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dualityofman

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On insult swordfighting, famous Brits, and The Fresh Prince

Anybody remember Monkey Island? Of course you do.  Well, the concept of using insults in fighting must be resurrected, preferably in the most inappropriate ways possible.  I have some ideas.

  • NHL '10 - Duh, anything could be better than the fighting in a hockey game
  • Dante's Inferno - It's pretty hard to make it further from the original work.  So you might as well make it even more ridiculous.  And take insults straight from Monkey Island while you're at it
  • Call of Duty - Oh dear god that would be so awesomely bad
  • Assassin's Creed 2 - Dude if this is really in the French Revolution, who wouldn't want to call Robespierre a punk ass bitch before slitting his throat?

Next order of business.  The British people I know the most are Simon Cowell, Gordon Ramsay, Noel and Liam Gallagher, and Jeremy Clarkson from Tom Gear.  Notice a pattern among these people? They are all assholes.  Which makes me wonder, for people who live outside of America, do you guys only get exposed to Americans who are assholes?

And Finally, I posted this before, and I will do it again to see what people think of it now. 


Kanye West
Kanye West
Carlton
Carlton












Don't they look similar?


5 Comments

There must be something wrong with me

You know,  with the recession, unemployment, the bombings in Gaza, its pretty easy to say that it's not a good environment for an optimist, and a cynical bastard like me can just easily put anybody down like that.   But once in a while there are a few things to remind me that not everyone sucks.

We all know about Child's Play, and how they had said with the economy in the toilet they would be happy to get $750,000.  We also all know how they ended up getting $1.1 million in the end.  So gamers are antisocial eh?

Speaking of donations, recently laid off 1up staff who are starting the spiritual successor to the 1up Show here, have gotten over $11,000 in donations for video equipment.  And several other people laid off are starting their own stuff here and here.  We also all know about the CBS layoffs affecting Gamespot and the immortal Aaron and Shanker here.  Not to mention that the site I am posting on at this very moment was the result of somebody getting fired.

If all these people can turn something bad into something good , maybe its not people who suck, but me.  I'm a smartass college student living a pretty well off life who has no right to complain about how bad people are.  I guess it's too late for most to think of a new years resolution, but I know mine will be not to suck.

3 Comments

1up dead?

"1up is dead.  1up remains dead.  And we are the ones who have killed it."

Yeah I'm sure everyone who regularly posts on these boards knows whats going on.  I actually got the news from a sent Kotaku link just as I was listening to an old GFW Radio.  (Shawn Elliot was telling the epic tale of his meth addicted half-brother).  I'm a fan of irony, but not this type.   Also to clarify, I do not know exactly what killed 1up there could be a number of factors such as the competition from larger sites, mismanagement, the economy, the company debt, but it was probably a combination of all of them.  Hell I don't even know if 1up is actually dead or just moving to another office. 

I only found out about 1up two years ago, and while I preferred Gamespot (before "the incident" of course), 1up was really great.  There also seemed to be more honest previews of games from the 1up network instead of previews on other sites which gived games the benefit of the doubt.  I didn't read much in the way of previews and reviews, but I did listen to most of their podcasts (aside from the World of Warcraft one).

I didnt really give myself time to write what i thought of this but this was pretty much the exact thoughts

My exact thoughts actually
My exact thoughts actually





















Hey, thank God we still have Giantbomb. 



2 Comments

DUDE COLLIN COWHERD LOOKS LIKE TONY BLAIR!!

For those of you who do not know, Colin Cowherd is a rather annoying ESPN radio host.  That is the only purpose to this blog post.  I guess i just wasted 10 seconds of everyone's life.  Then again, I'm the same person who claimed Kanye West looks like Carlton from The Fresh Prince

Colin Cowherd
Colin Cowherd
caption
caption
3 Comments

My Thoughts on the latest Top Gear

So yeah, Top Gear is awesome, so here are my thoughts.  Maybe I just suck for not making something insightful about the games industry, but who cares right?

