Holy shit! Isn't that the amount used for giving blood?

@video_game_king: l have never donated blood so I cannot say for certain, but they said the normal amount taken for lab work is an average of four vials. I have to give them blood every month; it is just part of my life now.

That is truly inspiring! Even just superficially, realizing who you are and through action make it a reality is admirable in and of itself. More people should do that in general, and I know there are aspects of me and my life I wish I had the strength of determination to change no matter the cost. I am happy for you and hope you'll continue your journey and improve the other parts of your life as well (such as those questionable "friends"). Best of luck to you out there, hope it all turns awesome.

@artelinarose:

From what I remember, it's a lot of vials for giving blood. You just sit there for ten minutes while you feel a needle in your body. It's all kinds of unpleasant, and I wouldn't recommend it.

I remember the first time I donated blood the attendant who was probably a teen right out of high school forgot to tell me I should probably sit down for a little bit and not to walk around right after. Next thing I remember was sitting face first on the cement pavement next to my car, a good samaritan was kind enough to call some EMT's over. Was okay but still, fuck...

Impressive. It's always nice to hear about someone who has the courage to be who they want to be, and take any necessary actions to do so. Best of luck to you and your endeavours.

@i_stay_puft:

Fortunately, that didn't happen to me when I did it. All I got was the feeling of having your blood drawn for about ten minutes.

jesus they sound like the worst. Don't be around people like if you can do anything at all to avoid it. They don't sound like friends they sound like assholes. No one deserves to be treated like that and no one should be expected to put up with it.

@artelinarose: Hope it goes well for you and props to you for dong what you feel you need to do to be happy.

I'm probably making it out to be worse than it is. I live with six people(!?) with a seventh on the weekends. One of them treats me like garbage and bullies me, saying everything around the house is my fault and I need to clean up after myself when it's actually his mess, etc, and one is just a rude individual that says really mean stuff with the intention to hurt and then just plays it off as "I was just kidding so you aren't allowed to be upset at me that's your fault." I put up with that last one for too long, I think. The point where I was tired of his crap was when a girl we both know called me at 2 in the morning crying, asking to be comforted because he had spent an hour just talking down to her to make her cry and then texted her like nothing was wrong. Homie don't play that. It's just rude!

but gosh wow um im really embarrassed and flattered so many people are wishing me well aaaa

It's awesome to hear you're still striving forward. I've had friends go through a similar process and it's really nice when the intense worry and doubt is able to be etched away bit by bit. Good luck to you in the future, and I know this is a really nebulous thing to say but if things ever feel super dark again don't hesitate to send me a message. Sometimes it's just nice to know somebody is willing to listen.

Oh! And in case you missed it over the last few months, I made some GiantBomb Animations. A good few members of the community have expressed to me that these videos cheered them up, so here you go:

Enjoy Your Massage

A Real Man's Drink

I have thought about doing that but I wonder if there's any way to really make it interesting... a lot of it seems like it would just end up being "today my boobs hurt a whole lot while growing in and i cried for no reason like six times the end thats all i have to say"

@artelinarose:

:D

There is no greater way to express my happiness than a Brad Muir™ colon capital d.

edit: wait, did I just trademark Brad Muir? I should trademark the colon capital d, shouldn't I? Fuck it I ain't fixin it.

I hope things go well for you, and other than recommending that you probably remove yourself from people who make you unhappy, I am incapable of offering any advice or insight.

I know you were probably joking, but you're not broken. You are who you are. Never apologize for being yourself.

On a more upbeat note, it's pretty awesome that you have the courage to go through with something so important to you.

A thousand mile journey begins with a single step. It sounds like you have a number of problems in your life and have taken some steps to address them. I hope you will continue to see a therapist. It's nice to have a neutral party in your life to talk about things important to you. It will take time to try and distill down the root causes of your depression and anxiety and how you can best manage them. Try to be patient with it and remember that you are taking steps in the right direction.

If you have the interest in blogging about your journey further, I would be more than willing to read it. It seems as though I am not the only one. Regardless, best of luck with your new direction in life.

You know what? Science is fucking cool.

Seems like you're in a real toxic environment, but if you're doing this I suppose you've already well started overcoming their bullshit?

Not that a day like that will be awesome to experience, but to be honest, that actually sounds like an interesting blog post. The fact is, even if not every single post is eloquent or compelling, the complete story is certainly quite personal and worth reading. It's up to you. I know I rarely felt like writing about my struggles years ago while it was happening, but I kind of wish I had. Having people share in it seems like it could help, and it'd probably benefit everyone involved. I think it could be cool. :)

(And I am pleased as a peach that so many have come to encourage you and wish you well in all of this. We're certainly rooting for you!)

Plus, it's not like you'll have to make a new thread for each update. Just bump this thread if you feel the need to vent or whatever. Or don't, if you would prefer not to. I'm sure a lot of what you'll be going through will be pretty personal, so don't feel the need to share anything if you don't feel like it will help you.

Hmm. Now you've got me wanting to go in and see what my levels are. I'm fairly certain it'll just say, "you're excruciatingly normal, go away, dork." but I like knowing numbers for things. They're my character stats. :D

I would totally read a blog of your adventure. Good luck, stay positive!

Yeah, maybe... or monthly updates or something. I've thought about it. Someone asked me to keep a picture record of my transition...

Awesome! Good luck!

Yeah, picture records are always interesting, and they give you a nice perspective on the whole thing. They also can help when it feels like things haven't changed much, and then you can look back and really see the difference. It's certainly something to keep in mind. But do whatever you feel comfortable with. :)

You are a brave lady. Best of luck in your transition, keep us posted!

And hey, if you need someone, I'm here for you. I've been through loneliness and depression too, and it always hurts to see other people go through it.