Ok, not all of them are EPIC, just some random stuff I've come up with and having fun jotting down. Feel free to share or let me know what you think and every once in a while I'll update just to piss off any haters. LOL

1. Some times it's not about drawing blood. It's about how many buttons I can undo.
2. If there was ever a store that was simply named "VICE", all it would sell is good scotch and shoes.
3. DNF gets released in May and George Broussard returns to his timeline in peace after being exiled for 20 years. Finding a timeline where Randy Pitchford is successful was the tricky part.
4. The most attractive thing about an outfit is how challenging it looks to get off.
5. Celebrities really don't matter. They are just a pivotal point of failure most people can relate with.
6. Don't let my big phone intimidate you baby, I can fit anything into 140 chars.
7. The only apple product I've ever bought was a mac book for an old girlfriend. When I interacted with the device, I felt like I was having a conversation with a magician who was trying to convince me the software trickery would make up for the lack of quality in the hardware. It did not.
8. It takes skill to make sense to the people you get to despise you. That's what being an evil genius is all about.
9. Communism is nothing more than busy work.
10. I don't trust these guys. They believe I was born in 1903
11. That's some age verification humor..... moving on!
12. If man were meant to perfect the art of writing then we would be able to read in our dreams.
13. I warned you I'm on the ball =P
14. I want you to want me to be wrong. Only then will you think.
15. There's a difference between being observant and being an ass. When I look in the mirror I can't tell the difference.
16. You can't pay a man for something he's passionate about, but you can buy him a beer.
17. Sometimes when nobody wants to be involved with what you're doing, you feel that you finally have the privacy to attempt something worth doing.
18. Bad players ask "why did the rogue disappear?" Good players anticipate where the rogue will reappear.
19. You don't need booze as long as you've got plenty of crazy.
20. Why should I believe anything you have to say with relevance to my PvP experience when you never even learned how to PvP on the forums first?
21. Oh and for anyone out of the culture loop, just consider Duke our modern day "Elvis". He's
22. worshiped in that white trash way that will always make him a legend no matter if he's the classic Duke, comeback Duke, or fat Duke.
23. You don't become smarter the older you get. You become more clever the older you get.
24. If I had purchased a console this gen it would have been a PS3. I'll take bat-shit crazy, egotistical, overpriced, self-destructive, arrogant, bug eyed, corporate stooges over money hat wearing megalomaniacs who sabotage their own perfect gaming platform in order to push their DRM and DLC agendas on an inferior "multimedia box" while spoon feeding dudebros the most 3rd hand, 3rd world, made in Mexico, RROD, pieces of monkey shit this side of the mississippi. Holy shit, where's the tylenol?
25. Impractical.... a total badass knows no meaning of the word.
26. I have the ability to laugh at myself. It's what makes me a fool, and invincible.
27. If that tee-shirt about "real" hackers said... "All I served was 2 years and got this tee- shirt along with a shiny new ID badge and 140k a year" then it would be more accurate. Or, even better this idea for a tee-shirt of my own. Front: "Went to prison for playing with numbers." Back: "Now I make more numbers than you" /trollface logo
28. In order to have a "bullet proof" idea it has to be Original. The only thing that can defeat that idea, is something more original.
29. People who remove themselves from reality never change. They simply, disappear.
30. The problem with most hackers is they want credit for their work. There in lies the folly.
31. Only when I'm wrong do others think, because when I'm wirght I've done the thinking for you.
32. Just call the good hackers, Deckers. Problem solved.
33. Well, I'm now famous in a weird way. My dick is on the internet and I didn't put it there. I came across an old picture of me and my first gf. Blew my fucking mind.
34. DLC is no different than a nip of scotch or a fine cigar. Every man has a vice, every fool has his price.
35. The only difference between a politician and a someone with a career in marketing is the guy from marketing doesn't get beheaded/jailed after he's fired.
36. Imagine a time when free products didn't try to infect your computer with vicious legal malware all in some feeble attempt to frustrate you into purchasing their product.
37. This had a lot less suck than anticipated.
38. Dogs, we always out-live them but they always out-love us.
39. Only an idiot would go into a gun fight with a knife. Sadly, the rest of my team is the knife.
40. Being loyal to the PC is a lot like still being loyal to Great Britain if you live in another country. People might look at you funny, but you have to admit the best Music, Styles, Trends, and Pop-Culture have all come out of the UK in the past 40 years, and still do.
41. Tonight I was going to try something completely different. Thinking with my dick.
42. It's nothing new or impressive but it's about damn time for some more of it when done like this.
43. I wanted to fu*k you like a little whore, but I can't help but want to tuck you in with a kiss.
44. Arrogance is delicious. You can either sip and savor it at someone elses expense, or you can join them and wallow in it. When you try to rationalize it tho, it's just another david statue with the penis broken off.
45. This thread is a premade if we all agree.
46. There really is no such thing as trolling. You're either crying wolf, or in sheep's clothing.