Having grown up in a small town, and having driven through many small towns in my life, the correct answer is Pizza. Now, you may ask why that is, and I will break it down going from least safe to safest.
Chop Suey - Never, and I mean NEVER, order Chinese in a small town unless you live in that town and know it's good. There's a reason this restaurant is in BFE and not a bigger city. Bad Chinese can be really, really, really bad.
Gyro - Hole in the wall Greek in a city can be very good. Hole in the wall Greek in a small town has a high likelihood of being really bad. Whether that is dried out meat, bad pitas, or terrible Tzatziki sauce.
Tacos - This one is tougher to get wrong, but a lot of small town places have stale taco shells. Also, they very easily make the meat poorly with either bad spice choices or overcooking.
Burgers - This is the second safest. It's tough to mess up a burger, because as long as it is cooked, you can douse it in ketchup and eat it. However, the danger here is how many small town burgers just drip in grease. This can ruin a burger, but it's still fairly safe.
Pizza - The safest option. Even a bad pizza is delicious, especially if you order safe toppings like cheese and pepperoni. The pepperoni is not likely to be house made, so it's pretty safe. If you order ground beef, it could fall in the same place as burgers above. Even if the marinara is not very good, it doesn't coat the pizza. You can overpower any pizza with Ranch or Buffalo sauce, but even the worst hole in the wall pizza is still good and the safest choice.
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