I'd actually love to read that. I have a couple of MTF transgendered friends, and normally I think nothing of it and never bring it up (not for any reason; I just don't see the need), but I've never been sure what questions would be "acceptable" should a thought pique my curiosity. Everyone's different, obviously, but a kind of baseline would be handy.

You look lovely. :)

@artelinarose: Just don't turn out to be like one of them Disney princesses. That's the best advice I could give you.

Please do this! It could help clear up a lot of confusion that's causing accidental offense in this thread.

EDIT: Actually, it should probably be done with the awareness that people probably will ask offensive questions. People can't help but be curious. Being transgender simply brings up a whole lot of questions in a society that is barely used to the concept of homosexuality, so not knowing how to approach some questions is inevitable.

Agreed. Your face is too pretty to explode into a million chunky bits.

If it's any consolation, I'm twenty two years old and I'm almost seven months on HRT, and I already look this good.

It isn't easy living with those feelings, I know... I can't imagine knowing for so long, though. I only figured it out in the last year and a half and it's been difficult with just that...

Congrats buddy! Sounds like everything is going well for you. I'm sure it will only get better.

Huh? I simply asked a question and even said for you to not answer if you didn't want too.

Out of anyone in this thread, I would say that I've had more interaction with a male to female transgender and I am totally supportive to anyone going through this.

So, if I offended you in any way by asking you this, I apologize.

Hello, I just wanted to say how beautiful this story of your journey is, and you as a person. It's fantastic that you are finding yourself, and thank you for sharing, I look forward to reading more.

I wish you well in your ongoing journey. =)

(Im glad this was my first proper post here)

:D

I second that. Not a lot of people know what's appropriate. Some people barely know trans folk exist outside of weird porn and drag shows. Clarification of how trans see sex vs. gender is needed. There's the biology of what a male and female is. That is binary in terms of the body, then there's gender. How those two relate really seem to confused people. Information on that isn't exactly widely distributed.

Transgenders sometimes get offended and just call people asking questions "stupid". Or maybe I'm reading bad sources.

I get transgenders have a lot of shitty things to deal with, but most people don't encounter or ever learn about transgenders. It's an extreme minority. So a lot of what you perceive to be dumb questions will be reoccurring for a long time. Educate your community whenever you get a chance like this to whatever level you're comfortable with.

Kudos! This is a perspective on transgender hormone therapy that I rarely read much about. Emotions going all batty and such as a result of the estrogen. .-.

You're not wrong, but it's also an issue of after a point you stop appreciating the questions you perceive as stupid(because there are soooo many unappreciated ones and whenever being trans comes up it's generally ALWAYS THE SAME ONES UGHHH) and just start to dismiss them immediately. But at the same time, not every trans person wants or even needs to be an ambassador for "their people" and expecting them to be is a little ridiculous. A common thing that I have noticed is that trans people are generally very willing to help others increase their understanding of issues we face. BUT, we are not encyclopedias to be poked and prodded at your convenience, we are human beings just the same as everyone else and I don't think it's entirely unreasonable to also put part of the onus on those who wish to learn. If it's something you're interested in educating yourself on, exercise a little autonomy. Strive to be the person I don't rant about. I promise I'll try to meet you halfway on that.

I apologize if I come off as abrasive or even aggressive in some of my responses. I tend to be a bit firm when I discuss issues like this. I promise I'm not attacking anybody, and that I usually don't mean anything by it beyond exerting a little pressure for emphasis. I've meant being a little rude twice in this thread. Try to find them!

While there is no doubt that many of the questions asked are bred from ignorance and not hate, it is not as if the information is inaccessible. From my experience of personally being trans and many of my friends both LGBT and otherwise, the questions that are "annoying" are not the legitimate ones seeking more insight into how we view gender, sexuality, etc. But moreso the questions which misgender, "not a real guy/girl", and those around the most basic of non-binary gender identity and pronoun usage which can be seen even with a cursory glace at a wiki article. (I'm not suggesting Wikipedia is an acceptable source for all things trans or lgbt, but the article on transgender would provide someone with at least a basic understanding of the concepts which they could later use to ask more specific and educated questions). Admittedly this probably applies to every topic in existence, since despite the ease of research being most likely less keystrokes than it takes to ask a question, that is indeed a rarity.

