This is an ongoing list where I attempt to do the following: Play, Complete, and Rank every video game in the known universe in order to finally answer the age old question "What is the greatest game of all time?" For previous entries find the links on the attached spreadsheet.

How did I do?

If you have not watched the Gravity Falls TV show, you are missing out. Sure, it may be a kids cartoon on Disney, but it is a darn good one with clever and funny dialogue and entertaining Monster-of-the-week episodes, with a deep lore that spans the whole series. I would tentatively say that it is kids X-Files. Each episode can stand alone on its own as they tackle one of the mysteries of the week, but watch it all together and there is an overarching story that explains all the mysteries of the town. I realize I am about to talk about a Licensed TV Show game, but for context we will be doing a little discussion about the show itself.

The whole premise of the show Gravity Falls, is that two siblings were sent to spend their summer with their uncle in the town of Gravity Falls. However, the town has mysteries that the children then start looking into to solve. It does not take itself too seriously, and the mysteries involve defeating a candy monster made up of all the neglected Halloween candy, as well as mysteries about a bottomless pit that only lasts 15 minutes and then spits you out back at the top. The show goes places, but in the game, you are taking the role of the children roughly mid-show. How do I know it's mid-show? I don't, I am purely guessing. There are no mentions of what happens at the end of the show, but yet you are already familiar with some minor characters that are around town. The game, for obvious reasons, expects that you are already a pretty regular viewer of the show.

The actual game itself has you meet up with a gnome (like early season 1 characters) who claim that special gems were stolen from the gnomes that need to be returned or else nature itself will start to die and collapse. You control both children (not at the same time, but you can switch between them), as you look for the gems that correspond to elements. Dipper (the boy) is stronger but has a shorter range on his attack, he also has has the power to light up darkened areas, shrink his size to fit in small holes, and eventually teleport at certain spots. Mabel (the girl) is weaker, but has a longer range on her attack. She also has the ability to dispel magic barriers, use a grappling hook to swing on things, as well as use said grappling hook to slightly change the environment. In nearly every level, you will be switching your control between the two of them to get past the obstacles in the level. We are talking about some pushing block puzzles, some moving platform jumps, and enemies that pace back and forth waiting for you to get in their line of sight. There is nothing too difficult here, and the game makes sure you can't go too far in the level as just one character so that. Get to the end of the level and fight a boss and if you beat it, you get a gem to take back to your gnome buddy.

Now, there is a lot of back and forth in this game. Each character doesn't start with every power, those you get as you progress, but you may have noticed earlier items in the game that eluded you because you were missing said power. This game is a collect-a-thon type of game. You see, nearly every person in the game wants you to collect X amount of a given item for them, and they are "hidden" throughout every level. So, if you are truly trying to 100% this game, you would need to revisit levels when you have your upgraded abilities, because you missed an item that needed the grappling hook, or you missed an item that required the shrink ray. Here is the kicker though, collecting all those items for people gets you...... nothing. Absolutely nothing in terms of the game. Your pet pig wants 12 snacks, you return with all 12 snacks and your reward is that checklist being completed and one line of dialogue that basically says "Here you go pet pig, all your snacks.. Your welcome." In fact after you beat the game, it actually tells you to go back and complete all your collections if you haven't done so. Should you complete literally every collection in the game, the game offers you a coded message at the end of its credits that probably says something funny. For those unaware, Gravity Falls (the show) had a lot of hidden messages and codes in its episodes. There were big discussions on fan boards that literally dissected each and everything found in an episode. Some of those messages were in a coded language, that people eventually broke and were able to discern. At the time of the show airing, this was probably pretty cool, as it eluded to what was upcoming, and it shows that there was thought put into the trajectory of the show. I say "probably" because me and my wife never dove that far down the rabbit hole. The show is good and all, but I have far better things to do with my time then watch the episode frame by frame and make notes of hidden letters to spell out a code that eventually talks about the final villain. Where was I? Oh yeah, so for beating the whole game, you get a coded message that probably translates to a funny joke about a character. It's not like it could have teased anything new, the show has been over for years, is not coming back, and all the reveals have been spilled, so uhhh.. cool, I guess.

I have to briefly mention the bosses. Every boss is the exact same with one new added element. Yup, that's correct! Every boss for every element (and final boss) plays the exact same except that each one adds one new wrinkle into the equation. For instance the first boss you have to hit rocks back into him with Dipper. Do this enough time and you defeat him. The 2nd boss, requires you to first dispel a shield and then hit rocks into him to defeat him, etc. Unless you are trading this game between 4 different people where each person is tackling a level without knowing what came before it, you will not stumble to beat any of these bosses. What's disappointing, is that the show itself has two main villains that it can pull from, and if it doesn't want to use those because they are sacred or whatever, then they can pull from any monster of the week episode. Hell, one level has you go into a dinosaur cave (from the show), why are we not fighting the dinosaur (from the show)?

I need to stress, that I didn't go into this game expecting miracles. I know the stigma of licensed video games, and I knew this was going to be a let down. There are some bright spots. The writing is fairly good and in tone with the show, you get to see some of your favorite characters, they got the theme music, and its generally a really easy game to play (almost like its geared for kids who watch the show). However, like other licensed games it just falls into the same pitfalls that other licensed games do, which really amounts to not using the source appropriately. I'm not expecting a 3 season arc here that ties back perfectly into the show, but maybe have us fight some different enemies from the show. Maybe make the final boss, or even a mention of one of the two big bads from the show. Give everyone's favorite characters (the uncle, Sous, Wendy) a little more to do then just people you collect junk for. It goes without saying that unless you are a fan of the show, this game probably won't mean anything to you, as it does not explain anything you are seeing. Hey, it is short and easy though, so if you are looking to pad your completion stats....

Is this the greatest game of all time?: No

Where does it rank: Overall the game is inoffensive and pedestrian. Its niche is clearly fans of the show, as I have to imagine the conversion rate of people going the other way (game to show) is about 1-2%. If you love the show and want to squeeze just a little bit more out of it, then sure, this game is a light and breezy 2-4 hour game (depending on if you are collecting everything). It's not broken, nor is it a "bad" game, it's just a quick cash in that doesn't provide a lot of value outside of seeing images of your favorite characters on screen. I have it as the 96th Greatest Game of all timeout of 109 total games. It sits between "Minesweeper Genius" (95th) and "Shaun White Skateboarding" (97th).

Up Next

1. Multiple "time wasters" (Switch)

2. Blazing Dragons (PS1)

3. Sonic Adventure (Dreamcast)

Anyone looking for it: here is the link to the list and more if you are interested in following along with me (this is not a self promotion). Here. I added links on the spreadsheet for quick navigation. Now if you missed a blog of a game you want to read about, you can get to it quickly, rather than having to scroll through my previous blogs wondering when it came up.