Top 10 Characters that look like Pedophiles

To become a pedophile requires a twisted and warped psyche, but to look like one, all you need is some bad genes and bad fashion. Spotting someone who looks like a pedophile is almost instinctual, triggering a subconscious molest-dar to go off in our heads whenever we see the right combination of clothes, mustaches, and creepy smiles on middle-aged men. The video game world is no different, so I present here my list of those video game characters who most physically resemble sexual predators. If there was a video game equivalent of To Catch a Predator, expect Chris Hanson to be not far behind any of these fellows.

List items

  • Let's just look at the facts:

    -Has the creepy, balding hair/molestache combo.

    -Wears a white trench coat. (you can call that a lab coat if you want, but don't come to me when you find him mega busting your mega man)

    -His name is a euphemism for his penis.

  • Look at that smile! And that hair! And that outfit! Don't let your Pokemon trainer get trapped in this mime's box, because the emotional scarring will last much longer than any status ailment.

  • The mustache, creepy smile, and skin-tight leather make Dr. Robotnik a dead giveaway (see a pattern now?). No non-perverted individual grins like he does, it's just not natural.

  • I don't know what you ask a barber in order to get a cut like that except possibly, "I like diddling kids, is there a way you can channel that into my hair?"

    Not only does King Moron (R.I.P.) look perverted, his is a case where just listening to him talk seals the deal. Thank the P4 Endurance Run for that.

  • The prominence of a phallic head and a phallic... phallus on this colorful, alcoholic King make for a clear warning that you don't want your Prince anywhere near his Rainbow Road.

  • Fathers and Mothers, lock up your sons (your daughters are safe) Tingle's in town! This man needs no introduction, but if you find him teaching your middle-school gym class, I recommend you call in sick.

  • Now the following two characters prove the point that the evil version of any good character inevitably looks like a pedophile. I give Waluigi the nod ahead of Wario, just because his lanky stature and the way he twiddles his mustache scream perverted freak.

  • "Breaking News: huge collection of underage WarioWare D.I.Y. microgames found at house of Wario Mario following FBI raid"

  • It's a classic tale really: A middle-aged Cop with a handlebar mustache and narrow eyes uses his power to operate illegal child porn ring above the law. And he would have gotten away with it too, if wasn't for that damn coffee giving away his secrets.

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