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So I finally bought an iPhone 4S...

...after five years of using a Sony Ericsson K750i I've opted to jump on the smart-phone-band-wagon (umpteen years late I know) and got myself one of those iPhone 4S thingamajigs today. I managed to get a pretty good contract with O2 as well with unlimited texts, unlimited minutes and 1GB of data usage a month all for the affordable price of £36.00 a month, minus the one off fee of £50 to 'purchase' the phone.

Old faithful, we've had a lot of memories together him and I...
Old faithful, we've had a lot of memories together him and I...

My real question however is related to the Apps Store and more specifically to get some recommendations from you guys and girls as to what the 'must have' apps are for iPhone users and naturally, with this being a video game site and all, to get some gaming related app suggestions as well.

So Giant Bomb community, help a brother out here and enlighten me as to what apps I should be looking into!


Patch Notes v0.06 - Top Ten Games of the Year List !!!

Hope Everyone Had A Merry Christmas!

 Here's the list as promised, enjoy :)

Best of 2010

Hamz: Best of 2010

1. Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood

Each new iteration of the already brilliantly refined Assassin's Creed series brings with it a new layer of polish and AC: Brotherhood is no exception. Adding a much deeper single player experience, with an intriguing story and set of characters, that continues on from exactly where its predecessor ended. As well as a new multiplayer component that feels like a natural fit for the series. Allowing players to pit their wits against one another in a hunt and be hunted scenario. It's this constant sense of improvement and refinement to an already successful formula that secures Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood the top spot on my list.

2. Darksiders

Drawing inspiration from games like Zelda and God of War it manages to combine those elements into a worthy and exemplary homage to both. With a combat system that has a fair bit of depth, challenge and accessibility too it. For a game set during the Apocalypse it has a visual design that is as unique and memorable as it is colourful.

3. God of War III

Never has a game been more worthy of being described as epic than this one. From those initial moments right up until the credits rolled. No game does combat quite as viscerally or manages to capture a sense of scale like GoW3 does. Some of the finest and most detailed visuals in a game as well as a fitting ending for one of the grandest and bloodiest stories told in a video game.

4. Heavy Rain

As bold as it is beautiful, no other game this year has done what Heavy Rain did in providing an emotionally charged story and atmosphere. With one of the most memorable scenes, and control schemes, in video game history. It emphasised the impact our choices have on the outcome of our experience.

5. Singularity

Carving a name for itself on this list in large part to it being in the same vein as games like BioShock and Half-Life 2. But with the added bonus of time-bending abilities, solid gunplay as well as a story and atmosphere that was truly interesting to experience.

6. Call of Duty: Black Ops

One of the most thrilling and exciting experiences to be had in a first person shooter accompanied by some of the most interesting characters in the Call of Duty series. All of that combined with the familiar but improved formula from its predecessors makes for a compelling game.

7. Battlefield: Bad Company 2

Very few first person shooters can claim to have some of the best sound design, destructible environments and the ability to inject some humour into their game quite as well as Bad Company 2 does. It's because of this that it managed to cement itself a place on my list.

8. Sonic & Sega All-Stars Racing

Combine a roster of familiar and popular characters, lots of unlockable content as well as power-ups that feel useful and fun to use. And you have yourself one of the finest most entertaining and fun kart racers to play that has been released in recent years.

9. Blur

The brilliantly stylised visual design of the game, the bevy of beautiful cars and the challenges to overcome in each race. Not to mention the sound of an incoming shunt attack still manages to inspire a feeling of dread in me. All these things add up to help Blur earn its place on this list.

10. Split/Second

Few games manage to capture the feeling of high speed racing and the dangers that lurk around each turn quite like Split/Second does. With its over the top action and extraordinary set pieces it definitely left some memorable moments unlike any other this year.

