Another Arbitrary Accolades List: 2015 Edition

The second in a soon-to-be-determined amount of lists pertaining to the video games I consumed in the year Twenty and Fifteen. Here is the first.

I played a lot of games this year. Some of them shared similar themes, characters and tropes and I thought it would be funny to point out these similarities while also celebrating them in a familiar end-of-the-year list manner.

Please note this list will primarily deal with games that I played/finished this year and not exclusively games that came out in 2015. You can find a list of said games here.

Also, spoilers. Probably.

This list was a lot funnier in my head.

List items

  • THE AWARD: The 'December 23rd, 2015 Was The Date Marty McFly Traveled To In 'Back To The Future Part II'' Award For Use Of Time Travel In A Video Game.

    THE CONTENDERS: Life Is Strange, Super Time Force, Final Fantasy XII-2, D4: Dark Dreams Don't Die, Evoland 2, GrimGrimoire, Axiom Verge, The Talos Principle (?)

    THE WINNER: Everybody wins!

    THE REASONING: If you take another look at the title for this award, you'll see that the award is not for best use of time travel but simply use of time travel. All of the games mentioned previously all feature time travel in some way so they all win! Congratulations to video games!

  • THE AWARD: Best Use Of Oda Nobunaga

    THE CONTENDERS: Pokemon Conquest, Sakura Wars: So Long, My Love

    THE WINNER: Sakura Wars

    THE REASONING: While Pokemon Conquest features a historically accurate depiction of the Japanese warlord, Sakura Wars employs the rarely encountered Secret-Nobunaga. He is never mentioned or alluded to until minutes before one of his followers resurrects him from a demon blade being held in a museum in New York. Nobunaga is also some kind of ancient evil in Sakura Wars which sounds like pretty good use of his name and likeness if you ask me.

  • THE AWARD: Meow Could This Be?! NyAn Award For Best Cat Girl?!

    THE CONTENDERS: Chocola, Vanilla, Maple, Cinnamon, Coconut and Azuki (Nekopara Vol. 0 and 1), Amanda (D4: Dark Dreams Don't Die), Momo (HuniePop)

    THE WINNER: Amanda

    THE REASONING: Amanda's cattiness manifests in her mannerisms rather than a simple addition of cat ears and a tail. Her style of dress also evokes the feline essence in a subtle manner. Also almost every other catgirl nominated here kind of sucks.

  • THE AWARD: Best Geometric Shape With A Lead Role In A Video Game

    THE CONTENDERS: Circle (Peggle), Orb (Wizorb), Isosceles Triangle (Nuclear Throne)

    THE WINNER: Isosceles Traingle

    THE REASONING: Triangles have angles (three of them!) and are a reliable, sturdy and trustworthy shape. The tri-force is an iconic symbol from the Legend of Zelda that is just 4 triangles. There's a reason pizza slices are triangles. The triangle in Nuclear Throne is named YV (Yung Venus) whose name kind of looks like two triangles. YV is a GUN GOD. He is not verified on twitter. Please #verifyvenuz.

  • THE AWARD: Guilty Gear Character I Would Like To See The Most In A New Entry To The Series In A Playable Form/Best Accent(s)

    THE CONTENDERS: Borederlands: The Pre-Sequel! (Australian), Not A Hero (Various), Zappa (Guilty Gear Character).

    THE WINNERS: Not A Hero, Zappa

    THE REASONING: Not A Hero has several accents in it that are all pretty great. They're all different flavors of English, Irish and Scottish (and maybe a few others I could be forgetting) accents. They should put Zappa in Xrd. He's got all those ghosts possessing him that'd look pretty sick in 3D. Like that ghost dog, you remember the ghost dog? And the giant lightning man? And the bloody razor-blade sword?

  • THE AWARD: Best Bud, Pal, Partner or Chum.

    THE CONTENDERS: D-Squad/Quiet (Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain), Turing (Read Only Memories), B.U.D. (Grow Home), Duckbridge (Luckslinger)

    THE WINNER: D-Squad/Quiet

    THE REASONING: No one could have guessed that tactical stealth action of the Metal Gear Franchise would get better with the addition of diverse and lovable sidekicks. I could write many, many praises about the various aspects of The Phantom Pains buddies but only one example should suffice. I am of course speaking of Quiet, the sniper who will provide positive reinforcement at a moments notice in the form of a friendly "thumbs up" gesture. A shining example of camaraderie! Bravo Quiet! Bravo!

  • THE AWARD: Best Guns

    THE CONTENDERS: Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain, Nuclear Throne, Downwell, Assault Android Cactus

    THE WINNER: Downwell

    THE REASONING: Much like the beloved Power Glove, Downwell puts the power of firing guns and other projectile weapons straight into the soles of your feet. A feat that I have not witnessed since Bayonetta did it back in aught 10. I hope more games take cues from Downwell and put guns into places we never though possible to put them before.

  • THE AWARD: Best Combination Of Words That Are Also The Names Of Video Game Characters

    THE CONTENDERS: Margarita Surprise (GrimGrimoire), Hot Coldman (Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker) Venom "Punished" Snake, Revolver "Shalashaska" Ocelot (Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain)

    THE WINNER: Maragarita Surprise

    THE REASONING: Just say 'Maragarita Surprise' out loud. Do it a couple of times and if you don't understand why she won then I just don't know what to tell you.

  • THE AWARD: Best Playable Character With A Horn Or Horn-like Object Affixed To Said Playable Character's Head

    THE CONTENDERS: Venom Snake (Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain), Peanut (Assault Android Cactus)

    THE WINNER: Peanut

    THE REASONING: This one's a no brainer! For starters, Peanut has two horns while Snake only has one. Yes, one of her horns is broken but her unbroken horn is real long and has a light on top of it. I don't see any colored lights gleaming off of Snake's "horns". Do you?!

  • THE AWARD: Best Protagonist That Is Already A Demon

    THE CONTENDERS: Venom Snake (Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain), Menos (Evoland 2)

    THE WINNER: Menos

    THE REASONING: Again, not even a contest. Venom Snake tell Kaz he's a demon but he clearly isn't! Not literally anyway. Menos, on the other hand, is a literal demon, a prince and a time traveler. Venom Snake isn't any of those things.