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Choffy

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I saw a man push his girlfriend yesterday

... and I can't stop thinking about it. Not just from seeing the act itself, but because I feel I should have done more.

I was at the Arizona Cardinals game yesterday, and before the game my group and I were sitting outside the stadium at some tables, watching the morning football games. My friends leave to go to the bathroom before we go inside, and I see a young woman around my age (early to mid-twenties) yelling with her boyfriend while walking. I couldn't hear what they were saying, but she then grabbed and tossed his sunglasses on the ground, and he threw her to the ground for it. Hard. And she started crying.

I was sitting by myself and might have been the only person who saw the whole thing. I didn't know what to do. Not too long after, some people come up to her to make sure she's ok, but they clearly didn't see the abuse and don't confront the boyfriend who walked a bit away and had his hands on his head, clearly regretting what he did. But he still did it. She said she was fine and got up, still sobbing. She briskly walked to my table and through tears asked if she could sit there. I said "of course. Are you ok?" and she shook her head yes. 10 seconds after she sits down my group of friends came walking back up, motioned to go inside to the game and I left with them.

I told my friends about the situation while we were walking to our seats, and they all tried to convince me there wasn't much more I could have done other than asking if she was okay. But I feel terrible about it all, even 24 hours later. I should have done more. I feel I should have gotten up and confronted her boyfriend. I feel I should have helped her up, and asked if she was ok when she was alone crying on the ground. I feel I should have stuck around with her at the table. I feel I should gotten her out of the situation somehow, and made sure she was okay and not just leaving her alone at the table. I should have done more.

It feels good to get this off my chest since it really disturbed me. Next time I won't just stand by and let those things happen to a poor young woman. But that's if there is a next time. Why didn't I do that this time?

I should have done more.

UPDATE: To those saying it could have resulted in a violence, he could have been carrying a weapon, etc., we were just outside the stadium and past security. He would have somehow been able to sneak a weapon into the stadium past metal detectors. Also, by "confronting" I simply mean helping her up and telling her boyfriend that his actions weren't okay. Not yelling or getting in his face or anything, but you never know how that can turn out.

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Open Letter to Ryan Davis

Dear Ryan,

You don't know me, but I certainly know you.

To you, I was one of the 3,098 followers on your fantastic Spotify playlist. One of your 37,000 Twitter followers. One of the 192,000 profiles on the site you helped create, Giant Bomb. But to me, you were my friend.

Since 2007, when I was 14-years-old, I have heard you talk to me each and every week. Whether it was The Hotspot, the Bombcast, Whiskey Media Happy Hour, TNT, a Quick Look, Unprofessional Friday's, or some other random broadcast, seeing you and the rest of the crew has been one of the constants in my life in high school and college. In fact, you and your best friend, Jeff Gerstmann, were the reasons I initially applied to and attended the journalism program at my college. I wanted to write for Giant Bomb, and even though that dream slowly died and I decided to switch to PR, I was still anxious to meet you via an industry event and shake your hand, and tell you how big of a fan of yours I was.

You were the second Twitter account I followed, right after Jeff. On there, I rarely replied to you on, but the two times you replied to me, I felt cool. And while I never got to talk to you face-to-face, I'll always remember talking to you during Rorie's movie trivia segment on the 07/15/11 Happy Hour (even if I did never get the poster I won, though that's on Rorie, not you).

A few days ago, I was tabbing through the pictures Norman Chan posted from your wedding last Saturday to your beautiful wife, Anna. The complete and utter joy on your face said it all: you were so incredibly happy to be marrying the love of your life with your closest friends and family around to witness it. Even though I wasn't apart of the ceremony, and you didn't know me, it made me happy to see one of my friends full of so much joy.

This morning, when I awoke to the news of your passing, I was stunned. I tried to fight back the tears this morning, but lost the battle this afternoon. And while I was crying during Harmonix's tribute to your joyous life, I was laughing at the same time.

Everyone in the gaming community is deeply saddened by your sudden passing, but I know it's not the last time your presence will make us all laugh. Your spirit will live on for years in this community, and you will not be forgotten.

Thank you for the amazing memories, and I'll see you in another life, brother.

Sincerely,

Ben Tolmachoff

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