Were there any surprise omissions or additions you didn't expect? Leave a comment below and let me know! :) 
P.S. - Hope everyone has a Happy New Year!  
Love Hamz, XOXO 

Patch Notes v0.05

Video Games Played

  • Split/Second; I've not got much else to add about the game that I haven't mentioned already (see: Patch Notes v0.04) but I did just want to conclude that having finally finished it I'm hopeful the game will see a sequel. A superb experience, albeit frustrating when the AI cheats, that ended in a suitable bombastic and dramatic way that caught me by surprise.
  • Final Fantasy XIII; played but not completed. At Chapter 11 the game halted any chance of progression and instead forced hours upon hours of grinding XP in order to have a sufficient chance at surviving encounters with enemies. This sudden change in pace came without warning or reason which was disappointing given the linear feel of the previous chapters had helped build up a great momentum and focus.
  • Spider-Man: Shattered Dimensions; while the gameplay can get repetitive over time and the camera can be more of a hindrance than a help, the distinct design and different gameplay styles of the four Spider-Men and their unique dimensions is refreshing. And if you're a really big Spider-Man fan, like myself, then you'll definitely enjoy the extra content on offer that can be unlocked. 
  • Call of Duty: Black Ops; probably one of the most thrilling and exciting single player campaigns to ever be in a first person shooter. The game has a deep sense of intrigue too it thanks in large part to the fractured way in which the story is recounted under interrogation. The gameplay is similar to previous titles in the franchise and just like them it's equally as entertaining and fun to experience.
  • Medal of Honor; could have been so much better if there had been any actual focus or commitment to take the game in a specific direction. But instead it flounders between two very familiar FPS franchises on the market and lacks a lot of the polish and shine that they have. That said the game does have some really nice lighting, environmental textures and sound effects. It's just disappointing to see that these are it's only good qualities.
  • Gran Turismo 5; proving once again that good things come to those who wait. GT5 may not have the best UI or menu design, it may suffer terribly from many graphical anomalies but it sure does shine where it counts and that's in the driving, racing and handling of cars. Scoff all you want at the 'it's a driving simulator' slogan but it's true, there's just not anything else out there quite like it.

Currently Playing

Just Cause 2; I've clocked up around fourteen hours of game time and genuinely can't get enough of it. Even with its terrible voice acting, glitches and some oddly designed elements it's such an addictive game. Wanting to get 100% completion on each location you come across, trying to blow up as much stuff as possible to earn Chaos & Cash. Attaching things together with the grappling hook and awaiting the outcome of such a union. All of these things become ridiculously addictive to perform. I literally can't enter a military base without attaching a canister of gas to a soldier and igniting it causing the unfortunate guard to be dragged along like a rag doll. 
The general story so far as well as the script and voice acting has been terrible but in a very B-Movie-ish way. I liken it to something like a Steven Seagal movie, you know it's not going to be up to much but you watch it anyway because it's frankly a guilty pleasure. I shouldn't chuckle when the lady giving my missions emphasises the word "endowed", "pleasure" or "chemistry" when referring to her relationship with the protagonist but I do none the less. That being said some gameplay elements leave me confused as to whether they were intentionally designed to be the way they are or if it's just problematic by coincidence. For instance most land vehicle feel terrible to drive and a small bump into another car or slight twitch on the analogue stick can send the vehicle into a tumbling, chaotic crash. The targeting often makes gunplay a bit of an annoyance, especially when the AI manage to have no trouble at hitting their targets.  
All of that aside though I'm really blown away by just how much there is to explore and do in the game. Between all the locations, vehicles and faction missions I'm sure I'll be clocking in an additional fourteen or more hours getting through it all!   
Below is an image comparing the size of Just Cause 2's map to some other open world games from the past. 

A Few Quick Notes

  • I strongly urge you all to read "A Rant About the VGAs" by Jeff Green. It does a great job of summarising what's wrong with the VGAs!
  • The next Patch Notes blog will be GOTY related. So keep an eye out for that being posted sometime after Christmas.
  • Top Men are brainstorming some solutions for the recent spam-bot infestation. Be patient ;)
 As always please feel free to comment & critique below!  
  Love Hamz, XOXO 

Patch Notes v0.04

Videos Games Played

  • ModNation Racers; the gameplay was dull and the blatant cheating by the AI was frustrating and off-putting. So much so that I couldn't motivate myself to continue playing it to completion. That being said the game had a lot of charm in its visual style and design. The creative opportunities available were also something worth applauding, albeit even if I had zero desire to make much use of them.
  • Mini Ninjas; a charming game with a great art style that helped create a world that felt vibrant and colourful. A world that you're encouraged to explore in order to gather the wealth of collectibles the game has to offer. Combat had a surprising bit of variety too it with the various ninjas to choose from as well as magical spells. All in all I was glad that this was the game I earned my second ever platinum trophy in because it felt worth it.

