Welcome to the second official blog post of TNDnD, the only blog officially licensed to write about unofficial Giant Bomb Dungeons & Dragons sessions! (Not actually licensed or official).

Our second session was designed to be a bit shorter than the first, since it had to take place a bit later in the day due to today being a day where there'll literal ripping of teeth out of my head(thanks wisdom teeth!). Making it quite a bit simpler overall than the political intrigue from the first session.

The Opener

The game opened on a scene where a group of goblins, from behind cover, were lying in wait to ambush a wagon coming down a dirt path. The fun twist-y bit was that role of the goblins was played by the players of the group. A silly gimmick, but I secretly enjoyed it.

A cart comes up the path, with 6 guards escorting it. The goblins are in hiding in bushes, three on one side of the path, two on the other.

"Your orders from Gokt, your leader, were clear: "Kill everyone. Take Everything"

The goblin group easily manages to decimate the cart and the guards, largely in part thanks to a decisive firebolt by Zarnk (Played by Hildegaard) that ignited Dwarven ale in the back of the cart, creating a large explosion that knocked most of the guards prone.

After cleaning up the remaining security, the goblins find a chest in the back of the remains of the cart. They manage to pry the chest open, revealing that it is filled with various coins and gems, worth 194 gold in total. Gurg (Ghengis) sees the gold, pulls a scimitar, yells "BACKSTAB!" in goblin, just as the scene ends.

Back to our Adventurers

The scene opens with our adventurers in the office of Vicar Adolman, who you may remember is both the captain of the guard and the person who's in charge of all the adventurers within the city. The group is there to get information about the goblin hunting job, and find out that goblins have become more bold recently, attacking caravans entering and leaving the city with unusual frequency.

"The roads have never been "safe", but usually if you have a few guards goblins won't bother coming close. Something has been motivating these new raids, and I want you to see what it is." -Vicar

On their way out of Vic's office, Hildegaard notices a dejected looking Lennix Thombend sitting in a holding cell off to the side. The party, thoroughly satiated from their previous dealings with Lenny, opt to just let him rot in his cell and head out into the city.

Before heading out, Rurik decides to go and find some shop where he can get a shiny new shield, with which he can bring his armor class up to a much more respectable 15. He stumbles upon a shop called "Asdig Aristdotr's Adventure Emporium" where he meets... Well, Asdig. Asdig is a female dwarf with messy red hair who wears sensible-looking purple clothing and thick glasses which magnify her grey eyes to great detail. She also has a black pet rat who hangs out on the counter. Because that's something any store should have.

"I have exactly what you need! Give me a second. *Runs to a room in the back* *Loud clattering sounds* *The sound of a crate spilling its contents on the ground* "Aha! Found it!!!" -Asdig

Freshly shielded, the party heads out the north gate of the city into the grasslands beyond.

Wherein the Adventurers Find a Cave

After about 2 hours of montaged walking the party predictably stumbles upon the cart from the beginning of the game. Hildegaard, a trained expert in goblin tracking... Actually fails the check to track the goblins. Luckily, Sivi with her goddamn ridiculous rolling skills manages to pick up on the trail of the goblins, which was marked by loose coins and a blatant lack of any attempt to cover footprints.

The trail leads the group to a cave, where there are two nearsighted goblins standing watch from behind a pair of wooden barriers. Hildegaard, using a crude goblin costume she crafted during her time off (basically, just a green carrot and some shoddy ears) manages to draw one of the goblins into an ambush. The second goblin falls soon thereafter.

Having taken care of the guards, the party notices a secondary entrance to the cave, hidden behind some bushes. Hildegaard, being a halfling and therefore well suited for crawling in tight spaces, goes through the tunnel, while the rest of the party analyzed the situation from the front entrance. From their vantage points, the adventurers all see 5 goblins, sitting around a campfire, 4 of them looking like they'd just been in a fight.

The group comes up with a plan: Rurik will bang his shield to draw the attention of the goblins, while Hildegaard moves in from the side to catch them by surprise. It's foolproof.

"Come out to plaaaaaaaay!" -Rurik

Combat happens! It's exciting! The humans quickly learn that a lack of night vision really sucks when one of the goblins puts out the fire in the middle of the room using a bucket of water, but the entire party inevitably prevails over the derpy goblins.

With the threat taken care of, the party takes a short rest, and Rurik searches a chest in the room, finding a vial of Alchemist's Fire. The group then moves further into the cave system.

Wherein the Adventurers Find a Tiger

In the next area of the cave, the party stumbles upon a tiger being kept in a rather small cage. Sivi, being a friend to animals of all types, lays a trail of food leading deeper into the cavern, before opening the cage to release the large feline. The tiger seems grateful, eats the food, and wanders off deeper into the cave.

This ends up being a bad thing.

The party, before walking after the tiger, goes up a side path in the cave, where two goblins attempt to attack the group from the shadows. The goblins die incredibly fast, shocking the DM and motivating him to put 5 goblins next time.

The side path holds the chest from the beginning portion of the game (with slightly less gold than before), thieves' tools, and a mysterious pair of gloves. After Ghengis spends some time looking at them, but cannot manage to figure out what they are. Rurik, despite not having ANY magical background, immediately identifies them as Gloves of Thievery, which lets folks who can't lockpick, pick locks.

Bolstered by the new loot, the group ventures deeper into the cave.

Wherein the Adventurers Find an Enormous Fire

Doing some scouting ahead, the group finds the final room of the cave, where 2 bow goblins stand guard around a throne, on which a larger goblin sits, petting his pet tiger. The group, at this time, comes up with a brilliant plan. No seriously. I'm the proudest DM.

The group takes the bedrolls from the first room, and arranges them along the narrow hall out of the throne room. Sivi then lures the goblins out from the room, leading them onto the bedroll gauntlet, which is then set ablaze by a well-placed firebolt by Ghengis.

The entire group of goblins and tiger were all defeated in two turns. These players are shockingly deadly.

Within the room, the adventurers discover the following:

• A note on a desk within the room, encouraging raids from the goblins, signed "L. T."
• A throne, clearly made by professionals for royalty
• A fine bed... With goblin pornography hidden in the sheets. (Sivi takes it for research)

Sivi also skins the tiger, with a roll of 6... So not so great. But tiger skin! Yaaaaay

Having completed their adventure, the party decides to head back into town to collect their reward, safe in the knowledge that nothing could possibly go wrong.

Wherein Things Go Horribly Wrong

"They're gone!" -Vicar

So, turns out, while the adventurers were out killing goblins, a few things happened.

• The powder Vic confiscated was totally bliss, so he went to Lord Tybalt's manor for an explanation
• Tybalt, turns out, has been missing since the party from last session.
• Vic comes back to his office, only to find that both Lennix and the assassin are both missing as well.
• Vicar has been berating the guards for gross incompetence.

Click here to hear the nonsense. (There be swears in here).

Both Sivi and Ghengis split up to find information on what has happened, while Rurik goes off into the woods to hone his body and mind for upcoming battle.

What's Next?

The group is going to have to play Sherlock and try and figure out what has happened. Where have the missing people gone? Are they working together? How did all of this happen in the span of a day?

The only way to find out is to come back to the next session of Tuesday Night Dee-en-Dee!