[Disclaimer: 99% of this blog post is satire, do not attempt to take seriously or look into it deeply.]
G.O.D pure (Gently Otherwise Donated)
Now we know what we're dealing with.
FF7 Rip-off So here's some game, it's called G.O.D pure (the G.O.D part apparentaly stands for Grilled Over Done or something like that), and i'll give you a quick review of it in about 2 minutes. I don't speak japanese, so i'll judge the game based on the 3 and a half seconds i've played of it.
So the menu, i dunno it's....it's got 2 things...i pressed one and managed to start the game. Then i saw who made this game and told myself that if i ever got the chance, i'd tell them to release their game in english next time. So as i start the game, i see the moon (or some planet, probably uranus) and then it slowly moves away to reveal there's another planet behind it (might be earth, might not be).
You are a F . A . G . G . O . T So we next see some 3 year old in bed, and his momma's telling him something (probably how she hates him and wishes she'd used a rubber when she had sex with the town drunk), and there's like 3 boxes of text, which i think is just his mother telling him how much of a loser he is, and how he should've been a doctor or a lawyer, but he turned out to be a 9 year old, and all the other mothers made fun of her cause of this. We then get to name the little bastard, probably cause the mother didn't bother to when he was born (people probably just point at him to address him). There's alot of stuff i could call him, but i just ended up calling him 3 Upside-Down L's. Cause that's what you'd name a kid, right? Also he looks like Ness From Earthbound, which made me realize that Earthbound was actually in english so i finished naming him and tried to get this game over with so i could play a game i can understand.
So after walking around 4 rooms where i couldn't do anything, i finally talked to momma and she presented me with a list (probably the names of Foster Homes where i could go live), and then and there i accidentaly closed the game and went and played Earthbound. So this game...it's like a 3 and a half, visuals are cute and shit, there's some good family drama dialogue, and the kid looks like Ness from Earthbound, so it was pretty good. Join me next time, when i play some more stuff i randomly Okay...Closing the game now. found and decided to download.
So i've noticed this year i've piled through alot of games (either starting from scratch, or finishing games that i've started playing ages ago).
Among the list are
Final Fantasy 7, 8 & 9 (Spikey Haired Close Mouthed Monkey Tailed Main Characters, now in style!) Castlevania: Symphony of the Night (i finished the entire 100% run, and all i got was this inverted castle) Metal Gear Solid 3 (It's pretty Solid *wink wink*) Megaman Legends 1 (Do Not Fuck with the Bonnes) Resident Evil 1 (Rebecccccccccca!) Resident Evil: DS (compact Jill Sandwich Experience) Resident Evil 2 (Sorry Bout that Babe!) Resident Evil 3 (You want Stars? I'll give ya stars!) Grand Theft Auto 4 (Beeg Amerikan Teeteez) Resident Evil 5 (You're Gonna Judge Us? You Get All you Ideas from COMIC BOOK VILLAINS WOOOOHEYYYYYYYYYA) Street Fighter 4 (i played through arcade with all the characters, if that counts) Devil May Cry 4 (I should have been the one to fill your Repeated Gameplay Sections with LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!) Lost Planet: Colonies Edition (Fucking Akrid Scum) Borderlands (Ain't no rest for the wicked...or the guy who played through 3 times with different classes) Braid (The Prince wants his Sands of Time back please)
and...many, many, many, manymore.
But i'll give a brief on what i've been playing recently i guess. So here goes...
Batman:Arkham Asylum.
It's really good, suprised the hell out of me, and i can see where people are coming from with the Bioshock comparisons. It's very atmospheric, it's deeply rooted in the comic's history (which you won't need to be too knowledgable of to enjoy it), and it's got a good balance of gameplay that characterizes the Bat himself. From the Predator Stealth Sections which show off that Batman knows his way around the shadows, to the Fighting sections, which feel satisfying and show that you don't fuck with Batman, and finally the story-driven Detective Sections which show off that Batman truly is the 'world's greatest detective'. It's all around a solid game that doesn't bore you with overuse of any single mechanic, and the exploration aspect feels refreshing. Big suprise coming from Rocksteady Studios, who's previous game wasn't exactly what i'd call an award-winner. This may end up being my Game of the Year, but i'll need to play a few more games to be sure. I've finished the main game, but i'm still messing around with the fighting challenge rooms, which are hard.