Currently Playing

Split/Second; some of the best action packed sequences and sheer adrenaline rush gameplay I've experienced in a long while, and from a racing game no less! The difficulty is unforgiving and pretty frustrating the further you get through the Season mode due to the AI's habit of rubber-banding at the least inconvenient times. However each episode within the Season mode offers a varied number of events to race in helping break up the repetition and alleviate some of that frustration.  
Operation Flashpoint: Dragon Rising;  picked it up in the bargain bin at HMV because back in the day a group of friends and I used to play the original Operation Flashpoint fairly regular and I figured for the cheap price of £10 it'd be worth checking this out. At first glance I was pretty impressed to see the game stick to the more traditional feel similar to the first game . But I soon realised after retrying the first mission a few times that my tastes as a gamer had changed quite a bit compared to what they once were. I appreciate a game like this exists because clearly there is an audience for these sort of 'simulator' shooters, but I'm just a little disappointed that no matter how hard I try I don't think I'll ever really be one of them again.
Final Fantasy XIII; its been a long time since I played a Final Fantasy game. If memory serves I think FFIX was the last entry in the franchise that I played. I have to admit a brief wave of nostalgia washed over me during the first hour or so of play as I felt the old familiarity with the franchise kicking in. I'm now around six hours into the game and so far I've really enjoyed what I've experienced. Visually the game is beautiful and so very colourful with the in-engine and rendered cinematics having such a high quality to them that is impressive. Story and character wise I'm a little confused at times but the in-game datalogue keeps me straight. The combat seems intuitive with the Paradigm system offering variety and flexibility in how to approach different battles. So far so good it seems however if anyone can lend some tips on how to win your first encounter against Odin, I'm all ears! ;)  

Keeping it short this month. As usual feel free to comment and critique with constructive feedback below. Till next month folks!    
Love Hamz, XOXO    

Patch Notes v0.03

Video Games Played

  • Dead to Rights: Retribution;  not long after Patch Notes v0.02 was posted I finished this up and put it to rest. As I mentioned before my main criticism with the game stems from the clumsy feel to the combat and controls as well as a few technical issues. However I found the game's visual design to be very appealing. There's a gritty, grimy feel to everything that fits in extremely well with the narrative and tone the game aims for.
  • Medal of Honor: Airborne; also mentioned in the previous Patch Notes and also finished shortly after posting it. I didn't really know what to expect going in but upon finishing it I felt a feeling of satisfaction. The game had glaring flaws with its somewhat archaic design but it was still an enjoyable play none the less that left me, surprisingly, pining for a new WW2 shooter to come on the market.
  • Call of Duty Classic; continuing the WW2 theme I bought this from the PSN store in a spur of the moment situation and very glad I did so. It may be old but it's still a great piece of nostalgic gaming. What struck me the most was how well, from a gameplay perspective, it stood up still to this day compared to the so called 'modern standards' set by today's mainstream shooters.
  • Shank; after playing the demo and watching all the coverage by Giant Bomb I manned up and bought it. Only to find a few hours later I wish I didn't. It's a great little game with a nice art style and visual design but not only is it fairly short it's also extremely repetitive as well. I've not actually finished it yet but I've gotten to the point I can't bring myself to make a solid effort too either. It shall stay in limbo until I get the fancy for some "uh, uh, uh, uh, uh" action on the go.
  • X-Men Origins: Wolverine; the film was fairly poor and the game loosely follows that same story, the character of 'sniktbub' himself is somewhat one dimensional as well. So it was a pleasant surprise to find a bit of depth to the gameplay, particularly the somewhat visceral combat on offer as there is plenty of enemy variation which combined with the option to upgrade both newly learnt and existing abilities kept the combat feeling fresh to some degree.
  • BioShock 2; my general feeling about the game is that it didn't need to be made. While the return to Rapture was welcome it felt somewhat contrived. That being said the game itself is pretty good and I did enjoy the single player. The narrative may not have been as good as the first game's but it's a lot better than what many current game's have to offer. Gameplay wasn't bad either and it was obvious there were attempts made to fix complains from the first game. However I didn't once feel like I was playing or experiencing the game from the perspective of a Big Daddy which was disappointing. Thankfully the multiplayer helped rectify that, check out the Currently Playing section for further details!
  • Ghostbusters: The Video Game; I'm an unabashed Ghostbusters fan so from the moment I heard the familiar sound as the Proton Pack powered up to the moment I got to wrangle and trap my first ghost I was entirely sold on the game. It's complete fan service from start to finish and while the humour sometimes felt a little flat it did a great job at presenting the ideal Ghostbusters experience for fans of the series.
  • Condemned 2: Bloodshot; I played about an hour or two of the game. Turned it off and sent it back to my rental service. I was kind of sceptical about renting it to begin with but after a few hours of play I confirmed the game just isn't my cup of tea at all. Not sure whether it was the clumsy feel of the controls or the lack of any real direction or motivation in terms of character and story but I didn't really enjoy my brief time with it.

