beach below. "Who was he?" the jury could ask. "My brother" or "That's me" the student could reply, with a shocked expression on his face.

The idea behind that is that maybe there was such an event in his life, that left him with a "missing piece" in his memories. If it was his brother, maybe he was too traumatized and blocked that part out of his head (A bit inspired from "To the moon" yes) If it was he himself, then maybe he suffered actual brain damage that led him gave him amnesia.

Since for this character -> memory = design, a missing piece of memory is bound to lead him to a mental block in design. Now that he has undertaken a bit of a mental journey through his memories, and through this experience, in a bit of shutter island fashion, remembered what he had forgotten, he is able to overcome the block. Whether he has the courage to actually put it to paper is undecided.

But, since we are not completely sure about whether this is a... good, or atleast, correct solution to the story, we've been thinking of more possibilities.

2. One of my friends suggested keeping the body on the beach a purely metaphorical point. No brain injury, no death. The body on the beach signifies that the student himself has, maybe failed too many times, and is scared to proceed.

I'm not too sure about that though, it seems a bit inconsistent with the rest of the story. Why show the whole thing about inspiration from memories then?

3. Another idea is that he is frustrated, maybe due to his need for perfection. The beauty tied to his childhood is unreachable, pure and ultimate, largely affected by nostalgia. Everything in his memories is filled with life, whereas his representations in design feel like soulless imitations. There are no memories attached to that yet. Maybe that's what keeps stopping him from proceeding with his design. In comparison to his childhood, it's just not good enough.

Help me with a central issue here- Since we are taking the audience through his memories, it would have to be that the conflict relates to his memories somehow right? I mean if it's a confidence or self esteem issue, we wouldn't waste the audience's time with the memory trips would we?

Thanks for any possible help duders. Sorry it was such a long post :P Tomorrow we're going to look for locations, and day after we start shooting. Thanks again!

(I am unable to link this to the Game of thrones 2012 forums. Help?)

For some reason this game received extremely negative feedback and reviews, even though it is a really really enjoyable game. I suspect the reason for this is the name that it had to be associated with: Game of Thrones. The name alone brings along with it a heavy burden of expectations, and not without reason.

Game of thrones, as books and the Tv show, have a huge amount of fleshed out characters, and they consider all of them to be equally important to the story; rather than have most of them as supporting characters. There is a solid lore in place, and the show brings along with it great cinematography, locations, and high budget effects and scenes; all of which tend to lend an image of what a game of the franchise should be like.

What most people would expect is a huge open world games with a faithful recreation of locations, characters and the world. You'd expect to see the towering wall, a bustling, sprawling King's landing, and vast rolling plains and valleys to travel though from one location to another. You'd expect to see all the characters impacting the story, voiced by their respective actors from the show. You'd expect an epic adventure that brings all the highlights of the show into the game. But the game is not any of that.

It's hard to fault anyone for those expectations; blame Martin or the directors for spoiling us with quality, especially budget wise (in the show) But it is ridiculous to dismiss a game from a stubborn perspective of the game was supposed to be like. Disappointment in the above aspects seems to have made most blind to how good a game this is on its own merits.

The story is the game's strongest point

The game is set up as a prequel to the events of the books - the game ends around the time when John Arryn dies (in the very beginning of the books) and overlaps the events for the last hour or so. The story here is a very personal one, and not (as desired by most) an epic one.

The story follows two separate characters - Mors - a recruiter of the Night's Watch, who's on an escort mission to protect someone who could turn out to be one of the most important characters of the story told in the books, while he is also plagued by the pain of his family's mysterious death.

Alester is the other character, a follower of Rllhor, who had abandoned his claim to Riverrun (I think) in order to follow "The lord of light". The reasons for his sudden disappearance are unknown, but he makes a return a decade or so later for his father's funeral, and decides to stay in order to set things straight back home.

Their stories are played bit by bit, and for more than half the game, the stories remain completely disconnected. However, the coming together of the stories, when it does finally happen, happens beautifully. Questions are answered, friends are reunited, and there are a lot of great twists to be had. The game is brimming with schemes, betrayals, dark pasts, and attempts at redemption.

Infact, the story of the game is one of the best stories in video games. If you are a fan of good stories, you should check this out.

Soundtrack from the Tv series features here, and works pretty well with the game's setting.

