"They are going to type away that this game made sense when it first came out and that by playing it today, I lack the proper context for understanding its appeal."
Yes hello I'm here. It almost sounds like you tried to go in blind and avoided looking things up unless you had to. Even in 2003 everybody was looking stuff up and asking other players for information. Most of your problems seem solvable. Finding out what quests unlock what, or where to go to start a particular mission is easily obtainable information on any FFXI wiki. If you're getting aggroed by Malboros you can use sneak to avoid getting aggro, although if you have to go past aggressive mobs you might want a different EXP camp, and there's probably a million guides on "best FFXI exp camps" at this point, and hopefully you're doing records of eminence and fields of valor and using an exp ring. If someone told me they were going to do the paladin quest in Davoi, I would tell them to be sure to bring sneak/invis and a scroll of instant warp (you can get one for free every day), or any of the numerous other items like warp cudgel/teleport rings/chocobo stable scarves/event items that can safely transport you the heck out of there (when I did that quest back in the day, I went with a group of friends, one of them was a black mage, and once we all got our item he cast the black mage spell 'Escape' which does the exact thing you asked for in teleporting the party to the entrance of the dungeon).
I would probably equate exp loss to losing souls in Dark Souls, at least conceptually. Obviously it represents a greater loss of time. But it exists to make the world dangerous and give exploration and carelessness real consequences. And clearly not everybody hates it because FFXIV has it too, in the 'Eureka' content and also sorta in the more recent Bozjan Southern Front.
Also, while Home Point teleportation is the most recent teleportation system, home point crystals themselves have been in the game since it launched. They just used to only be a thing you clicked on if you wanted to show up there when you died.
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