Better half of a decade clubs

Consoles whose “replacements” arrived more than five years after

Shout out to fellow community member bigscorates for their relative new Switch blog inspired me to make this list. Well, that plus how I might need to replace the computer I am typing on and the phone with shorter battery life…

Introduction: the more than one “death of console”

Three, to be precise, with the first being “console is dead to me”. Even though I am the dumbass who “one more run” in Hades 2 early access until 2 in the morning on work days, home console simply had been fitting into my life style for the last decade. With video games having increasingly long cut scenes to go with it larger and emptier spaces, I stop considering being pinned on a coach for those as entertainment. Lying in bed or stock in commute are about the only places suitable for those long-winded pieces.

Then, there is how this industry has been pining for the death of console in the last 2 decade or so. It's funny to see that people back in 2006 were already considering the possibility of console being replaced by something lese. Yet that kind of hardware still has serious money behind it. The money will likely to be pulled sooner or later like it was pulled for many things before. But with the so-called life cycles being as long as they are now, “later” it will be. Which lead the third “death”, those “the king is dead, long live the king” moments of so-called next-gen hardware out on the market.

“Console generation” used to feel like a fixed period of time to me. It usually takes 5 years for the PS2s of the world to replace the PS1s. Just a little digging had made such assumption go away. The whole thing just feels very bloody slippery. Now the year counts down below would be loose, and while the Wikipedia pages I looked up also provide “discontinue dates”, those just are not as exciting as the dates when new pieces of hardware come out. So, the days replacements or intended replacements come out will mark the ends here.

9-year club: the one and only as far as my limited knowledge goes

Gameboy

As someone born in the year 1990, I can barely consider color as a technological advancement in audio-visual media. After all, my parents were already born into the world of color film in the 1960s. Which is to say that how young video game as a media form that the ability to display more colors was a legit advancement in the 1990s. Heck, Gameboy the monotone handheld has a successor in the one finally got colors according to Wikipedia.

Not much to say about this one, since I only played one game even remotely connected to it. 2019’s Link’s Awakening. While I am sure it was mind-blowing to have a pretty polished action adventure on the go, the game’s opaque “its ways or the highway” design ain’t exactly entertainment for me. Still got to respect the one laid the foundation that eventually would lead to Steam Deck, heh?

8-year club: dirty pair

While the following 2 both enjoyed almost a decade of fame and gain, they were both built on failed predecessors who only lasted 4 years. Both can also be seen as quite the shit stirrers as well.

One Xbox360

Ah, yes, no one can forget their “firsts”. I still remember the mild summer day in June, 2009 when I dragged this SOB home and became the first console I own. And for some damned reason I still associate it with Micheal Jackson’ death.

360 is good machine with a good library of games. It might be looked back as the only period of time when Playstation’s dominance in the home console market was challenged. I certainly would have not been bullshitting about video games as a hobby if I had not played so bloody much on it.

However, I also found out about how long in the teeth a console can be past its Year Five with this one. By 2011, so-called third party titles stopped running too smoothly here. Despite being marketed as “console friendly”, EA and Crytek’s Crysis 2 was obviously the poster child of “better on PC”. Even games play fine here like Batman Arkham City loved to put some “See how much more visual flair you can have on PC” features. And pop-ins in the exclusive Gears 3 signified that even Epic themselves cannot make Unreal Engine Three cope with this machine too well.

Two Switch

In some ways, jury is still out on this one by late March, 2025. The bloody thing just entered its nineth year with Switch 2 might or might not come within 2025. However, saying this thing is long in the teeth would be an understatement. Yours truly thought it needed an upgrade since 2022’s Bayonetta 3. And I got to say it’s far less excusable than Xbox 360, since the latter would not send out legal “death squads” for people who want their games run better on personal computers. In fact, the latter was probably happy about people double-dipping.

In many ways, Switch cashed in the “home console experience on the go” paycheck that the 2 Playstation handhelds wrote. With Link walking out into the first plain in Breath of Wild, this one told whoever held it: you got a big boy console of yesteryear on your hands. Though yours truly did not fully take in the “console” aspect until hearing fully voiced lines in Puyo Puyo Teris… Cannot say I care enough about Nintendo franchises to line up for the next one, but many thanks to the much joy this one offered.

7-year club: the standard that is

As one can see this is far from a period starting now. But with the next Xbox reportedly due for 2027, it’s likely the circle still followed in these days. Guess Nintendo cannot be called a trend setter if they didn’t do this circle first, heh.