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Combat is solid and enjoyable

The combat plays out tactically, with you in control of (mostly) two characters. It's quite similar to Dragon age (Origins) with maybe a bit more emphasis on immediacy: The combat doesn't pause, but slows time down upon pressing the space bar key, allowing you to que up actions and plan your moves.

Alester gives you the ability to set your enemies on fire through a number of skills, and allows you to take it further through explosions, wildfire etc. You have the option to specialize in a specific class made for the character, granting you special skills of that class. You get the option to have a second specialization in the later levels of the game. Planning the character well can lead him to become a serious killing/burning machine, which becomes really enjoyable to watch and play with.

Mors on the other hand is more of a tank, with his own class specializations. He also has a pet dog that aids you in combat (with his own set of upgradable skills) Mors, being a skinchanger, allows you to control the dog (giving you a cool first person view through the dog) in order to stealthily explore your surroundings and take down your enemies in advance.

It's fun when the two characters combine their skills to take down strong groups of enemies, and I can say that I had fun during the combat sequences, rather than it being a chore between the story bits.

Side characters, side quests, open world, graphics, locations - The "misses"

The two reasons above- great story and combat - make this game a real pleasure to play through. Those are the core aspects that run the game (and would be true for any other good game) Unfortunately, the other aspects of the game don't keep up (possibly due to budget problems)

The game gives you areas to play in (sometimes them being suitably large) such as the Castle black, and its surrounding areas, or the unfortunately disappointing recreation of King's landing. But, it is not an open world game. A bit like The Witcher 1, it opens areas from chapter to chapter, later allowing you to move to any of them through the map. Still, the locations of W1 had life and personality, which is quite obviously lacking here. There are citizens and npcs spread around each area, but they are far too few and static.

King's landing is deserted, the wall looks too small, and the major book characters are absent from the story (except for Cersie Lannister, who is somewhat involved in the story towards the second half)

The npcs themselves don't have much of a personality. Once they've played they're part, they're just mannequins filling up the game world space. While some of these npcs shine in the story or cutscenes, outside of it there isn't much use of them.

There aren't many side quests to take or problems to solve. I guess the characters are pretty focused on their missions, but it does feel lacking. Fortunately, the story and its quests are long and involving enough to make up for it, but it does make the game feel...smaller.

The graphics lack as well, mostly looking hazy and too dark to make out anything. Its as if someone fogged up the whole world, reducing contrast and saturation.

On their own, these aspects can make a game pretty enjoyable (recent example Risen 3) In the same way, on its own, solid story and combat are often more than enough to provide a great experience, and GoT RPG does just that. A combination of all the aspects, obviously, creates the best games (Hopefully Witcher 3!)

So according to me, this game received huge negativity based solely on the latter aspects, and the praise for the former aspects is curiously missing.

If you're a GoT or RPG fan, do check this one out at some point. Hopefully, Cyanide studios continues to make great games like this in the future, although all the games they've released since have been pretty bad. I guess this was their one shot at greatness, and undeservedly, it failed completely

(This is a copy of my post in the ACIV forums, which due to the site being broken, I couldn't attach it through my blog. Therefore I just copied it for my own collection of my blogs. I tried removing it from the general discussions forums, hopefully it worked. Either way, this topic is probably buried at its bottom)

I often feel that the perspective with which we have begun to discuss games with, discussing it through some isolated parameters, blind us to the satisfaction of the overall game. Sure, gameplay, graphics, story, atmosphere, sound, replayability, its multiplayer are all important things to think about when it's time to decide whether or not a game is worth spending our hard earned cash and time on. Only thing is, at least for me, I think these smaller parameters contribute to a larger, more crucial factor - the overall experience. In my case, sometimes by the end of a game, and despite its apparent flaws discussed in great detail by some reviews, I can't help but fall completely in love with it simply on the basis of how it made me feel by the time I was done with it.

It's reasonable to believe that if each of the individual factors (gameplay, replayability etc) are touched upon, it'll give a good idea of the overall experience. But the only thing is, I feel, that each of those factors may not always contribute equally to the overall experience. I guess what I mean is that games are discussed in too great a depth in only technical terms.

