E3 2019: Nonspecific Corporation won videogame fan show!

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It’s E3 season babyeeee, time to dust off the old blawg with some of my award winning takes. Award winning in my mind and takes if you want to call them that. I’m not here to make them hot, I’m just here to have them. Look, I try not to be a cynical fuck about E3 every year. Not everyone on this planet wants to do that. We’re here because we enjoy this time, we want to see new and exciting things. I have no interest in slagging a developer or publisher just for the sake of doing it. That being said, US! The people who play games! We are the true winners of E3 every year!

PRE PRE E3

"So then I said, Weed 3 am I right girls?!"

Before anything really began, Google showed off some Stadia news that still makes me wonder if this is a product that only exists in their Silicon Valley bubble. I’m sure the future is streaming yadda yadda... But come on the rest of the world, let alone country, is probably not up to speed with the Google hive.

That being said, the most exciting thing they did was announce Baldur’s Gate III. So really that’s all you need to know about Stadia, a PC game that you don’t need to play on their service.

This thing is, I need to see it to believe it. Like, see it on a wide range of internet speeds before I can determine whether or not it would be worth anyone’s time, or their data cap. It really do be like that.

Then the next day, Electronic Arts hired Greg Miller to shout at everything very early in the morning! Announcing one new game (A STAR WARS GAME, with that guy that played the Joker on Gotham) and ongoing support for their other titles. So yes, I’m happy to announce TODAY that I will still be playing Battlefield V for the foreseeable future.

(and get that Sims 4 expansion pack when it goes on sale.)

PRE E3

The REAL Pre-E3 started on Sunday with Microsoft in the front cutting to the chase with games, Game pass and a tease of their next console. Most of my Microsoft brand gaming is on the PC so as long as they mention it was coming to that as well, I was pleased.

Perhaps the most surprising is the NA release of Phantasy Star Online 2 (sometime next year). But I guess most people were floored by Keanu Reeves who was just happy to be there. One person was lucky enough to get a copy of Cyberpunk for free just for yelling at him. I can think of at least 10 people I would love to yell at if it meant I was getting something in return.

Fixing it in real time.
Fixing it in real time.

Later on Bethesda came out on stage humble and with a sense of humour about Fallout 76, announcing new content for it, as well as Elder Scrolls stuff and things. The showing off of all their new Shooty games, like Doom and Wolfenstein. Plus a spoooky game (gameplay yet to be seen but impressions are interesting). Trailers are great, but gameplay videos would be EVEN BETTER. Thanks in advance next E3.

I know where my heart is on this one, I play a fair amount of FO76 when I can, and it’s roadmap of content is still exciting to me and I love what I have to look forward to.

Also yeah, that’s not what I would have done with the next Commander Keen game.

The following day I paid attention to Ubisoft and Squenix. I don’t really know what to say is exciting about Ubisoft, there’s an awful lot of Tom Clancy going on in that company, but I guess it works for them.

Watch_Dogs AnonSec on the other hand, I want to like. The first game was a bit of a slog but the sequel magically turned it around for me. I don’t want the series to go back to being up it’s own ass, but it looks like it might be really far up there this time.

Look! There she is!
Look! There she is!

Square Enix on the other hand started the show with a show stopper and then eventually added another show stopper. Okay sure, I like Final Fantasy 7 just as much as the next person, but you know Tifa is going to be in the game! It would be nice to start seeing this remake beyond the first couple of hours cause we’re all still under the impression that it’s episodic even though they said it’s 2 bluerays big. Aside from other announcements they finally showed off that Avengers game which sure looks like a game. That’s for sure! Surely!

Continue to read this blog for a *SUPER SECRET SENTENCE*.

THE START OF E3

Then the Start of E3 began with Nintendo, the company did not waste any time in showing off game after game after game. Some new, some ports. Some major surprises! Seeing the brand new ‘Trials of Mana’ for the switch is great (as a long time Mana fan) but revealing that it’s actually a remake of Seiken Densetsu 3 which is part of a collection that was released TODAY in NA is even better.

Also, HELLO I see you all there in the colosseum of social media websites ready to say your theories of what the sequel to Breath of the Wild could possibly be, I stand before you with my head held high and my thumb in the air to shout, “I’VE SEEN THE TEASER MULTIPLE TIMES ALREADY! LET THE ZELDA SPECULATION COMMENCE!”

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For the rest of this blog, I just wanted to jot down some bullet points for things I wanted to say here and there that caught my interest:

  • It seemed like this was an E3 that really wanted to bring personalities on stage that would get people uncomfortably excited. But boy howdy, that dog on the Ubisoft stage is very well trained.
  • Every once in a while I still think back to 1313 and how much I would have wanted that game. Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order feels like that with a little metal gear assistant.
  • Apex Legends Season 2 news is great and it’s still not going to make me better at that game.
  • I’ve never been particularly excited about Battletoads passed ‘being a small child’ but that’s definitely the least offensive art style they gave that game.
  • Bleeding Edge looks like they took Battleborn’s assets and made a better game. (I know I know, I’ve made that same joke somewhere else.)
  • I never would have imagined to be happy to see Flight Simulator again, fingers crossed for a new Midtown Madness!
  • Banjo in Smash is cool, but Dragon Warrior Hero is a confirmed rumour from a long time coming. Just another sword guy though so I don’t know how to feel.
  • Okay Elden Ring, I’m sure it’ll be great but fuck I’d be bummed if From Software can’t dig themselves out of their Dark Souls hole.
  • Two things having Terminator stuff in them for shits and giggles is kind of two things too many.
  • Age of Empires II gets its second remaster and all I want is for them to make an ENTIRELY NEW ONE.
  • GearsPOP is evidence that there’s always a market for something.
  • Minecraft Dungeons is a good way to slowly introduce your children to Diablo.
  • How is Bambi 2--Sorry, I mean Way to the Woods not the most endearing video game you’ll want to play immediately?!
  • THE LAST REMNANT IS ON THE SWITCH BITCHES! If you go to the Switch’s eshop it calls the game a CULT CLASSIC and that’s really all you need to know.
  • *Final Fantasy 8 is remastered and it looks really GOOD!* Arguably the best game of the three PS titles.
  • Any video game Dragon Ball related is basically the equivalent of buying Madden every year.
  • People seem to be surprised that there’s only a Wii version of Just Dance 2020, when they don’t understand that the Wii U plays Wii games, and you’ll need the Wiimote anyway.
  • Also I laugh at RE5 and 6 coming to the switch but I know I’m going to end up buying one of those two.

That’s it! That’s my E3 impressions this year, and there was a heck of a lot for me to be excited about, even if some of those things happened to be ports on the switch. Surprising amount of things to look forward to later this year even though plenty of these titles are still a year away, some even longer.

I really do enjoy this time of the year.

Your pal,

Bonbolapti.

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