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GiffTor

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Eight Games That I Am Better At Than You (I Promise)

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  • I've heard that Buddhist monks spend lifetimes (yes, plural, they get reincarnated) trying to achieve a state of Zen for but a moment, where life is in perfect clarity, peace and harmony. I achieve a Zen state for hours at a time, requiring only a perfect score of the first Level to see the intricacies of Galaga without complication for 24 more levels.

  • Unlike losing your virginity, my first Ace Combat experience (Ace Combat 4: Shattered Skies) was actually better than the subsequent ones. Still, there's something special about having two #1 rankings on XBL that stand for months and establishing your dominance in multiplayer against all of the flight sim fanboys from overseas is just delicious.

  • The first I played this game was on a friend's PS2 in college. We were drinking heavily. I beat it on Hard in one sitting. After I got my own PS2, this game literally wept and called me Daddy.

  • If you're noticing a trend, it's because my situational awareness and spatial rotational abilities are incredible. If it's a flight sim game, especially a well made competitor for the Ace Combat series, I'm better at it than you are. Much better.

  • I picked this game up on a whim after the awesomeness of T.I.E. Fighter. It took all of the great things about a Star Wars game like T.I.E. Fighter except with much higher playability and good graphics. Although the sample size of people I smoked was just my dorm hallway playing on the LAN, if you flew a T.I.E. Defender and I flew a Z95 Headhunter, you'd still be breathing vacuum.

  • If you don't remember this game, it's either because you suffer from Vertigo (I don't) or because it came out before you were born. Either way, it was a claustrophobic, dizzying game that got zero-g combat in a confined space down to a T and the second of the series was my favorite. I'm also still awesome at it.

  • Yeah. MS. Pac-Man. I said it. It has some refinements upon the original and I'm better at it than Pac-Man. But not THAT much better, so that means that I'm probably better at Pac-Man than you, too.

  • Okay, I can't guarantee I'm better than everyone at this. I'm pretty good at it, but I mainly threw it in here so that I wouldn't have to stick Ace Combat 5 or Ace Combat Zero in here, too.