By krummey 3 Comments
So, Will made a joke on Twitter about tricking me into writing his GOTY for him one day. Naturally, I responded by saying I would be happy to, because it would be a really stupid, and possibly funny thing to do. And thus, this now exists. I assume he meant that I write it as if I was him, but I dunno! The games chosen are all his, but the words are all mine. It's meant purely in jest, and for fun. And I wrote it in twenty minutes.
Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare
Now that I'm an old man with a job where I spend all day delivering stuff, I don't have a whole lot of time to play games. That's why I usually play games on easy, but not this one. Why? Trophies or something, I dunno. They laughed at me, but I showed them! I beat it on Veteran, even if it took me a long time that was mostly because I was too busy! Now that Trophy is mine!
Playing it online with my weirdo friends is fun too. Oh, and with Moosey too. He's such a handsome and smart fellow.
South Park: The Stick of Truth
You know what RPGs usually are? Long and hard. You don't have time for those when you're me, so that's why I liked that one. Able to breeze through it and laugh at that well known humor that South Park is known for. Or something.
Part of being old and having a job means that I have a son. Or was that the alcohol? I'm not sure now, all these years later, but I am sure that playing Nidhogg with my son was a blast. Yeah, the game is kinda simple, and there's not a whole lot to it, but fun is fun. And it mixes well with bear. I mean beer. I may have been drinking.
Middle-Earth: Shadow of Mordor
Stabbing orcs is fun, especially when they yell at me like those British friends I somehow started talking with online this year. They're all, "ELLO ELLO." Or something, I don't really remember.
Fantasia something something
I drink a lot. I mean, a lot. Just enough that I'm drunk a substantial amount of the time, but not so much that child services has ever had to be alerted. Anyway, sometimes when I'm drunk I need pretty colors and sounds to come from my TV, and this game does a good job of doing that. I keep telling people that it's fun, but no one believes me. Maybe they just don't drink enough.
Games that I "liked" that could have padded a top ten.
I didn't finish many games this year, but here's a few that I probably could have if I had more time.
Far Cry 4
I played some of this game in co-op with my dashing friend Moosey, and we had a lot of fun doing stupid stuff. Shooting stuff, blowing stuff up, driving into things. Lots of fun. But there's also a lot of collectibles in this game. And you know how I said I don't really have the time to be playing a lot of games, or long games? Doesn't help that I feel compelled to find everything. I mean EVERYTHING. I need it. NEED IT. I've still got a lot of this game left. I'd probably have done it if I could do the story missions in co-op. Then Moosey could do all the work while I watch him be dashing and brave.
Wolfenstein: The New Order
Shooting Nazis is fun.
Making numbers bigger is fun. And it's nice to have something other than Twitter on my phone for when I'm drinking and watching sports. Or when it's not my turn in board games. Actually, that's a lie, I'm usually playing the mobile versions of board games in between turns of those. And Twitter. I spend a lot of time on Twitter.
inFAMOUS: Second Son
Stuff blows up and it looks real purdy. Is purdy a thing that people still say? Do I live south or mid-west enough for it to be appropriate for me to say that? Oh well!
Game I would have included if a Top Six didn't bother me.
Remember when I said that I drink a lot? Yup, goes real well with this game. Also helped me realized that my young son is quickly developing a possibly dirty mind like his old man. That might be a bad thing. Hm...
Game that stole my best CoD buddies.
I did actually play some of this game. Mostly with my son. It's okay, I guess. But a bunch of people I knew just couldn't stop playing it. Like Moosey, which I don't understand because usually he's so smart and charming he doesn't make dumb mistakes like that. Only smart mistakes, like me!
Game that I'll enjoy most with The Dude.
Halo: The Master Chief Collection.
I was never really that big into Halo over the years, but it's a fun game to play split-screen with my son. I call him The Dude. I really wanted to name him Thad, but his mother didn't want that, so we went with something normal. Not that I call him that, but never mind.
Game I bought that I am least likely to play.
Dragon Age: Inquisition.
I'm pretty bad with money. If something goes on sale, I'll probably buy it, even if I'm never going to play it. It's a good thing I'm a madman with no PC, otherwise I'd have bought everything on Steam by now. No, really, I don't have a PC, that's not just me being drunk and not remembering.
You know what I did after I bought this game? Started playing Dragon Age. Origins. Because clearly I can't just jump into the third one, I need to play the other two first. I'll get to Inquisition sometime around 2023, probably.
Games I should have played.
It's a point and click game like when I was a kid!
It's a weird anime game I probably shouldn't play around my wife.
It's a weird anime game I shouldn't play around my wife.
It's a weird anime game I can't play around my wife!
Best "New-To-Me" game.
I forget why I started playing this game, but I ended up liking it a whole lot. So much that I got that Platinum Trophy.
Most Satisfying Platinum Trophy.
All of Mass Effect
This Platinum was more satisfying, though. Because it's three games! Three really great games, anyway. I wish more games were as good as Mass Effect. Also, it taught me an important lesson about fatherhood. The real reason you have children is so they can grind Trophies or Achievements for you. Why should I get the multiplayer one when I can just let my son play it for a while and he can get it for me?
So, that's it! Nothing else to see! This'll probably never happen again because why would I let Moosey write anything for me ever again after that?