Simply put, a game lacking in gameplay (though not to the level of unplayability) may have an amazing storyline or atmosphere, that makes up for the less than great gameplay. The feeling at the end of the game may be one of satisfaction. On the other hand, it might even be that a game with very tight gameplay might lack "soul" and be forgotten after a few months of finishing it. Giantbomb's way of reviewing is pretty good in this way, because although they discuss the details, the overall verdict is just rating out of five stars and a concluding line, rather than rating per parameter.

Some examples I can share here are, on one side, the game Risen. It is, as we know, a mostly underrated game, and some of us love those types of games. It did get praise for certain parts (involving gameplay and leveling, interesting atmosphere) and criticism for some others. Thing is, giving a conclusion based on those points makes many people avoid buying that game, because they get the feeling that it isn't the most polished of experiences, and for some reason that would prevent them from having a good time with it.

Honestly speaking, I still sometimes watch Youtube videos of that game, because something about that game still sticks in the back of my head.

Another ( somewhat ridiculous) example is GTA IV. It's a great game, very playable, with a lot of interesting things to do in a very interesting world. Yet, we have managed to weed out (unnecessary) criticisms about it and almost giving it a bit of a bad image.

Maybe It's just me who is tired of criticism, being an Architecture student, who faces it almost every other week during presentations/ vivas :P But I just feel in a medium that focuses on experience, there should be more of an emphasis on what experience the game provides and a lesser focus on it's technicalities.

I should clearly state though, this is only my way of playing/ looking at games. I'm a bit of a romantic that way, and would probably make a terrible game critic/ reviewer. I never like getting technical about things. If a game (or even film) manages to evoke emotions within me, I'll be completely in love with it.

I mean, Deadly Premonition was my GoTY. Yeah. (And yet, I barely remember my experience with a very similar game - Alan Wake)

So it's quite obvious what creates a beautiful gaming experience in my case - Story, characters, atmosphere. Games that I love for doing these well are Mass Effect 1 & 3 (where people mostly prefer Mass Effect 2), Dragon Age: Origins, The Witcher 1 (I vastly prefer it over the much more acclaimed Witcher 2); Fable TLC (people prefer the first in the franchise, but very few would put it in their top 10); TES IV: Oblivion (Prefer it much more over Skyrim, I guess in a way similar to those who love Morrowind above the others); Assassin's Creed 1 (AC2 isn't bad, but I was admittedly disappointed with it the first time I played it. It lacked... some wonder of the first. I have begun to appreciate it over time though) and most recently, Assassin's Creed 4: Black Flag.

I guess I play games in a search of beauty. In search something profound, deliberate or there by accident. That is where games do something that films cannot. Films cannot allow you to dive from your ship into the depths of the bright blue Caribbean ocean, with the power of decision to choose in which direction you'd like to swim.

In the beginning of Black Flag, I spent a large amount of time slowly sailing on the seas, often diving off to spend some time in silence on one of the many tiny islands scattered throughout. Many of them didn't even have a chest or a collectible, but they were places that I could choose to go to, and stand there for as long as I liked, watching the sun set, the moon rise, the change of color in the sea, the dolphins (I think) swimming by, the birds circling up ahead, and the soft music that accompanied it all. Here's a 1 minute video of what I'm talking about (The pic on the right is from that vid. I didn't embed it as I couldn't reduce the size of the video player)

The freedom to do this, to make our own experiences, is where the unique strength of games lie. Another game that accomplishes this beautifully is TES IV: Oblivion (or Skyrim, you could say, but in that I didn't feel the world as much)

This highlights another funny way of playing games of mine. I never try to get any of the achievements, or say, collectibles. I'm sure there are other people that do this too, but we are surely a minority. In the end, after spending hours playing Black Flag, (actually I played it over a period of 4 months - started around November, finished yesterday) my percent completed stands at 63%. My ship was only adequately upgraded, I only fought one legendary ship once (and died), I did about 6-7 assassination contracts, and collected only a few treasures.

I did chase down shanties though, and finished all the Templar assassinations. I guess I do those things that the character would (say role playing) and everything that adds to the story. Rest is just my wanderings through beautiful locations to soak in the atmosphere (streets, jungles, taverns and the above mentioned island)

Ofcourse, this isn't the only thing I loved about Black Flag. Everything else was spot on. The exciting gameplay is one of the reasons why it has received a great reception, and it makes me all the more happier. The game is finely crafted, and here, the overall experience and the individual parameters are both excellent.

