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imunbeatable80

Sometimes I play video games on camera, other times I play them off.. I am an enigma

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What's the Greatest Video Game: Simpsons Road Rage

I don't think I am saying anything crazy here, but I was a big Simpsons fan growing up. My formative years were in the 90s and I would argue that in the 90s and early 00s Simpsons was at its peak. It has since deteriorated amidst the glut of animated shows that have mimicked it and gained popularity, and new episodes seem to lean more into pop culture and celebrity guest stars in order to keep the train chugging, but boy oh boy when I think back to watching to lets say a 1997 episode of either Homer going to New York, or Bart and class getting stranded on a desert Island, I truly believe that was the peak.

What does that have to do with the conversation for the greatest game of all time? Well, as obsessed as I was with the Simpsons, it also meant that I had to own and play all the Simpsons Video games. What if there was one that could capture what I love from the show, but allow me to be in control of the action? It took me longer then I would care to admit, but most Simpson's games sucked (I'm still holding out hope for Krusty's funhouse on the SNES, but I haven't replayed it yet).

When I got the original XBOX for Christmas, one of the first games I got was Simpsons Road Rage. I doubt I read reviews, and I probably didn't know that this was a lame rip-off of Crazy Taxi, and was instead wowed by the prospect of controlling side characters instead of just the Simpsons family. "Wait, you are telling me I can play as Groundskeeper Willy, or Moe the Bartender? Sign me Up!" I remember playing this game against my dad and letting him win a couple of rounds, because lets be honest Kids are always better at games. My kids will one day beat me in every game we play together, even if it is this mess.

I still have that original XBOX, and I still have Simpsons so lets give it a quick review.

As alluded to earlier, this is Crazy taxi with a Simpsons skin. Pick a driver, and then cruise around picking up people and dropping them off at destinations, all while the game timer ticks to 0.00. You get more money the faster you go, and the farther away their destination is, but you are always fighting a losing battle, and eventually the run will end. You are given a arcade score, a grade, and a chance to use your earnings to unlock levels, or cars. Your ultimate goal is to get a combined score of $1,000,000 in which case you get a closing cut scene, but there is no story. The other type of mode is, uh, lets call it a puzzle mode, where you are given an objective to achieve in a time limit. Perhaps you need to hit log piles to stop logging in the forest (not a real effective way of stopping trees from being cut down), or rush a drunk Homer back to work, without getting hit by Mr Smithers.

I wasn't going to sit and play this game to max out the 1,000,0000. I already did that in the past, and I figured just showing off the mode was enough to refresh my memory on ranking it. However, I could play the "Puzzle" mode to completion and claim it would get me familiar enough to rank the game.

Its a borderline Meh of a game. The humor gets repetitive quick (much like the game), the puzzle missions vary from simple, to incredibly frustrating, where they only allow you 1 more second then necessary to make a perfect run. It is a time sink of a game, and not that you get lost in the game and time drifts away behind you, but rather that you have to play forever to 100% it, and it is not a game that gets better with multiple playthroughs. Honestly if you booted this up with a friend and played for an hour, you probably would have a good time (assuming you like the Simpsons), but anymore time you dedicate to this game after that will make it fall in your own personal list.

So where does it rank? This is another easy one, there is only one other game on the list and it is the original Mario game. Even if I ignore what Mario did for video games as a whole (and I do try to ignore that, to make the list fair) there is no way that Simpsons is a better game or even that it offers more fun. Mario can be beaten in 2 hours, and Simpsons may take you 20 to unlock everything, but that is 19 more hours then you would ever need.

Greatest Game of all time ranking:

1. Super Mario Bros (NES)

2. The Simpsons Hit and Run (Multiple)

In case you are interested here is a link to the video Simpsons Road Rage

Thanks for listening,

Phil

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