I am currently 31 years old. I am married, own my own house and have an 18 month old daughter. We live a fairly lower/middle class lifestyle and bring in a fairly middle class income. Around $60,000 USD per year.
My wife is looking at going back to school to become a RN (Registered Nurse). She will be taking online courses and working full time for the first 2 years of her schooling which will consist solely of general courses and prerequisites.
The issue is after these first 2 years, she will go into the nursing program which will require her to basically quit her job for 2 years as its extremely intensive and full time (12 hour days/5 days a week).
This will cut our current income in half and as such, we will not be able to afford to live in our home anymore and would be forced to sell.
We have discussed moving in with my parents during this 2 year period since I will be the sole income earner for our family at that time.
I fully support my wife and want the best for her so that we can afford a better house and better life for ourselves down the road, but at the same time, I have this mental roadblock of "It's sad that at the age of 34, I will be living with my wife and 3 year old daughter at my parents house". I know it would only be temporary and in the long term, it would benefit our family tremendously however, my pride just seems to be getting in my way.
Am I wrong for thinking this way? Has anyone else been in a similar situation? Any advise?
Hey dude as someone who has lived through a similar situation let me offer my experience.
Background: I moved halfway across the country to be with my now wife and two stepkids back around 2008. She had just finished undergrad and was waiting for the next available slot in a master's program she was applying to. When I moved the economy tanked and we struggled trying to manage our student loan debt and raising our kids. Initially I couldn't get any work and my wife was working a pretty low income job and this basically required that we move in with her folks in their middle-class but modest sized home. What was meant to be a short term arrangement ended up extending out a couple years especially once my wife was accepted into her program (I was able to secure work in the meantime). Space was tight but liveable and we managed. I'm not going to lie: it was tense at times with my in-laws mostly because they'd get snippy with each other, my in-laws not always appreciating that we had our own methodolgy in terms of how we wanted to raise our kids, too cramped of a kitchen situation, etc.. With that said there was a lot of love and today my wife and I are both master's level educated professionals, our oldest is off to college, and we own our own home (after renting another home for a couple years).
First off, this is perfectly fine and you shouldn't feel bad BUT you're probably going to feel bad anyways at times because it sucks knowing you can't handle it all on your own and have to abide someone else's home rules. Main thing is to use your time effectively and stay busy. For us having a rough timeline of things helped put provide some perspective on events when stuff got uncomfortable ("this won't last forever so let's just deal with it for now"). Since we had kids we really made them our focus as much as we could. Getting outdoors with them helped with both having a healthy family situation along with providing some relief from the camped quarters.
I'll leave it that for now because I have to get back to work but if you want to chat more I'm game. Either reply here or send me a PM if you prefer.
You can make it work.
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