I am the anime, koo koo kachoo

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2.9 stars

Average score of 9 user reviews

Mindjack? More like [naughty pun]! 0

My mind is full of fuck. I'm sorry, I was planning to do an audio version of this review to convey my rage at this game, but because my mic decided to crap out and I didn't want to use my shitty laptop mic for this one, you're getting the wall of text. So the few of you who actually have the patience to read? Read on.  [Oooh, I just thought of a clever title! " Mindjack? More like MindJack-off!" Yeah! I wonder if I'm allowed to put that in the title of this review?]----------------Anyone remembe...

4 out of 4 found this review helpful.

Damn This Game To Hell! 0

Note: The following was written last year on another site, shortly after the game was released. But after filling out some information to complete the task on this wiki entry, I felt the need to paste it here anyway. Enjoy. --------------------------------------  Let me start off with this blurb about the game I found at GameRankings: "Evolving the shooter genre with its unique and exhilarating combination of fluid action and combat, Damnation will feature huge, open environments, frenetic co...

0 out of 0 found this review helpful.

If a remake appears on the shelves, does it make a sound? 0

The first Dead to Rights was a guilty pleasure for me when I played a version of it on the Gamecube. The second Dead to Rights I did not play, because I did not have a PS2 at the time. In both cases, you pretty much knew what you were getting from the start: a stupid action game that nonetheless had several different ways to kill various mooks, using everything from special kung-fu disarming moves to easily-abused bullet ti--err..."Adrenaline Mode." Dead to Rights was a fun but ultimately forget...

3 out of 3 found this review helpful.

Short but Sweet 0

It was about the time that I felt the pistol at the back of my head, a classic FN Five-seveN judging by the the barrel. How was I able to discover the gun just by feeling the barrel at the back of my head? Look, there are only about three different pistols in this game that have silencers, two are useful later in the game, and one of them was made for the Russian army.  "You think you can just get away with judging this game less than perfect?" The man flicked the safety on and off for emphasis....

1 out of 2 found this review helpful.

Rubi, baby, why you gotta make me hurt you? 0

I thought we had a good thing going, baby. I was blown away by the demo when you first showed up in the game WET. Okay, the swordplay was a little clunky, but I dug how you flew through the air and glided across the ground, shooting everything in your path. I loved that rockin' soundtrack containing everything from The Arkhams to The Notorious MSG. And I just absolutely loved the highway chase sequence that had you jumping from car to car, gunning down anyone foolish enough to stand in your path...

1 out of 2 found this review helpful.

Exceptional Online, Charmless Offline 0

Looking at the cover of this game (for any system), you would be forgiven if you thought that this game had nothing to do with the original. From the perspective of the single-player story, you're mostly right. All the charm and the humor they put into the first game is gone. Yes, the characters have the same voice actors, but the characterizations have all gotten turned around.  Sweetwater was transformed from a meek geek in way over his head into an all-American patriotic soldier. Haggard was ...

3 out of 4 found this review helpful.

Solid Title With a Few Flaws 0

When Jade Empire fell below $5 during the rush of holiday sales on Steam, I decided to pick it up and play through it, considering I never did get around to playing it before. All I really heard about it up to that point was that it was an RPG by Bioware, with real-time kung-fu fighting and a story loosely derived from Chinese mythology. So I played through the first few hours, and I got hooked.  The story starts out like one from a classic kung-fu flick: you are an orphan being raised by a kind...

2 out of 2 found this review helpful.

From Tom Clancy to Michael Bay 0

I honestly don't know why they keep the Rainbow Six name around, considering that Rogue Spear (the first game in the series I played, and liked) actually emphasized things like realistic teamwork and tactics. I assumed that there would be some semblance of those things in R6V2, but after the first level, you almost never find them again. Sure, you have the option to use things like thermal vision, smoke grenades, and attaching silencers to your weapons, but they don't really provide you with a t...

0 out of 1 found this review helpful.

Like Gears from the Bargain Bin 2

How many people remember Dark Sector? Anyone? No? Well, I'm not surprised. The game had been in development ever since 2000, originally going to be a title about some space marine doing something in space, and after a few changes it eventually came out in early 2008 as "Rogue CIA agent kills people in generic-Soviet-breakaway-republic-istan, with zombies and a cool bladed weapon." Because all of the good games were either not out yet, or checked out by others, this was one of the few games left ...

0 out of 0 found this review helpful.