Currently Playing

BioShock 2 Multiplayer; I may have finished up the single player campaign but I'm far from done with the multiplayer. It's persistence and subsequent addictiveness that comes with levelling, unlocking and equipping new plasmids, weapon upgrades, tonics and cosmetic items is what keeps me glued. Not to mention the fact it portrays, in my opinion, a much truer and better experience of what being a Big Daddy feels like than the single player provided. If you're lucky enough to pick up the suit during an online match you instantly find your field of vision and speed limited by the helmet & suit you wear. You also find yourself being dogged by multiple splicers as you fend them off with the trusty rivet gun, sticky bombs and strong melee attacks at your disposal. All of this sort of feels like a much truer representation of what being a Big Daddy is truly all about.
If there is one major piece of praise that can be said about BioShock 2 it's got to be the multiplayer. In my opinion it's level of customisation for character loadouts and the importance of finding synergy between them is much more meaningful than other persistent online shooters such as MW2 or BFBC2 etc. Overall I'm highly impressed by the multiplayer, even when I was far more sceptical about it during the game's development, and it's most definitely a welcome surprise. 

Bit of a longer than anticipated Patch Notes update but as per usual feel free to comment and critique with constructive feedback!  
Love Hamz, XOXO

Patch Notes v0.02

Video Games Played

  •  Singularity; barely anyone talked about it up until it was released then it seemed like they couldn't stop talking about it, probably because it's one of the better games released this year. A pretty solid story accompanied by gameplay that is familiar to anyone who's played BioShock and some design decisions that feel like they were inspired by games such as Half-Life 2. I thoroughly enjoyed it from start to finish.
  • Army of TWO: The 40th Day; I went in not knowing what to expect but came out feeling positive. The game has its faults but most of them stemmed from my decision to play with an AI partner rather than a real human being. Rios & Salem were interesting, their guns a little bombastic and the story fairly bland but overall I enjoyed just playing some rock-paper-scissors in the middle of a firefight before promptly letting bullets fly everywhere. And the multiplayer wasn't half bad either!
  • Wolfenstein; what it lacked in progressive and new gameplay it made up for by being an all round well designed game. If I had to pick any specific thing to complain about it would be that the game's final boss fight and overall length felt like it stretched out a little longer than was really necessary. Otherwise it was a fairly solid shooter that, in my opinion, offered me many hours of mindless fun.
  • Red Dead Redemption; probably the first Rockstar game I've actually finished from title screen to credits. And it's something I'm glad that I did as the game was pretty fun to play given how amazingly well it managed to create an atmosphere to fit the moment at almost every turn. That's not to say it's flawless, the aiming mechanics didn't feel as comfortable as they could have. And the PS3 version definitely had a noticeably inconsistent frame rate in areas of the game. But it was still none the less a quality product and experience to play and enjoy.
  • Valkyria Chronicles; a fantastic game that I enjoyed tremendously for the time I spent playing it because of its bold mix of genres and game mechanics alongside its beautiful visual design. However I could not bring myself to actually finish the game, largely due to the almost painfully slow pace and hand holding the game forces you through. Being forced to view the same briefings and cut-scenes and things you've seen before when retrying a mission after failing it soon became tiresome as did having to continually grind away on the Skirmish mode in order to progress through the actual single player campaign. For now I'm putting the idea of continuing to play it on hiatus but those of you who have yet to try the game should definitely give it a go, it truly is an exceptional game.