As an additional note, I would not use the term "transgenders". People who are transgendered (or genderqueer or anything else) are still people. Similarly I don't think you would want to refer to someone as "a gay". It is not an all-encompassing term for someone, it is an aspect of their overall personality. For example, I am a person who is trans, and gay, and likes books, etc.

I don't know how you arrived at the conclusion that "cis" is some sort of derogatory term for uh... non LGBT people? Cis is a term which, without getting to complex, refers to someone who's gender identity matches the biological sex they were born as. It is a term used by medical professionals and in much LGBT literature to distinguish between the concepts of cisgendered and transgendered. While certainly you see the term used as a negative connotation for people "oh those cis people...", it is certainly not a term which in and of itself conveys any sort of negative connotation even remotely approaching something like '<slur removed>, etc.

You can be LGBT and be cis.

@nyxfe: I'm referring to the fact that the only time I have ever heard the term 'cis' is by people saying something along the lines of 'Check your privilege you fucking cis scum'. I have really only ever seen it used as a derogatory term for 'gender normative'.

And I'm referring to the fact that it is an actual term used in medical fields and throughout academic works on the subject of sex and gender. As long as someone isn't using it in a clearly dismissive way there is nothing wrong with using the word to convey a point. Lina isn't saying "you cis morons might want to pay attention" so much as using in the sense of "cisgendered is a gender identity matching your biological sex"

A comparison might be "You drive like a woman" being a clearly sexist insult, but it does not detract from the term "woman" being utilized in conversation.

The stigma for the word cis is nothing new but it is simply a term that means "not transgendered". If anything, I would recommend people use it more to help eliminate the perception that it somehow has negative connotations.

Glad it is going so well for you. I would love to start hormones myself at some point as the results sound amazing.

@nyxfe: Sorry, I tend not to agree with your rationalization. There are numerous terms that started benign and simplistic and turned derogatory by their use. Negro is simply a word for 'black', but I doubt you would defend it's use.

As part of a gender change thing or just for the soft skin?

There is nothing derogatory about the word "cis."

Why would go through a hormone change if all I wanted was softer skin?

The problem with your rationalization of cis as a slur is that it comes from a position of complete ignorance of entire bodies of work on trans, LGBT, gender, and women's issues in both medical and social literature. Your basis for disliking the term seems to be based on tumblr image macros which people point to and decry so-called "radial social justice warriors" as if it's somehow actually indicative of the overall perception of the term.

To use your own example, the term "black" can carry seriously offensive connotations depending on it's context, yet you just used it. "That music is so black" "A guy robbed a store? I bet he was black." "Stop acting so black" are just a few quick examples of using that exact term in an offensive way. So is this term problematic? No, because it can be used in civil discourse with a technical meaning.

Again, cis only refers to gender identity matching your biological sex, so you can not accurately say that it is some sort of slur against "non-lgbt". Indeed even if it was a slur, it would be utilized only by trans people, who are an extreme minority. Conceptually it is not even feasible that such a tiny group could drive the definition of a term. The reason you have this perception, again, is due to your own ignorance of the subject. If you took every use of the term "cis" from 2014 you would likely find that it's use in legitimate texts on the subject of sex and gender to far outweigh the tiny amount it is used negatively on the internet.

While I appreciate the attempt at "N***** is just a word too" which you were clearly hinting at, the difference there would be an overwhelming majority using the term to enslave and dominate a minority of people who, are still to this day, largely perceived negatively because of it. Cis people are not opressed, they are the overwhelming majority.

The negative use of "cis" among trans culture is similar to the negative use of "white" among non-white culture who have been oppressed - it points to the oppressor and is understandable by others who have experienced similar oppression, creating solidarity. While I do not personally condone using the word as a catch-all for ignorant and anti-trans people, I do understand why it is used. That does not mean the word suddenly becomes a tool of oppression. You don't read a textbook on racial biology and get offended when they use the term white/Caucasian do you?