One PS3

Of all five Playstation home consoles, number 3 here was the only one which had legit hiccup. From the infamous “five ninety-nine, ninety-nine” price announcement to Ken “the once face of Playstation” Kutaragi getting the boot, this one had rougher early years even than number 5 coping with a global pandemic. Then Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare became the first first-person shooter with more 10 million copies sold thanks to the contributions made by PS3 owners and the console finally got back on its foot like a solider.

Since the generation of PS3 and Xbox 360, the so-called “console war” had became obsolete. It’s the era when those consoles started to share a larger library of games than their respective exclusives. Being an Xbox 360 owner throughout that generation, I did play some on a borrowed PS3. However, the most I know about this one comes from buying one second handed in 2014, to play through Metal Gear Solid 4 Guns of Patriot before its setting turned from near future to alternative history. Then there is the “got to see Last of Us for myself”. Those so-called exclusive masterpieces are underwhelming as fuck on the system seller front. I don’t think I missed much by rolling the dice on 360.

Two PS4

Ah, yes Sony’s big comeback. I got to say if Microsoft had bought SEGA it would have been weird to me since the first 2 PS4 games I saw credits roll were from the hardware maker turned third party, namely 2020’s Sakura War soft reboot and 13 Sentinels. Deeper than any first party prestige stuff, I also dipped into that Fist of the North Star themed Yakuza spinoff.

However, I did buy this one in 2015 to play Witcher 3 and that game’s length made me realize that there is no chance I am ever going to pinned in front a console for such long time. I started both Persona 5 vanilla and Royal on this one, only to see credits roll on Switch much later. And there is the terrible download speed of PSN. All leading to number 4 being the last Playstation home console I am even going to buy.

Three PSP

However, I won’t mind a Playstation handheld, as long as it has a better library than its 2 predecessors. Portable did have more decent library in Japan, with PS1 titles ported there outside Sony’s Classics library I meant, like Rockman Dash/ Megaman Legends. Those were released on UMDs rather than digital only.

The dream of one-in-all handheld entertainment device did not die with Portable and Vita, it just transformed into something more irreplaceable like smart phones. Switch won almost by focus.

Four Xbox One

Wow, when I started this list, this unforgivable piece of shit was almost forgotten. No, I do not give one single flying fuck about what it did to the Xbox brand. Its user interface is simply the worst I ever have the misfortune to encounter. No respectable brand would put such a shitty UI into their products I dare to claim. No way to turn off the running game, and mandatory upgrade during playing section? Oh, Microsoft! You made the gutter you are lying in, pal.

Five FamiCom

No, not exactly Nintendo Entertainment System which came years later. It was the one known as Family Computer in Japan that lasted that long. Despite the fact that old guards such Jeff Grestamnn lived the “before days”, it is still fair to say that FamiCom/NES started “video games as we know it”. It’s certainly how we here at miHoYo’s country of origin knew it. I remembered seeing the system in 2 cousins’ homes. And what do you know, Nintendo is still milking the brands started on this. Except PokeMon of course, that one started on Gameboy.

Six Nintendo Dual Screen

It’s bit to tell if NDS had ridden the touch screen wave or was washed up on shore by it. In terms of handheld dedicated to video games, Game Boy Advance was still the only game in town when this one smashed its way onto the market. Guess it’s an arms race against PSP, Nintendo was in.

I never owned this one, though I played 2 games. One being Ghost Trick, perfectly playable on a 3DS, another being Castlevania Dawn of Sorrow through the 2024 re-release on Switch. The latter really make the touch screen just being the second joy stick point.

6-year club: the standard that was

Like you stated above, consoles at their sixth years can feel long in the teeth. Whether the game performs not as smoothly or just looks bit dodgy. Most of the following did know that thus their placements was released accordingly.

One PS

The one “started” the polygonal era by doing it mostly right. By 2025, we are in the era where PS1’s blocky yet obviously well-considered polygonal models are what people nostalgic about. Square Soft certainly labored hard on this one. Resident Evil franchise also started here. And most of us would not give a shit about Metal Gear had the series’ polygonal soft reboot not broken any ground in 1998. I mean Sony still enjoys the solid foundation this one made today.

Two PS2

Playstation is a brand sure closed the 20th century well and started the 21st on high note. The high waves Japanese developers ride on nowadays are all about recreating things from this generation with rough edges filed off and utter bullshit cut out. Heck, Capcom’s Okami 2 will be a sequel to something close the PS2 generation on a high note. “Character action” pretty much started on this one and so did the “over-the-shoulder orthodoxy”. One cannot be nostalgic about PS2 simply because the 70-buck packaged goods nowadays does operate on the rules set by it still.