Here are my thoughts throughout the episode as accurately as I can recreate it

  • Woah man British touring car races look awesome!
  • HAHAHAHAHAH, a tube that allows women to pee in a car.  That thing looks like a pea shooter mixed with a pen cap.  Who would buy that as a CHristmas present?
  • THIS IS HILARIOUS RICHARD FELL
  • Huh, red wine made by car manufacturers?
  • That Tesla looks badass!!!!
  • Oh its the most impractical thing ever
  • Woah Tom Jones is the guest.  His Welsh accent is so unlike his singing voice.
  • HAHAHA he is so slow at driving
  • Dude hes gonna break Fifth Gear's record for jumping a car in a caravan!!!
  • Oh damn, they didnt
  • Woah awards show.
  • LOL I forgot about that dance that Jay Kay did after winning the rcord
  • Oh yeah I didn't realize Jeremy Clarkson injures his neck so much
  • Oh yeah Jeremy looked so pathetic talking to that American girl
  • Oh great another electric car
  • wait a minute?? This doesn't make someone look like a dick for driving it.
  • It has its own hydrogen fuel cell??
  • Jay Leno says this will save the supercar???
  • James agrees????
  • THIS IS THE GREATEST CAR EVER!!!!
  • Ah man the episode is over
  • NOOOOOO NO MORE TOP GEAR FOR TWO WEEKS!!!
  • Oh badass, the next episode is gonna be in Vietnam
3 Comments

What other classics should be ruined by videogames

It's simple, just name a classic movie or book and add a mechanic that could be used in a game.  Other possiblities, making a sequel.

Lawrence of Arabia- Use the Wiimote to tap the camel.  (other motions could be shoving a stick up the camels  butt, pushing the switch on the explosives to blow up a Turkish train, and using a Mass Effect esque conversation system to get various Arab princes to help you).
Scarlet Letter Tycoon- Try to escape the torture of being ousted by society and deal with a lying reverend.  ALL WHILE MAKING MONEY AT THE SAME TIME!!!
The Da Vinci Code- Oh wait thats not a classic...oh and there's already a game...
The Republic 2: Electric Boogalo-  You've described the ideal state, now try to realize it in the first cooperation between the developers of Animal Crossign and Sim City EVER!!!!
Candide-  This could actually be pretty badass if it was an adventure game.  But stay true to the orignal text.

13 Comments

Dante's Inferno? Really?

So what is this gonna be a third person action game that happens to be a metaphor for the corruption of the Catholic Church and Florentine politics at the time?  The only thing I can imagine this being is an adventure/rpg game, but I doubt that will happen.

Or maybe I am a cynical bastard and will turn out to be the greatest thing ever.

7 Comments

Game Journalism Symposium

Here

So apparently former 1up editor Shawn Elliot is heading a games journalism symposium where many of the more famous critics, including Giant Bomb's own Jeff Gerstmann, are participating in a discussion about game reviews.

I think it's a great idea, but I believe there should be one for readers to contribute to as well, with a more organized and collective form than a forum or blog post.  But maybe I am just completely insane.

So anybody got any ideas?
5 Comments

Wow has it really been this long?

So Thanksgiving has come and gone, which means that I have been listening to The Hotspot, and it's current incarnation Giant Bombcast for three years now.  Imagine what's happened in the last three years

  • A midterm election, and a presidential election
  • A new president elected, and Canada, Great Britain, and Australia have all gotten new Prime Ministers
  • I voted (albeit for Jeremy Clarkson)
  • Two Olympics, A world Cup, and a Euro championship
  • One year with no NHL
  • UT Austin winning the Rose Bowl (HOOK EM HORNS)
  • I finish High School and turn 18
  • A generation of Consoles launch
  • Musharref gets overthrown in Pakistan
  • Death of Turkenbashi
  • Nintendo becomes the highest selling console manufacturer
  • EA gets it's shit together
  • I have turned from a 15 year old dickhead to an 18 year old dickhead
  • And of course, the creation of Giant Bomb in the aftermath of "the incident"

So basically, I am thankful for The Hotspot and later the Giant Bombcast for three years of making the weekdays a little more tolerable.

So how has stuff changed for you guys in the last three years?
2 Comments
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