Honestly, if you wanted to more accurately represent hate of non-LGBT people, you may want to go with "cishet" (meaning cisgendered, hetero), MRA (men's rights advocate), or such. While "cishet" is technically just a shorthand, it's use is largely seen as a statement of "typical cishet people" the same way you might see "typical white people". In either case, what these words point to is not "all non trans/non gay people", they point to the ignorance or hate which is typically displayed by people in society who largely identify as straight and cisgendered.

The repeated and systematic violence and oppression of LGBT and trans people is what creates terms like these, which again, are largely used as in-jokes in their own community. To state that a technical word should not be used because you are not familiar with it in any other context is beyond comprehension.

You'd be surprised (or not) at what people will do for fashion (the first four paragraphs of the history of foundation on wikipedia will prove that . . . I need to go bleed myself and have a lovely dinner of chalk and iodine now...)

I believe you said you were 22? Correct me if I'm making that up. Males don't reach physical maturity till around 24. How do you assure you're manipulating your hormones safely? I assume there are doctors that specialize in this stuff.

ok, ok I give up, what the hell does cis stand for?

@nyxfe: You assume I am far too ignorant, which is a fucking dick thing to do. I completely understand that 'cisgender' is a medical term. 'Gay' originally meant happy, 'Queer' was originally short for 'gender queer' which preceded the term transgender. Yet they have been perverted by their use. You also do not have to be a 'minority' to have words that are used to attack your specific group. 'cracker' 'haole' etc... are used every day to describe white people. Does it matter if less than x% of the population uses something as a slur? it is still used as a slur.

My point to her was that if she wanted to come across as less aggressive, the term 'cis' is almost exclusively used in negative connotation on the internet.

This will be my last reply to you, I have no intention of derailing this thread further and you simply aren't very nice.

@drxlecter: Just because something is used in a negative way hardly makes said word a slur. Nyxfe explained that very well and was hardly mean.

Luxurious velvety skin is pretty awesome.... :3

a google search could have helped you

Cisgender. Somebody whose gender identity matches their biological sex.

I'm REALLY underselling it. I'm softer than every cis girl I know. It's a pretty common thing for trans women to be softer than cis women and hooooly shit am I soft.

Boobs are also great. Yes, my boobs are natural. No, they're not different. They're just boobs.

It's not as hard as you think it is, especially since part of the process is actually blocking the production of testosterone. You block T, slowly replace it with E. My doctor is FTM so I trust his judgement on a lot of this stuff, seeing as he deals with many MTF patients and has personal experience with at least the other side of the process... but endocrinologists are hormone doctors(though not JUST), and many people who transition see one for a more personalized transition.

I don't think I wrote anything all that aggressive. I'm not particularly sure how "gay" and "queer" have been perverted, but I suppose it speaks to a certain view of the people they describe.

The term cis is simply not used "almost exclusively in negative connotations" on the internet. If "the internet" was just tumblr and a few forum posts, perhaps, but feel free to continue ignoring the vast amount of lgbt/queer writing which utilizes it in a positive, legitimate, and educational way.

I use the term ignorant not because it's an assumption but because it is a fact made evident by your statements. If you were well versed in LGBT discourse, you would not be suggesting someone stay away from the term cis for risk of somehow offending people who can't do a 2-second google search or read a dictionary.

I'm sorry you feel I've derailed this thread on sex and gender diversity with my discussion and explanation of sex and gender diversity.

So am I wrong to assume that cis is just a term derived from organic chemistry, and more specifically the relationship between cis and trans molecular bonds? Because that was my point of reference and initial assumption, haha. Anyway, people in this thread should stop arguing about the terms.

Nice blog.

I get that some of you might not know how to approach or ask questions but c'mon people you're also on the internet typing these questions. Taking 5 minutes to google things like what "cis" means would go a long way to diffusing some of the tension. That being said this whole thread has been mostly surprisingly positive.

