Ranking of Zeldas

This is definitive and unarguable, and includes only ones i have played because if i havent played it its obviously not worthy of ranking (or i did not get around to it)

List items

  • Sword Beams Are Back Babey. simply the best. bethesda wishes they could come up with a post-apocalyptic world half as good as this game's. like fuckin whole cities are still totally fine and growing a whole century after the Fucking Apocalypse because life goes on. just the right amount of nostalgia mixed in with genuinely, exceptionally good writing and probably the best music in the series which is really fuckin saying something. weapon degredation actually creates consequences for when you're fucking around and you can have 30 fucking hearts. see that mountain? you can climb it. eat my ass todd howard, the Champion of Hyrule is flying at you at mach 3 because he hit a log with a hammer. i could go on for years about this game it's so FUCKING good

  • the best 2d zelda game and probably one of the best games on the Super Nintendo. i was confused by it when i was a tiny child but have come to appreciate it as a Literal Masterpiece and even though turtle rock Sucks Shit the dungeon design is tight af and the items are super cool. a cane that drops a block that shoots beams. an invisibility cape.

  • did you like a link to the past? do you want more of it? what if we did some cool shit with the items? links hair shoulda been pink tho.

  • because i am being Objective: the dungeons in this game are pretty good and the grappling hook is a cool addition. it looks fuckin great even 15 years later and the music is bomb. the wind waker fucking sucks and the game didn't get finished so it can't be in the top 3. if i wasnt using Science i would put it below skyward sword but i can already hear people having aneurysms from me even thinking that so i'll avoid comments about the triforce hunt.

  • its better than ocarina because it does cool shit, but the n64 is an ugly ass console and that drags it down. would be lower but it gave us Tingle and therefore is the single greatest innovation in the series.

  • listen: motion controls are bad and i hate them except for this game because i'm the one person on earth who never had an issue with them. the dungeons arent great and the world isnt as vibrant as it could be but it's the first zelda game where it felt like there was real-ass character development and where link didn't feel like a fuckin stump moving around and swinging a sword because you could actually choose dialog options

    groose is a great character for serious and that alone makes up for like 90% of this games flaws

  • this game is a foundation for everything that came after it. it is also an early nintendo 64 game so it looks rough, and other games just straight up improved on shit. it is a proud mother holding up its babies for the world to see

  • this is criminally out of place but honestly i never played it until pretty late and i kept getting lost looking for one dungeon

  • absolute trash. boring. bad to look at. you turn into a dog and can hold cats and its this far down. unbelievable