Boy, 2021 sure was, wasn't it? Whatever, I can't even bothered to to do this properly. I'm gonna try and keep this short this year, as I just don't feel the sauce flowing through my bones (where sauce naturally flows).

DNF

31. The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword HD

Jesus Christ.

30. God of War: Ascension

Truly a pointless game. Feels like they really tried to smooth off the rough edges of the franchise's UI.

29. Jak II

Time has not been kind to this game.

28. Watch Dogs: Legion

Gets boring quick.

27. Jak and Daxter: The Precursor Legacy

Time has been slightly kinder to this game.

26. The Gunk

Ok. Writing is a bit too cute.

25. The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles

It feels weird that I walked away from this with a seething hatred for both Sherlock Holmes and classical Japanese author Soseki Natsume.

24. Ring of Pain

I admire what it's trying more than I enjoy it. I might come back to it, IDK.

DID FINISH

23. God of War (2018)

At the end of the day, I don't like trying to pull off melee combos on the shoulder/triggers. Also, when Kratos reveals that Freya originally named Atreus "Loki" and then looked directly into the camera I said "fuck you" out loud.

22. Paper Mario: The Origami King

Okay. I would've preferred a traditional turn-based game. I did like the Canned Food Party.

21. Super Mario 3D World +Bowser's Fury

Look, I just don't care that much about Mario.

20. Omno

It's fine, but feels like it's all been done before and done better.

19. God of War III

This is when the God of War games went more vert instead of street. I don't know what I mean by that.

18. God of War

Still okay, if somewhat oddly unforgiving.

17. Superliminal

It's pretty good, but I hate any game that delves into a bunch of self-help, self-actualization bullshit like this does at the end.

16. Blue Fire

Hey, it's like a 3D Hollow Knight (is that just Dark Souls?). Only attacking isn't nearly as precise and the nightmare platforming sections really kill some of the momentum.

15. Donut County

Cute.

14. Shovel Knight

Yeah, it's okay, I guess.

13. God of War II

By far the best of the main trilogy.

12. God of War: Chains of Olympus

The GOW games tend to be better when there are some personal stakes for Kratos, and that's true here.

11. God of War: Ghost of Sparta

It's crazy the things they can do on a PSP. Best of the series is a toss up between this and the other PSP game.

10. Spark The Electric Jester

A reasonably fun Sonic-megaman-kirby game.

9. Exo One

We love the orb, don't we folks?

8. AI: The Somnium Files

Doesn't reach nearly the craziest heights of the Zero Escape games, but it's a much more fun game to play, even if some of the characters are a little annoying.

7. Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney Trilogy

Oh yeah, give me that sweet stuff. Very fun, especially if you like the weird last days of localization teams trying to desperately trick Americans into thinking everything takes place in America.

6. Death's Door

Everyone loves crows!

5. Sable

This would've been game of the year if it weren't for all the technical and visual glitches. Still highly recommend you play it, especially if you have game pass.

4. Crush

Still one of the best PSP games. Enjoyable puzzle platforming with surprisingly deep and dark story.

3. Axiom Verge 2

Finally getting the "Vania" part of the "MetroidVania." Does it well!

2. Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne HD Remaster

100% the best of the entire series, spin-offs included (I'm looking at you, Persona).

1. Metroid Dread

Despite being weirdly-linear for a Metroid game, it's still the best there is.

So there you go. I'm done.