Cis in chemistry is just derived from the Latin meaning of on the same side, or something to that effect. But yeah as a biologist who has zero exposure to these kinds of gender issues, it's kinda weird hearing it used in anything except chemical and molecular conformations.

@demoskinos: I didn't even know "cis" was a word before I read the stuff those arguing people were saying!

Where? I've seen the term "cis" used a lot when this sort of topic comes up, but not really offensively? Or maybe I just don't take offense when it's used, I dunno.

Either way, I just want to note that there's a difference between a slur being thrown at me, a straight dude, and a slur being thrown at a gay transgender person. There are no large groups of people in significant positions of power that senselessly hate the fact that I'm straight and male. Probably why I've never felt like the term was used offensively, it just doesn't have any effect.

Nyx did a really really good job of explaining things without coming off as a jerk. Should listen to her.

If you come in and try to tell two trans women that they are using their community's language wrong and they don't know what they're talking about, surprise! You are exactly the kind of person they are talking about when they say "fucking cis people" because in this context, it means "those who are famously ignorant of gender minority issues and don't bother recognizing it."

It took me until this thread to finally look up the proper meaning of cis and it's really not an insult, though I can totally see how it can be used that way if the cis people in question are being dicks.

Speaking in terms of language, it's kind of interesting that such a small group of people got to be responsible for creating all of these words, when normally it's widespread usage (being a tool for communication and all). It makes for some very specific terminology that probably wouldn't exist the same way if it had evolved from the general populous. Sort of like trucker talk.

Is this as horrible as you made it sound?

I forgot to point out that "female, male, or a trans?" is bad because it stems from the thought process that transwomen and transmen are not what they identify as. Transmen are men, transwomen are women. They're not "a trans."

May have already pointed it out, but I'll do it again for emphasis just in case: a few of these questions stem from the thought process "lina is a boy" which is incorrect. I was born male bodied, yes, but I identify as female, express as female, ergo, I am female. What I was born as does not define who I am; who I am defines what I am. That sentence might make zero sense to anyone not educated on this sort of thing, but I promise, on the other side of this knowledge hole, it will.

It can be difficult for those not accustomed to this sort of thing to wrap their heads around the concept of sex, gender identity, gender expression and sexuality all being completely separate from one another, but once you do, I think you will be a little surprised with how much the world opens up to your newfound understanding.

Also here. Drag shows have next to nothing to do with transgender women. Common mistake, but no less important to address.

As someone that has appeared in drag in multiple theatrical productions (not drag shows), I can confirm this is true.

@hunter5024 said:

They actually stem from chemistry. I don't agree with use of cis and trans in the context of gender, mainly because those are straight up chemistry terms and don't apply very well to biological sex and selfperceived gender. No foul intented lina, using cis outside of chemistry feels weird.

Congrats on feeling better. I don't know much about getting Hormonal Replacement Therapy outside of women having ovarian cancer, men with testicular cancer, Kallmann or Sheehan syndrome. Who do you go to in such a case...it can't be your GP, can it?

They actually actually stem from Latin, where cis- is a prefix referring to "on this side of..." in contrast to the prefix trans- "on the other side of" (see: transatlantic, transformation, etc). Both prefixes are also used in chemistry and genetics. You wouldn't argue that homosexual and heterosexual shouldn't be used in the context of sex and gender because "homogeneous and heterogeneous mixtures exist in chemistry", both stem from the Greek ἕτερος [heteros], "other, different" and ὁμός [homos], "same".

I know my latin. I meant to say, -cis or -trans prefix doesn't say much, since in chemistry it only says about two opposing sides, I imagine sex and gender are more complicated than just two sides. It also implies segregation, which there needs none of. If people continue to speak in terms of transgender (and cisgender) like they're two complete alien groups of people, it becomes artificial grouping of people while I imagine all they want is acceptance.

I'm happy you're happy!

These terms do not imply segregation nor are they an artificial grouping of people. Fact is we are different groups of people and ignoring that does nothing to solve the massive issue of inequity trans people face. It would erase us. Trust me, not knowing it is possible someone like you can exist sucks to put it mildly.