Three Super Nintendo Entertainment System

Speak of building one’s own legacy on a solid foundation, Nintendo’s 16-bit smash hit is certainly one example. While Japanese Role-playing Games never stop evolving, the genre already had well-established rules on the SNES. This is also where Metrovania started with a map menu to fit up, abilitease in term of “come back later with your new tool” and all that jazz. It is certainly something people cab build a Golden Age myth on. Too bad polygons came to halt some progress, heh?

Four Wii

Guess this one was born long in the teeth as Nintendo quitted the spec arms race and instead sold on gimmick. It paid off great for I guess as in early 2009, my father’s workplace was giving out Wiis as Lunar New Year bonus…Being thirsty for cutting edge little shit I was, the console was given to one of my aunts immediately.

I suppose 2005’s Resident Evil 4 ported to this one was opening the floodgate for the game. Wii’s large sale number did make both Sony and Microsoft take motion control detour, one might argue that the latter never recovered from said detour. Coupling the Wii basically being a Gamecube with Xbox 360 only supporting DVD, one can also argue that the linear spec arms race mentality was somehow halted in the mid to later aughts.

Five 3DS

3DS was obviously sold both on gimmick and spec arms race. It certainly tried to eat PSP’s home console on the go lunch as well with so many third-party titles. A Link Between Worlds is about the only Legend of Zelda branded game I enjoyed. And buying this one in 2014 certainly marked the beginning of yours truly trying to care about Nintendo brands. The decade long process had obviously failed now I got no desire to purchase Switch 2 whatsoever. Oh well, thanks for hosting the definitive edition of Snake Eater control scheme wise.

Certain to pass 5 club: the lousy current status this industry is in

And now this is where history ends for the moment and news begins. The 2 current-gen consoles do not fit into my life. I mean I certainly found myself more willing to bullshit about video games without owning them.

But you might want to say why do I think they both are certain to pass 5, dear readers, and my answer is marketing circle. The last 2 pre-release marketing circles I have been aware of to be more precise. By March, 2013, PS4 had its reveal event in New York (A time when I became aware of Giantbomb as well I might add) and Bioshock Infinite had shown that Xbox 360 really ought to be put down behind some shed now. By March, 2020, Xbox “what’s it name” had been revealed during the Game Awards 2019 (Ah, innocent time without knowing how much more of curse than blessing announcement at Keighley’s truly is.) As the time of writing in March, 2025, nothing from neither Sony nor Microsoft. This generation being the worst possible combination of long in the teeth and barely started does not help.

One Xbox Series X/S

With even the pandemic lockdown boredom not able to wash down the long slug titled DOOM Eternal, it was baffling as to why Microsoft was buying Bethesda. My guess would be Todd Howard and core crew happily paid not to develop for Playstation given the news about how much worse Skyrim was on PS3. There was the 2 years long Activision saga.

I mean I did not like the sound of it one bit back in 2021. Activision’s Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare ate Halo 3’s lunch back in 2007. That was still the peak point for Halo franchise. So Microsoft was pulling some “If we cannot beat them, we will buy them“ bullshit. How little historic significance mattes to corporate greed, heh?

Jason Schreier had told Nextlander that the final chapter on the aftermath of 2024 layoff in Play Nice: the Rise, Fall and Future of Blizzard Entertainment was almost one last-minute addition. As someone who read the book before listening to that podcast, I can tell. The penultimate chapter was wrapping things up in a bow with a bright outlook under new management, then the reality of “meet the new boss, worse than the old”.

What’s that? Say something about this console? Oh well, the fucking thing had underwhelming showcase back in, what was that, May or was it June, 2020. Nothing since improved that impression. On top of that, why would I support that companies cable of the aforementioned bullshit? While my work life cannot go on without Windows, my leisure time sure as fuck can without Xbox.

Two PS5

Oh well, it’s not to end this on a high note. I mean PS5’s initial showcase back in 2020 was as underwhelming. But I guess more often than not, Sony’s State of Play can be a good place to look if one wants to know something coming to Steam.

Sony Interactive Entertainment sure had taken detours in recent years, judging from all those canceled projects. Surprisingly enough the biggest reason to get this console is the seemingly humble Astro Bot, instead of the Prestige bullshit the company had been pushing and the Live-service bullshit they tried to. With no nostalgia for Playstation brands nor children in my household, this is simply unacceptable.

(In the order of their releases)