I had exceedingly high expectations from the game, so a tiny bit of disappointment was expected. That happened after the initial few hours, when I began to find the story a little shallow. It gave me a Mass Effect 2 vibe. It had characters, but the story didn't feel too engaging. That feeling went away though, as the story began to pick up in an interesting way a little later than halfway through.

*******AC IV: BLACK FLAG SPOILERS START HERE******

What sealed my final feelings about the game was the ending (I had a similar feeling after finishing DA:O) The story became very personal, and centered on Edwards' (and Anne Bonny's) feeling of being the survivors, of having witnessed all the chaos, and now being left with a feeling of emptiness. It did have the expected ending - the protagonist succeeds in defeating the bad guys, and accomplishes his mission. But the reaction wasn't the most expected, not for us and nor for the characters. It's haunting how through the blur of the action of the major bulk of the game, everything else was forgotten about, both to us and the characters. At the end though, it's there for everyone to see - what mattered were the people we met.

The hunger for success was so strong, Edward was blinded to everything else by it, and lost everyone in the process. At the end, when he has achieved what he set out for, it feels less like an achievement, and stings more of regret. It's a bittersweet end. And it scares and cautions me, to not become blind to the more subtle, everyday precious things in life during my journey towards success.

*******AC IV: BLACK FLAG SPOILERS END HERE******

And that's pretty much what I feel makes a beautiful experience worth spending my time and money on in games, which Black Flag beautifully achieves. It isn't very quantifiable, it's a bit mixed up, and it keeps adjusting itself according to the game in question, but I guess it's all led by feeling and instinct. Like the way I just knew Black flag was going to be a great experience while some moaned about another installment. And I know Witcher 3 is going to be the experience of all experiences for me :) Can't wait.

To end, I made a bit of a "tribute video" for the game, focusing on Edward's journey through those years. I used soundtrack from AC 3 (only good thing about that game), AC4, and also The Dark Knight ;) Please give it a watch if you enjoyed the game (and my blog)

Also, it has MAJOR SPOILERS So do not watch if you have yet to finish the game :)

So what are your opinions? What is it that makes a game stand out above all others when you look back at all the gaming experiences that you have been through?

I used to share my attempts at learning painting (digital, using photoshop) on these forums quite frequently, but I began to get busier and busier with college work that prevented me from both blogging or painting too much regularly.

I've been missing both, and while I continue to procrastinate that blog I've been meaning to write about the many interesting experiences I've had in life, (or that have been made interesting by sitting down and thinking about how movie-esque life can be), I managed enough time in the past few months to paint a new painting, and then eventually animate it.

My personal achievement is that I finally learnt FL Studio, which I'd wanted to for a couple of years but it's complexity always led to confusions and me giving up on it. Somehow, this time I stuck with and didn't let go throughout the confusions and frustrations. I just kept trying, failing, creating crappy music, and then trying again. By the end I was able to create a track that at least satisfied me personally.

The painting also came after a period of terrible looking paintings that had me doubting my ability to draw. I felt like I'd forgotten everything I'd learnt.

So overall it's been a pretty good experience creating this painting and then the video, and it makes me happy cause it sort of shares some things very important to me personally.

Hope you like it!

So i'm writing a (proper) blog here after a long LONG break. Like, after about 2 whole years. The last blog I wrote was about my excitement for Skyrim. Oh man time passes by really really fast! (That's a topic for another blog though)

So I started watching Lost ... well i'm not exactly sure when, but I'm guessing around late 2010. Giantbomb's Deadly Premonition Endurance Run had ended earlier that year, which had led me to watching Twin Peaks to scratch that DP ER itch. And after TP, I started watching X-files to scratch the Twin Peaks itch. But X- files didn't really satisfy me, so I landed up on Lost. (Pretty cool how Giantbomb is the cause of it all right?)

(To get in the Lost mood, you could play this while reading the blog :P)

*******LOST SPOILERS AHEAD******

Man the show has left me feeling really empty inside, and I knew it would. I was actually scared to finish watching the show and I really slowed down during the last season. I even planned the situation I wanted to watch the finale in. Alone at home, while it rained heavily outside. Beautiful.

