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64 in 64: Episode 15

No Caption Provided

Welcome to another episode of 64 in 64, which has been gradually moving away from its stated purpose of examining a group of Nintendo 64 games for the sake of determining their suitability for inclusion on the Nintendo Switch Online service's highest-paid tier, the Expansion Pak, and more towards an extended torture session spent with one of Nintendo's most divisive systems. Deep down, I always knew the random selection process would give me trouble, which is why I've always had it accompany a personal selection that - if not guaranteeing some level of enjoyment - at least should keep my soul alive. If you just wanted to scroll down to the half of this blog where I have a real bad time, though, I'm not going to blame you.

Not for the first time I've been considering what kind of ratio of classics, basically OK games, and absolute dreck the Nintendo 64 saw in its relatively short lifespan - a library of just under 400 games isn't as impressive as it sounds, especially since its predecessor had almost 2000 and its closest rival twice that number - and despite some poor fortune with these random picks I think the system on the whole is shaping up to have a better ratio than most. Consider the games filling up that list at the bottom: I spoke to a commenter about how many of them I'd still recommend to the players of today, and I'd cut it off around the mid-point probably where Shadowgate 64 is sitting. Add to that the many top-tier games I've excluded from this feature because they are already on the Switch Online service and you can't argue that the system didn't have its highlights. It's just... well, the way I've formatted this thing where both I and Nintendo are cherry-picking all the best games means I don't hold out a lot of hope the random picks will start improving any time soon. I'm still hoping it pulls out the occasional hidden gem all the same, though. Every platform has them, after all.

Talking of gems, these rules are pretty sweet. At least I think so. Here they are in full:

  • Each episode covers two games - one pre-selected by me, one selected by a random choosing widget - for exactly sixty-four minutes each, with four updates spaced sixteen minutes apart. The random pick pool includes everything that hasn't been covered yet, including all three N64 shogi games. I'll play inscrutable Japanese chess for this feature, don't test me.
  • Each entry is accompanied with an introduction, which are becoming unfeasibly long, as well as my thoughts on the game's worthiness for the Switch Online service and the likelihood of it making on there regardless of what I think. It's crazy, but I'm starting to think that Nintendo's not interested in my valuable opinions.
  • We don't include any games on here that have already joined the Nintendo Switch Online service unless I got to them before they were announced. In the last Direct, Nintendo laid out its plans for the next six months of N64 additions so I think I'm safe from any surprise announcements. That is how they get you, though.

Prior episode links can be found on the following table. If you want to see which specific games were covered when, feel free to peruse the Current Ranking list found at the bottom of this (and every) entry. (I've been contemplating cutting off the list at 40 or 50 and relegating everything after that to The Trash Zone, similar to what the crew did with the Tekken endings.)

Episode 1Episode 2Episode 3
Episode 4Episode 5Episode 6
Episode 7Episode 8Episode 9
Episode 10Episode 11Episode 12
Episode 13Episode 14Episode 15

Harvest Moon 64 (Pre-Selected)

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History: Another expediency pick. Since Nintendo's gone all-in on farming games as per the most recent Direct, seemed like the ideal time to go back to the salad days of the world's most famous bucolic simulation franchise and see what its first 3D incarnation was like. Harvest Moon 64 is actually the third game in the series, following the original SNES game and the GB sequel. Or, from another perspective, it's the second game in the series (the Japanese name for this game is Bokujou Monogatari 2) and the GB game was merely a port of the SNES one. However, since we're here to pick vegetables, not nits, either interpretation is fine. I should also probably mention somewhere that this franchise got rebranded as Story of Seasons, so calling it Story of Seasons 64 wouldn't be incorrect either. It's a series I've never really dedicated a whole lot of time towards, despite liking the format in general, and given we're only covering it for an hour today this playthrough will be no exception.

