This is a transcript of one game of Push Me Pull You from the GBeast Quick Look. Other people in the comments were already remarking on the banter, so I wanted to transcribe it for posterity and aspiring radioplay performers.

Quick Look: Push Me Pull You – Scene 1 – Act 2

VINNY: Yes yes yes! Niiiice! Niiiice!

AUSTIN: That was a good sprint. That was a good sprint. Keep it wrapped.

VINNY: Aw deny.

AUSTIN: He’s in, he’s in. Alright well I’m just gonna move it this way.

VINNY: Yeah OK.

AUSTIN: Keepin’ it wrapped. Keep it wrapped. Oh, too close, too close.

JEFF: Get outta there.

VINNY: It’s like a human Cinnabon

JEFF: Get outta there, get it outta there.

VINNY: OK I’m gonna pull up a little bit.

AUSTIN: Push it! Push push push!

VINNY: I don’t have the strength.

AUSTIN: I do. I do. I’m gonna hold it! I’m gonna hold it from getting in! Oh no. Oh no, they’re getting through. Alright, I’m gonna walk it all the way around. You stay up there.

JEFF: No you’re- OK thanks for the tip. I don’t know what you’re going to do.

AUSTIN: Well, you know. Aw I gotta get in. Ok pushed it out.

VINNY: Nice.

AUSTIN: Breaking it in.

VINNY: You’re breaking in?

AUSTIN: I’m stuck.

ALEX: Rrrrrrraaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuggggghhhh!

VINNY: OK I like this. I’ll go in there with you.

AUSTIN: OK double push. OK now give it a real push.

VINNY: Yes!

AUSTIN: Oh! Contesting! Contesting for the ball!

VINNY: Aup.

AUSTIN: Shit. Oh they closed it up.

VINNY: Yep.

AUSTIN: They’re still not-

VINNY: Yeah, let’s pull it in.

AUSTIN: Pull it! Pull it! Pull it!

VINNY: (inhales through teeth)

AUSTIN: Almost!

VINNY: Hrrrrrrmmmmmmmmuurrrrrmmmmh! Nope!

AUSTIN: Oh they pushed me out. Oh you’re so far away. I need your support.

JEFF: Get back in there, Alex.

ALEX: I’m trying.

JEFF: Shit.

ALEX: Oh this is hard. It’s actually hurting my thumb a little bit.

AUSTIN: Oh oh! Aaaaaah! Ooo wait, if I can get in the other way…

VINNY: Yeah but we’ve denied them.

AUSTIN: Yeah this is some good “D.”

JEFF: Yeah is this what you think you’ve done?

VINNY: Yeah

AUSTIN: You’ve lost all your points.

VINNY: Alright, Austin, bring it in. Reel it in. We’re gonna go on the attack. Ready? All the way! Go!

AUSTIN: Got it!

VINNY: Yep! Pull it in! Yeees! Yes!

AUSTIN: Hold it hold it hold it!

VINNY: OK, I’m engorging.

ALEX: What? Please don’t use that word, ever.

VINNY: Yes!

JEFF: Shit.

AUSTIN: Keepin’ it wrapped keepin’ it wrapped keepin’ it wrapped.

VINNY: Oooh yeah!

JEFF: Come on!

VINNY: I just want to grab you and hug you.

AUSTIN: Keep em out keep em out keep em out!

VINNY: Yes!

AUSTIN: Hold it closer. Bring me closer.

JEFF: C’moooon, damn it!

VINNY: OK, let’s get ready. Get ready.

ALEX: Jeff you gotta get it wrapped. Get it wrapped.

AUSTIN: Oh shit, they got in on me. Ok get- *under breath* fucking…

VINNY: OK I’m gonna go for the wrap.

AUSTIN: Nice.

ALEX: Aauugh!

JEFF: Yeees!

VINNY: Let’s push. Oh we got it.

AUSTIN: Pull it up. Pull it in towards us.

VINNY: Yeah we’re good. They’re in a bad spot. Yep, they’re in a bad spot for sure.

AUSTIN: Wrapping.

JEFF: Keep it pushing! Shit!

AUSTIN: OK.

JEFF: Shiiiiit!

AUSTIN: This is our play. Ok keep left of me.

JEFF: Shiiiiit!

VINNY: I’m just keeping the ball.

JEFF: Damn it!

AUSTIN: Just fight them off of me!

JEFF: What do we do?

VINNY: Alright, yep.

ALEX: Jeff you’re going to have to pull in. That’s going to be the key is you have to pull in.

AUSTIN: No.

ALEX: We’re going this way. That’s what we’re doing.

VINNY: Ah crap.

ALEX: That’s happening, whether you like it, or not.

AUSTIN: OK OK.

VINNY: Let’s go left.

AUSTIN: I’m trying. I don’t actually have it. Alright go! Pull it in! Pull it in!

JEFF: Stay stay stay!

AUSTIN: Ah no! Wrap it! Wrap it!

VINNY: Ah crap. OK I’m going around the other way.

AUSTIN: Nice! Nice! Push up.

VINNY: Yes! Yeah OK bring it around.

JEFF: (exhaling) Hoooooahh. Yeeeeees!

VINNY: Alright, wrap.

JEFF: What is happening?!

AUSTIN: No, I didn’t get a full wrap. I didn’t get a full wrap. I didn’t get-

VINNY: It’s OK, we’ll walk with it. We’ll walk with it.

AUSTIN: OK

JEFF: There we go. There we go. There we go.

VINNY: Nope, he’s thinking about cake.

AUSTIN: Oh noooooo.

JEFF: Alright, c’mon, stay.

VINNY: Penetrate.

AUSTIN: And then this way.

VINNY: Break it! Got it! Got it! And then push!

ALEX: I will fight to the death.

VINNY: Push!

AUSTIN: Get it!

VINNY: Yes!

AUSTIN: Get it!

VINNY: YES!

AUSTIN: Get it!

VINNY: YES!!

AUSTIN: Get it!

VINNY: YES!!! –NO! –YES!!

AUSTIN: Ah you still have it.

ALEX: You gotta go longer. You gotta go longer.

JEFF: I know I know I know. I’m in. I’m in. I’m in.

VINNY: Wrap them in.

JEFF: Hold on. Ho hoo hooooah!

ALEX: Up up up!

JEFF: Oh shit.

ALEX: Now down, down, down.

AUSTIN: OK. Hoooowahh.

VINNY: Alright let’s-

ALEX: Get outta there!

AUSTIN: I got it I got it.

ALEX: Get outta there!

AUSTIN: I got it.

JEFF: I’m trying to get it!

VINNY: I’m tying them up! I’m tying them up!

JEFF: I can’t handle it!

AUSTIN: OK, just a few more seconds.

ALEX: Keep them on the edge. Keep them on the edge.

VINNY: I’m gonna come back around and push.

ALEX: Down down down down down!

AUSTIN: Yes yes yes yes!

JEFF: I’m pushing!

ALEX: Damn it!

AUSTIN: Boom!