And that's what I loved about the show. There was always so much beauty in all of it. I'm sure many people watched it for the mysteries, the thrills and everything (at least in the beginning) but what got me hooked were the heart breaking and beautiful stories of the characters. I guess people find what they look for. What mainly got me hooked in the beginning was John Locke. His perception about life, about their role in the island, his immovable faith in things that other people could not understand were what mainly made me fall in love with the show.

The point in the show where they revealed that he only regained his walking ability upon reaching the island completely blew me away. Suddenly, him lying on the sand, staring at his own toes moving within his socks, in the middle of all the chaos suddenly made sense. Him helping Charlie out with his drug addiction ("The Moth") almost had me in tears - tears of happiness. I had finally found the show to satisfy my new itch, but probably something more.

From then on, that was mainly what the show was about for me. And every episode delivered. Every episode had those amazing moments, and even though Locke gradually lost his initial aura, and suffered a change in character (plus, you know, death), I kept finding new characters to love - Sawyer, Hurley, Charlie, Ben linus (started loving this guy), Jin and Sun (broke my heart a billion times goddammit) Miles, Faraday, Jack and eventually even Desmond. I really loved all those moments towards the end when they all began to remember one by one. Their expressions were priceless. Add to that the beautiful music, and I felt like the producers and writers of the show exactly what satisfied me. I think I'll never love a show like I've loved this.

Infact, I feel like this is the most satisfying and beautiful peace of art/ fiction I have ever experienced. Better than any book or film I have read or seen. And this is what sort of worries and saddens me. This is for two reasons:

Firstly, I was impressed with every episode I watched. I could not understand how the writers possessed the intelligence to remember every alternate life story they had written and make them all come to some sort of a conclusion. I'm currently writing a book (or im trying my best to) , and writing a single page is a challenge. What they have written, involving so many lives, with time travel, mysteries, histories and then all the beautiful, emotional moments, is worthy of some sort of a lifetime achievement award. If I was one of the writers of the story, I would consider my life complete. I am that impressed. (although I would've preferred if the ending was actually about an alternate timeline rather than a purgatory, that doesn't change much.)

But in contrast, stand the reactions of the rest of the world. George R.R Martin joked about its ending, a lot of people really criticized the ending and called it a "cop out". Many people called the writing of the last season weak, while some even said that the whole shows script was just improvising on random ideas and the writing was clueless. And this is what saddens me. Have I not watched and read the same things as these critics have? Because it feels like their opinion comes from more experience. As if they have seen better shows, better films and read better books. It's a little sad, but also confusing. What works of art have I missed out on, even though my life seems to be headed in the direction of devotion to some of these forms of art? How am I gonna catch up in time?

These are the exact same things I felt after finishing Bioshock Infinite, which got criticized for "poor writing" as well by some. I mean, I guess my question is: How much better can you possibly do? What the hell is "good writing" then? Does it exist?

And if it does, I want suggestions (please). In any form: books, films, TV shows or even games. I wanna know what qualifies as good writing.

Because I love writing. I LOVE a good story. I think it's all I want in life as well. A good story. I want to write a good story, and I want to live a life that can be remembered as an amazing story.

Which is my worry #2: Will I ever have what it takes to create an amazing story? Do I have the ability? Or will I continue to be Lost exactly the way I am right now, wondering what "good writing" is supposed to be. Wondering what it is people have read and seen that gives them their perceptions about writing. It seems like a huge mountain I need to climb, and if I do end up learning anything, it'll take a pretty big revelation. Because I am currently quite confused.

But especially after watching the last episode of Lost today, I realized that this is a mountain I want to climb. And then meditate on it and be enlightened, of course. But climbing the mountain comes first. Struggle and indulge in worldly affairs like writing and then give it all up. Pretty crazy right? But I guess writing is what I hope to understand life though, before I... Move on (wink!)

The story that I'm writing is just about a boy who has lived in a monastery all his life (that's twenty years), and the things that he learns about life outside and among people as he and an elder student travel across the land - to reach another monastery that they need to deliver books/ scrolls to. I'm 80 pages through it, but all those things I described above really make me worried about my own efforts.

So yes, that was a pretty long blog, and thanks for reading through it all (if you did). I'm looking forward to some good replies. Try not to be too harsh though, I've bared my soul in the form of a blog after a long time ;)

Oh, and goodbye, Lost.