While Natsume's name is closely associated with the Harvest Moon franchise (or Story of Seasons, I guess) they've only ever been the publishers and usually only for North America and sometimes Europe. The developers and Japanese publishers, Victor Interactive, were formerly known as Pack-In-Video until they were bought by and became an internal division of Victor Entertainment, a large multimedia company that also publishes music and anime. Long since defunct, Pack-In-Video/Victor Interactive were a versatile bunch that had been developing games for ten years by the time of their 1996 purchase by Victor, and put out many of their own titles along with ports of western games on both consoles and home computers of the '80s and '90s. For instance, they're behind almost every Japanese incarnation of venerable first-person RPG franchise Dungeon Master, even creating two unique sequels in Theron's Quest (which honestly felt more like a ROM hack of the original) and the series' sole fully-3D entry Dungeon Master Nexus for Saturn. Victor Interactive also put out two games from their Legend of the River King (Nushi Tsuri) franchise on Nintendo 64, so we may well see a future 64 in 64 wherein I unsuccessfully try to decipher an all-Japanese fishing RPG for an hour. Fun.

If anything, Natsume's history is even more awkward to parse: the company began as a developer and publisher of games, such as Pocky & Rocky and Wild Guns for SNES, and formed an American subsidiary that brought those games and others to countries outside of Japan. That subsidiary eventually split itself off as an independent entity, called Natsume Inc., while the original Natsume became Natsume-Atari after a merger with a company called Atari that is maybe not the one people are familiar with. The former group are the ones with an iron grip on the Harvest Moon name to the extent that they created their own "we have Harvest Moon at home" franchise that kept the Harvest Moon branding, prompting the new Bokujou Monogatari license holders Marvelous to switch to the Story of Seasons name for international publication instead. It's a big mess, and all for the sake of a modest and peaceful game series about growing crops, herding cows, and falling in love. (Natsume Inc. also put out two other Nintendo 64 games: ski/snowboard sim Big Mountain 2000 - also my former wrestling alias - and chibi fighter Flying Dragon, from Culture Brain's long-running Hiryu no Ken series.)

16 Minutes In

I can hear the indignation in his voice. Look, plants take a while to grow, all right? Do I need to explain what farming is?
I can hear the indignation in his voice. Look, plants take a while to grow, all right? Do I need to explain what farming is?

I spent a little time perusing the tutorials - there weren't too many games in the '90s that had demonstration videos - before jumping into my new farm, Cool Ranch, with my dog Barkly (damn you six character limit). Turns out I got Kirby 64'd again: the game is strictly a 2D affair albeit with an isometric perspective that creates the vague illusion of 3D. The cycle's familiar: you use your farm tools to prepare the land for crops, and then plant seeds, grow them into veggies, and then sell those veggies for money. Consult this how-to guide for more details.

Unfortunately, as you see with this screenshot of the burly dude who pays me for all the crap I stick in the shipping box, I was unable to do any actual farming today as the sundries store was shut and I forgot that you buy seeds at the florist. I did, however, break some rocks apart and get a tour of the village and its commodities, so my first day was not a complete wash. In the next sixteen minutes I hope to actually do a farming, so please feel free to anticipate my report with bated breath.

32 Minutes In

I suspect this girl is one of the love interests. Maybe one of the harder ones to court if she's going to keep spouting ominous shit like this.
I suspect this girl is one of the love interests. Maybe one of the harder ones to court if she's going to keep spouting ominous shit like this.

I am now growing turnips. I kinda messed up with the seed throwing stage of the farming process: I made the assumption that you plant in the square directly in front of you, much like you do when tilling or cutting or watering or hammering, but instead the guy just stands there and tosses seeds around him like he's making it rain at the aviary. Since I only managed to hit two squares with this $200 sack of seeds, and don't have enough money left to buy more, I've had to seek out other income-raising methods. A trip up the local mountain pass put me in touch with a fisherman who gave me one of his rods, but despite giving it a few shots I've yet to catch anything: either the timing is super precise or I'm missing something, like maybe bait. I've also been picking up wild plants while I'm up there - I've deposited them in the shipping container but have yet to meet up with the seller again to see if they're worth squat.

It occurs to me only now that this game perhaps doesn't move fast enough to show a whole lot of progress from an hour's digging and planting. I have figured out a couple of things though: your tools level up on their own, but only after a significant amount of work, and the two face buttons are dedicated to tools and items respectively, the latter including anything you can pick up. To put a found item in your inventory, you actually have to pick it up manually and then go to the inventory screen to set it in an open spot; otherwise, you'll just toss it back down again (and in many cases, destroy whatever it was). I want to visit the sundry store at some point to see what other tools I can get and use to raise funds, though there's no real rush until I get some walkin' around money.

