It ate my dollar. I had a 10 minute break from class to grab a quick snack. The pickings were pretty slim, no more pretzels, so I went with the M&Ms.
 
I watched that little spindle turn, and it caught at the very end. 
 
It's a dollar, I know. But god, I HATE BEING CHEATED. I'm not an angry person, I'm a quiet, laid-back, gentle guy. But nothing can send me from calm to blind RAGE like someone trying to cheat me. I suspect that they use those bullshit twisting spindles to maximize stuck objects, and encouraging people to buy a second item to free the hostage item. They could just as easily have used square plates as separators to cleanly push items off the ledge.  
 
I considered my options:
1) Smash the vending machine - Too many witnesses around, my first unarmed attacks rang throughout the lounge and into the lobby like gunshots. I'd have to grab a table or chair to open it properly and get my goddamn dollar's worth.
 
2) Push the machine over - It was snugly tucked into a niche, back against the wall. No room to rock it. Googling my options later on revealed that the machines are weighted to prevent tilting to recover items, apparently vending machines companies kill several people every year this way. 
 
3) Sabotage - There was no way I would get my dollar's worth back. The only way to get justice would be destruction of property to a) offset the dollar they stole from me, b) consider the loss of a dollar from me, and c) to punish them for designing their machines in a way to increase the volume of stuck objects. I considered that minor damages to reduce the machine's fair market value would be so minor that the damage would require addressing. At minimum, I would have to insert foreign objects into the coin slot, or place gum in the dollar slot. It was coincidental that a classmate offered me gum just as I was silently lamenting the fact that I didn't have any gum to jam into the machine. I considered smashing a TV in the lobby, but I recognized that this would be unacceptable collateral damage since I'm sure the school had no intention of cheating me and merely offered a standard vending machine for the convenience of the students.
 
Then doubt set in as I considered the possibility that damages could be billed to the school rather than the vending machine company. Presumably this is the most likely business arrangement.
 
So I had to simply deal with my rage without release. I missed at least 20 minutes of critical lecture material while my mind boiled over with frustration and anger. Still, some part of my mind was still rational enough to realize that this was just 1 dollar, and that I would probably waste that kind of money through inefficient purchasing decisions before the end of the day anyway. But it still stuck in my craw that these sons of bitches STOLE MY GODDAMN DOLLAR!!!! It's just a dollar, but it's MY GODDAMN DOLLAR!!!!
 
But I suppose I have to be an "adult" about it. Nothing came of the event, and I committed no crimes. I cooled off, and I guess I should be thankfully that the situation presented itself in a manner that prevented me from getting fined or arrested over a dollar.

Your dollar has my prayers.

This is a phenomenal blog post.  Can we continue this story?  We'll supply you with options and ideas on our quest, you get back to us with your liquid smooth writing and let us know what happened? :D
 
Besides that, in all honesty I hate this too - I just ask a janitor or someone who's around that's bound to have keys.  Of course, you could always just go with your option three.

Used to happen to me all the time at work when I was on my breaks. What you do is thrust yourself at the machine (not the glass window part)using your hip bone until the little bastard falls. I have seen a co-worker go through the glass however because he was trying to hard.