How to Win a Bar Fight
The definitive list.
List items
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If you don't have one of these, you have already lost (women are exempt from this requirement). If you go and attempt to start a bar fight, you may die. If the other guy has a beard, his beard may be able to kill you just by making eye contact, depending on said beard's level of epicness. So grow one! If only for your own safety!
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Step one.
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Add this.
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Step 3.
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Some of this.
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Step 4.
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And this.
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You'd never make it without this.
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I feel that this is needed also.
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What the crap is my old bank doing on this list?!
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Step 5.
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Step 6.
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Oh yeah, baby!
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Step 7.
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Obviously. This should have been step 1, or maybe even .5.
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All bets are off when this wild cat is in the house!
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Step 8.
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Step 1. That's right. Step 1. Mace doesn't take crap, so he is also step 1.
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Throw it at them! Throw it!
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If a Wookiee will pull your arms out of their sockets, a Yeti would pull them so hard, and so fast, that your chest might collapse into a miniature black hole!
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That'll help.
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Steps 21-26. He's just that good.
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Step 37. Wait...37?! What happened to all of those other steps?!
...
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...Oh, I remember now. This guy is Steps 27-36. What a behemoth.
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Damn right! Larry will jack you up!
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I will never attempt a bar brawl without this beast at my side again.
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ESPECIALLY if the bar is located in any kind of graveyard or necropolis.
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Always comes in handy.
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What? That damn car salesman is on my list too?! WHAT??!!!
...Moving on...
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You don't have to agree with him. Just bring him to any bar you plan to fight in.
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A regular drunken brawler, who also happens to eat people.
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ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY FOR SURVIVAL!
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Step 38.
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Just one will do.
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Duh...
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Did somebody order an arse-kicking?!
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Step 39.
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Steps 40-60. Yes, he's that good.
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Just for kicks.
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Step 61.
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What would this all be without the unstoppable, hulking dominance of Lara Croft's creepy, yet endearing, elderly butler?
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Step 62.
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This guy is always up for a good fight.
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It's on now!
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Her bar fight prowess just might surprise you.
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Not sure who that is...
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Step 63.
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Step 64.
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When he's not threatening the free world with annihilation, he's pounding beers and pounding on fellow bar patrons.
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