Currently Playing

 Medal of Honor: Airborne; I missed the game when it originally came out back in 2007 and decided that I'd give it a go to see what it was like. In short I'm finding it enjoyable as far as WW2 games and shooters in general go. I enjoy the whole concept of parachuting onto the battlefield and I have to applaud the game for its somewhat dynamic method of spawning in both ally and enemy AI. Many times I've found myself caught off guard by enemies flanking from all directions instead of coming from a set path or direction. However the game's control schemes feel awkward and some of its mechanics and design choices feel archaic, at least compared to the standards I'm used to in today's shooters. But I shall continue to soldier on, one botched parachute landing after another :( 
Dead to Rights: Retribution; on a technical level it's a little rough around the edges in some places, much like the characters and environments within the game itself, which has led me to vocally express my annoyance (note; curse like a sailor) on a few occasions. Ranged combat in the game feels a little more clumsy than it should and cut-scenes have weird lighting issues. But the more I play it the more I feel it growing on me. The gritty visual look of a city on the brink of urban decay helps make Grant City feel like the grimy corrupt place it is meant to be. The overly masculine proportions of Jack Slater and Shadow (note; that's the dog) help emphasise the brutality of the vast array of hand-to-hand manoeuvres in the game. So far the game hasn't lost momentum or my interest, I'm hoping it stays like this until the credits roll. 

Off My Mind

It seems lately that the popular subject people keep making topics on the forum about is to complain about the current state of the community and content on the forum itself. So with that in mind I feel obliged to direct folks to this brilliant topic which outlines some very simple steps on how you can help cut back on the Stupid Pointless Annoying Messages that some feel are plaguing the forum lately. 
On the other hand I also feel obliged to point out that the Forum Preferences are there for a reason. Use them if you're no longer interested in seeing topics posted in specific primary boards appearing in your Newest Topics feed.   

 Click it....
 Click it....

 ...and behold!
 ...and behold!
As per usual feel free to leave some constructive feedback in the comments below. 
Love Hamz, XOXO

Patch Notes v0.01

Video Games Played

  • Heavy Rain; excellent cinematic experience with a brilliant atmosphere and tension that had me on the edge of my seat for fear of missing an on screen prompt for almost my entire time spent with the game. Definitely a fine example of how a game doesn't need to involve a tremendous amount of violence or complexity in order for it to be a deep and enjoyable experience.
  • God of War 3; over the topic set pieces and visceral action makes a God of War game and this didn't disappoint one bit. From that opening cinematic to the fight against Cronos the game didn't hold back on taking my breathe away with its epic proportions. And definitely one of the most satisfying examples of how amazing a game can look visually without suffering from poor performance.
  • The Saboteur; plagued with technical issues that refused to let me continue playing but a fine game none the less. Even though I didn't finish it through to the end exactly I feel I pumped in enough time literally exploring, seducing and sabotaging my way through Paris to safely say I hold a soft spot for it.
  •   Sonic & SEGA All-Stars Racing; a quirky and charming kart racer that had me sold the moment I found out I could play as Alex Kidd. However upon actually playing it I was pretty shocked to see how much depth there was to the game. Between all the unlockable music, levels and characters to the various modes in the single player. Not to mention a somewhat stellar online experience as well.
  • Ratchet & Clank: A Crack in Time; if there is one thing I can appreciate being done well in a game then it's humour. Something this game is full of which, coupled with the entertaining adventure / puzzle / platformer it is, made the experience all the more enjoyable. And I don't think any game has hit my OCDness for collecting things quite like this did with the various bolts and collectibles dotted around levels and planets.
  • Blur; the sophisticated kart racer that just so happens to be one of the most challenging and difficult games I've played in recent years. Once you break past the sweet and enjoyable outer layer the game has a bit of a sour twist too it. But with the bevy of real-world cars, enjoyable tracks and intuitive power-ups I'm willing to overlook the darn right daftness that creeps up in certain areas.

