What, late? Naw, man, I just had to wait for the heat do die down. You're not a cop, are you??

As we check for wires, let us scroll southward and observe the Rite of Listing:

—

♫ Starting off, I’d like to highlight some of the tunes of ‘23:

• OTXO by Lateralis - I only played the demo, but I think this might be a Cursed to Golf-situation where the soundtrack is the best part of the game. I mean just listen to this sick filth: The Cycle Repeats

•Alan Wake II by Various: (Best Boy) Ahti - Yöton Yö

SLUDGE LIFE 2 by Doseone:

These thick, sludgy beats really suit the fabulously viscous vibes of the game: GIT DUM

Shoulders of Giants by Floex:

Tomáš Dvořák always delivers the atmosphere: Miyazaki Forest

•Cult of the Lamb: Relics of the Old Faith by River Boy: Darkwood Purged

•Risk of Rain Returns by Chris Christodoulou: Double Fucking Rainbow Returns

•AMID EVIL: The Black Labyrinth by Andrew Hulshult: Splitting Time

(For someone with actual taste I recommend the list by @majormitch!)

—

Alright, onward, to Games!

MOST EXUBERANT PLATFORMER SINCE RAYMAN LEGENDS

♦Super Mario Bros. Wonder!

Trying to avoid “verily ‘tis aptly named lol” but screw it: I’m obviously that much of a hack. Relentlessly inventive and charming throughout in ways big and small, even if it does not revolutionize the genre. A veritable sunbeam of a game. Constantly smiling whilst playing. :D

—

BEST SURPRISE SURPRISE

♦El Paso, Elsewhere (Steam, itch, GOG)

No, I'm not having a stroke, what I mean is that I was expecting to enjoy what seemed like decidedly my jam, but I was still surprised at just how (sticky the marmalade) much it resonated with me. The writing/acting/direction of cutscenes and pitch-perfect mood elevates what is (to me) some dope - if repetitive - Max Payning of ze children of ze night.

I have some complaints about the level design: it overall feels too flat and sees you run through a fair deal of narrow, winding corridors - wish there was more verticality and space to flank and play around, (like in the best parts of Max Payne 2) but you do at least get to shootdodge/dive through some windows which is never not cool.

—

BEST NES GAME

♦Jackal

(Tied with Kickle Cubicle)

This is where I would be cute and give the award to a ElecHead or Shovel Knight, but I did play and enjoy some classic NES games - even if I am not engaged in any scientific pursuits. That being said, I think most people checking it out now would find Jackal to just be mostly fine, which is a fair assessment. You might have better luck with Kickle Cubicle, a really quite neat, charming puzzle ‘em up. (To clarify: these are not my all time faves on the NES, just the ones I played last year)

Runner-up: Solomon's Key - One of the classics that feels cool to play for the first time in The Future - a unique jump n’ puzz that unfortunately gets a bit too rough and reaction-focused, imo.

—

BEST N64 GAME

♦Pseudoregalia (Steam, Itch)

See this is what I was talking about.

Runner-up: Corn Kidz 64 (Steam)

We’re just absolutely drowning in dreamlike, N64-inspired, satisfying schmoovement games starring anthropomorphic goats, huh? Though this one is a collectathon platformer with weightier movement. Charmingly off-kilter, and does feel like a memory of a forgotten N64 platformer - though I’d wager it actually plays much better than most of those did.

Best Dreamcast Game: VIVIDLOPE (Steam)

Notable Qualifying Games I Did Not Play:

DC: Bomb Rush Cyberfunk • N64: Cavern of Dreams

—

BEST MISSION PACK

♦Call of the Machine for QUAKE II

MachineGames delivers again - though I don't think it kicks quite as much ass as Dimension, it is still a tubular display of mastery over level design for a (semi-)classic manshoot.

—

NEAT GAME EVERYBODY ACTUALLY FORGOT?

♦Wild Hearts (Steam, Epic, EA)

I mean, right? Or uh perhaps no one cared. It was by all reports busted at launch, which I suppose tainted it. I did at least enjoy what I played of it. (through EA Play via Game Pass - “Good GP Game,” as they say)

Dunno if we’ll see a sequel, so it’s probably time to say Sayonara Wild Hearts

~

INTERMISSION - SWERVING INTO LITERARY CORNER BOOK NOOK

FAV BOOKS I READ:

♦Alfred Bester - The Stars My Destination (1956)

Absolutely rip-roarin’, rocket-propelled revenge romp that casually dips into Count of Monte Cristo, a hint of dystopian cyberpunk, and some PKD-ish psychic psychedelia - among other things. Fully caught off guard by this one.

♦Cormac McCarthy - Blood Meridian (1985)

Yeah sorry gonna base my whole personality on having read this now

~

—

YO DID YOU KNOW SPIDERMAN IS GOOD?

♦Marvel's Spider-Man: Miles Morales (Steam, Epic)

Y’all hear ‘bout this Arachnid Lad?? Hadn’t played a Insomniac game since Sunset Overdrive— boy, do they know how to do kinetic, satisfying superhero shenanigans! And I’d rather hang out with Miles’ charming crew than the Overdriven Chucklefucks. While I prefer open worlds that are actual sandboxes with interacting systems, if you’re going to do a Big Map that is essentially a container for bespoke missions and activities, this is the way to do it: I never thought about fast travel because I was always in a flow with the wonderful movement. (and yes yes slowpoke.jpg I know this is what people have been saying for years at this point) Probably among the best of this type of open superhero experience (there’s a fair amount at this point - where my Prototype heads at?)

—

HOTBOY SUMMER

♦The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom

Qualifying Games I Did Not Play: Mediterranea Inferno (Steam)

Seriously, though: much digital ink has been spilled about the game, but if you want some Actual Thoughts I highly recommend @mooseymcman's wonderful longform series!

—

BEST MASH-UP

♦Mobile Suit Baba (Itch)

Into the Baba!

Runner-up: Snakebird Complete (Epic) (Switch)

Snake and Bird, together at last!

—

💛ALPHABETICAL LIST OF GAMES I LOVED:

🟡Alan Wake II

🟡COCOON

🟡El Paso, Elsewhere

✨Hi-Fi RUSH

🟡HITMAN: World of Assassination

🟡Jusant

🟡Miles Morales

🟡Resident Evil 4 Remake

🟡SLUDGE LIFE 2

✨Super Mario Bros. Wonder!

🟡Tchia

✨Tears of the Kingdom

🟡Trine 5: A Clockwork Conspiracy

—

BUT NOW, THE ACTUAL, TRUE GOTY:

YOU, dear reader!! ♥

[Mobile Users]