Persona 3 & 4
I finished Persona 4 about a month ago, it was a serious romp for me. I started with that game in April, played for about 10 hours, and then put it down and didn't touch it for a while. Come summer, i played the hell out of it and had over 70 hours marked by this point, sadly school started again so i had to put it down again and went on hiatus. Finally in November i finished the game and i have to say, it's fucking fantastic. I haven't been this sucked into a JRPG's story since Final Fantasy VI, so that's saying something. I have a review written up for it if anyone wants to check it out, but in a word, if you like good games, you should probably check it out.
I started playing Persona 3 yesterday, and from the hour and a half that i've played, i like it. It definently has that quality behind it that i felt when playing Persona 4. First thing i really started digging was the J-Hop soundtrack, which i think is amazing. I've heard the dungeon crawling gameplay is quite different from what i've come to expect after playing P4, so i'm gonna have to get used to things like not having direct control over NPC party members, and other assorted things. I'll write a review for it once i'm done, which i'm hoping could be soon (if i don't get sidetracked with this, as i do with all good RPGs).
Red Faction: Guerrilla
It's the perfect 12-year old boy's fantasy. Blowing poo-poo up. It's great fun, although a bit weird when a toothpick holds the last piece of this gargantuan tower up that i've been mercilessly wailing with my sledgehammer, but oh well. It's also hard as hell, but that may be due to me picking hard mode. the physics of the world really is the one thing that keeps me playing, as any weapon that doesn't go KA-BOOM!! doesn't pack enough punch in my opinion. Story's ok, i like the way the cutscenes look, but other than that, plot doesn't seem like anything special. I managed to get a tiny bit of Multiplayer out of this game, which is sad that there's almost no one playing, as there are some quite fun modes and twists to the standard MP component with RF:G. Gonna try and finish this game up before New Year's, so we'll see what my final thoughts are.
The Saboteur
I really wanna like this game, it's got style, it's got character (not alot, but enough to get a feel for it) and it's got potential. So far the game's been kinda meh. I feel that Saboteur is an improvement over Assassin's Creed 1 in that style of game, but i've heard Assassin's Creed 2 is an even better improvement. Like Red Faction, not really digging any of the weapons that don't blow shit up, except machine guns and rifles. for a sandbox game like this, it feels like there aren't alot of missions to do. i've done about 25 so far, and i'm '60%' through the missions, but there are ALOT of 'ambient gameplay targets', which is some fancy way to describe poo-poo you can blow up/stab. i've done about 500 of them, and i'm like 48% done with all of those, just to give you an idea of how much stuff you are gonna have to blow up (especially if you're really OCD about stuff like that, which is the case for me). Yet another game i'm gonna want to finish up soon, it's a game that for better or worse, has franchise potential, and if anyone ever gets a Saboteur 2 off the ground, that fixes a bunch of the issues with the first game (that i'm neglecting to mention, but will if i write a review for the game), then it could truly be a pretty fun game. But so far, it's just 'ok'.
Operation Flashpoint 2: Dragon Rising
It's a weird sort of game, marketed to the PC crowd as more a sim, and the console crowd as more a 'tactical shooter'. It's not good at either, but it wiggles it's way through. One thing i can say off the bat is that the Codies team who developed this have done a better game than i fear Bohemia might've (after seeing ArmA 1 and 2). So it's got it's basic sim stuff like a few bullets can kill you and tactical menus and maps and whatnot, but the game takes a few turns to the unrealistic valley after some extended playing. An example of this is me driving in a jeep and ramming a tree, what is the outcome you ask? Why...the jeep bounces back like the tree were made of rubber (maybe i've been playing a Monkey Island FPS game all this time?), and there are times where the enemies can snipe me from miles away with assault rifles, and others were i am in an enemies face and they have no idea what to do. As a sim, it's not very good, As a shooter, it's ok. But it's not 'bad' in any stretch. 2 mission away from completing this so i can finally be done with it.
Anyway, that's all i've to mention for now, but i'm glad i managed to get all this text out of the way, my fingers were itching to get this off my mind.
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