Currently Playing

Valkyria Chronicles; again I'm a little late to the party on this one but that isn't stopping me from enjoying what I've played of it so far. I've just finished up my first desert mission and come across a ragnite temple. Something tells me I've still got many, many more hours of playtime left before I'm even close to finishing it. However what I've experienced so far has been great. Gameplay is far more tactical and fun than I thought it would be after viewing the Quick Look on the site. The art style, dialogue and cutscenes in between missions have been great as well. I'm not much of a Anime / JRPG fan myself but I'm really enjoying the quirky nature the characters all have, so far the highlight of the game has been picking squad members that have good synergy with each other. An example being Jann & Largo who have become my go-to-guys when I need Lancers on the field.
Like I said though, I feel I've only just breached the surface on this game and still have the juicy centre to play through and enjoy until it's finished!

Steam Sale Extravaganza

The only thing I bought was Lead & Gold: Gangs of the Wild West and that is definitely a game I am glad I paid £3.40 for. It's got issues, primarily the fact it seemed adamant on disconnecting me every time a server or game migrated to the next map. Still I won't knock it too hard, it's enjoyable when you get into a game with little lag and plenty of players. I look forward to seeing what else Fatshark produce in the future.

E3 2010

So much to talk about. So little enthusiasm to do so!
As each E3 comes and goes I find myself less and less enthusiastic about it. Out of all the statistical analysis, dick swinging between companies and coverage to catch up on by my favourite video game websites. I find myself exhausted and getting close to my apathetic cut-off point. So for the sake of brevity I'll bullet point what I considered to be the highlights of E3 2010...
We'll end things there I think. As per usual feel free to leave constructive criticism in the comments below!

Love Hamz, XOXO

Game Journalists Are Incompetent Fuckwits

Cutting straight to the point!

Its my all new favourite website.

A website that has been appearing in my twitter feed with some regularity over the last few days. The site is run by a gentlemen called Ben Paddon (never heard of him either!). I won't bother going into an explanation of what the site's purpose is as its blurb does a fine job of explaining that on its own.

 A catalogue of the stupid, incompetent, and generally retarded things gaming journalists say and do.

I dedicate time every day to scouring gaming news sites for dumb shit. More often than not I find it on Kotaku, where "random crap that pops into my head" qualifies as genuine journalism for some reason.

Make no mistake though, Kotaku is not his only target (just the largest and most plentiful) as if you take some time to read through a couple of pages you'll find content from plenty of other well known sites such as Destructoid, Games Radar, Joystiq etc making an appearance. I've spent a good couple of hours reading through a lot of the material on GJAIF and in between the odd fit of laughter I've found myself genuinely shaking my head in despair more often. Largely at the sheer stupidity from some of the so called 'professional' members of the video game press who work for well known publications. I can't help but feel certain individuals and established publications bring a note of shame to their peers and to the institution of journalism in general due to a complete lack of or extremely low standards of quality in their work.
So seeing a site like this where the critics find themselves put under the spotlight and criticised really does shed some light on the overall quality that we, the simple minded reader, have to put up with. While also in an odd way providing a brilliant arena to name and shame the biggest culprits and hopefully by doing so help maybe raise the bar a little over the standards of quality expected from members of the gaming press.
So what do you make of a site like GJAIF? Is it just a cheap way to throw jabs at the gaming press or is it perhaps a more subtle way of naming and shaming individuals and/or publications that continue to spew out crap on a daily basis? 

 I'm not sure this has any real connection to the content of this blog. But it does still make me chuckle none the less!
 I'm not sure this has any real connection to the content of this blog. But it does still make me chuckle none the less!

A short & sweet update!

No poor attempt at a witty intro in this blog today folks, we're jumping right into the bullet points!    

  • Battlefield Bad Company 1 & 2 (PS3)

I felt the first game had the stronger single player campaign while the second game had the more entertaining multiplayer portion. The sense of humour in both games was a refreshing change to competing products :P
  • Ratchet & Clank: A Crack in Time

Definitely enjoyed what I've played of it so far but the untimely demise of my PS3 has delayed when I'll be able to continue playing :(
  • PlayStation 3

My console received a unexpected and very rare red screen error message this past Sunday I'm hoping I don't have to wait too long for Sony to deliver me a brand new replacement console like they agreed too.
  • New PC Finally Oscar Mike!

The PC I ordered in February which turned up D.O.A and then got lost in transit on the return journey to the supplier finally arrived at their office last week. They couldn't pinpoint the exact cause of the problem and have opted to rebuild the system with fresh parts and a few upgrades thrown in for free. It should be delivered by Thursday! :D
  • Quit Smoking

It has now been one month since I decided to give up smoking and I've got to say its been going well. Big thanks to those that shared their support I appreciate it! :)
  • New Job

I start a new job on Monday which I'm fairly excited about. I'll probably explain a bit more about it in another blog after I've actually started the job ;)
Till next time dear readers!
Love Hamz, XOXO

Bobby Kotick and Activision Stole My Computer!

Some of you may remember way back during January of this fine year I was experiencing some major issues with my PC. Well that computer promptly died not long afterwards and sometime around February 1st I ordered a new computer and was forced to use my old laptop which has no sound in the meantime. All was going well and the machine arrived by the 17th of February but sadly that's when things took a bit of a nosedive. Within the first few hours of being turned on the machine kept reporting blue screen errors and various program crashes. So after a few phone calls to the technical support line of the PC supplier it was agreed the computer would be shipped back from Scotland to Newcaste on Tuesday 21st of February, a journey of 299 miles according to Google Maps. Now here we are over a week later and the PC supplier tells me they have yet to receive the product and the courier service used to deliver it says they have 'misplaced' the package. Forgive me but how do you misplace a 22kg package in a box big enough to hide a dead body in?
I've tried finding a logical answer to this situation but given recent events regarding the shakedown at Infinity Ward, the Apocalyps3 and recent information that there will be

 MISSING PONY! If found please dial 1-800-BODEGA
 MISSING PONY! If found please dial 1-800-BODEGA
more Call of Duty games produced in the next few years than I have nipples leads me to believe there is only one explanation for my computer going missing. That the CEO of Activision, and some say the Devil incarnate, Bobby Kotick himself flew on his demon wings from the USA to chilly Scotland and then proceeded to steal my computer as it was in transit before flying back home. Upon getting home there are unconfirmed reports he may or may not have eaten MattBodega's pony.
So how did I come to this conclusion you ask? Well in June 2009 Kotick mentioned Activision may have to revoke support for Sony's PS3 by 2010/2011 if they didn't give the console a price cut soon. Now I'm pretty sure the PS3 saw a price cut between June09 and the present day but the recent Apocalyps3 was clearly caused by Activision as a public reminder to us all that they hold the gaming industry by the balls and can cause the Y2K bug to appear and ruin our ability to tell the time & date accurately!
 Promotional shot of Activision's upcoming
 Promotional shot of Activision's upcoming "Brutal Business" title. Said to be a superior product in comparison to "Brutal Legend".
I mean look at the recent sacking of Jason West and Vince Zampella, we all know the "breach of contract and insubordination" claims in the SEC filing by Activision are completely bogus and false. We all know the real reason those two guys got sacked is because they refused to re-enact the homoerotic Gulag reunion scene Kotick had written for Soap and Price which IW stripped from the final release of MW2. It all makes perfect sense really as MW2 sold like hotcakes and brought all the boys to Activision's yard, so why not try and relive that success through future titles within the Call of Duty franchise? I know I would!
I guess what I'm saying here folks is that clearly my computer is not 'lost in transit' but being held hostage at the Activision HQ inside the CEO's office because everything that goes wrong in the world is indeed caused by Bobby Kotick and Activision. I have proven this above with my conspiracy theory and I now ask you, Giant Bomb Community, for volunteers to help make up a crack squad of commandos who's mission will be to rescue my computer so that I may watch porn with sound again.   

 This will be the squad leader his name is Cpt. Awesome-effing-Beard.
 This will be the squad leader his name is Cpt. Awesome-effing-Beard.

Love Hamz, XOXO