48 Minutes In

It took all night, but my little seeds are all planted and watered. Soon, my pretties. Soon the harvest will arrive.
It took all night, but my little seeds are all planted and watered. Soon, my pretties. Soon the harvest will arrive.

After finally catching a few fish and cashing in the whole two turnips I managed to grow, I picked up enough cash for two more seed bags: growing turnips and potatoes now. Since I'm ten days into spring already I should be good if I want to start growing cabbages, the most valuable but also longest of the crops to grow, but I have to be careful I don't let summer come around while they're still in the dirt because everything will immediately wilt and be useless. Man, I can relate. With eighteen lil' plant babies on the way the financial pressure's off a little, and now I can settle into this whole franchise's raison d'étre: finding a daily routine and never wavering, unless it's a festival day or I finally have enough cash for a new plaything. Speaking of which, I've still not been able to hit the sundries store: it's closed Saturdays, Sundays, and Wednesdays and open at odd times on the other days. Maybe it's for the best I'm not tempted to splurge on anything other than seeds right now.

For as rudimentary as this game's been so far compared to its modern peers, the loop is still compelling enough. With more ideas of what I want to work towards, beyond upgrading my gear and eventually acquiring some animals, the daily grind of planting, watering, and harvesting crops with a little fishing on the side when the day's chores are done has a certain low-key appeal. The game has its mysteries too: the tree at the corner of my farm had a treasure map inside it, but I'll be darned if I know how to read it or who to give it to.

64 Minutes In

One little bit of awkwardness is that you can't walk over spaces once the plants start sprouting. That means I can't reach that one in the middle to water it. Won't be an issue once the watering can's been upgraded though.
One little bit of awkwardness is that you can't walk over spaces once the plants start sprouting. That means I can't reach that one in the middle to water it. Won't be an issue once the watering can's been upgraded though.

Since all the fish are being uncooperative, I spent this last block exploring the perimeters of Flowerbud Village to see what else was here. What I found shocked and horrified me. Well, maybe not, but there was a tribe of Pig Latin-speaking Christmas Elves in the nearby caves and I've no idea what role they serve in the story, if any. After am-scraying from there before those things ate me, I poked around the usual haunts in a game like this: there's a library where you can't read anything; a village square which is only used for festival days; the rest of the mountain up until a broken bridge; a carpenter's hut where I am told I will be able to purchase "extensions" (presumably not hair) but not right now; a graveyard with weird onion-looking monuments; a bar that I never remember to check out when the sun goes down; and the local vendors of a bakery, the florist/seed place, a drug store, and the sundries shop. I finally managed to enter the last of those, but the only item they have for sale right now is a brush for horses and cows. Don't have either of those, nor the $600 they want for it. Again, a few mysteries here and there, but no time left to suss them out.

Feels like I left my protagonist in a decent spot, at least. I've plowed enough fields for about sixty crops should I ever have enough seeds to fill that space and I'm holding onto close to a grand in cash, giving me my choice of four new seed bags to sow. That cash came from the eight turnips I was able to reach - the potatoes that are taking a little longer to grow should net a lot more, as will the thirty-six hypothetical plants to follow. Besides that brush, though, I'm not sure what I'm saving up for as most of the other vendors don't have much to sell to me. It might be that the game has to enter summertime before new options open up, giving the player something of a gentle onboarding ramp if they're new to the franchise or the farm format (farmat?) in general. I will also say that Harvest Moon 64's days are aggressively short: once I was done watering the handful of crops I had, I barely spent any time fishing before it became dusk and then night. Since each season is a 31-day month in length, the turnaround is pretty quick: probably less than three hours before the colors start to change. Well, if I ever get a hankering to break ground on a new farm, I can always hit up Stardew Valley again. I'm sure there's been mods and free content updates out the wazoo since I last played it five years ago. Either that, or hold out for whatever crystal Final Fantasy nonsense can be found in Harvestella. Cactuses are the only thing I've ever been able to take care of, so maybe the same is true for Cactuars too?

How Well Has It Aged?: Fine. Graphically, the strange pre-rendered potato-people and the very basic textures don't look so hot, even compared to its more detailed SNES predecessor, but it still has that same compelling "one more day" gameplay loop and I found myself falling back into that chill daily groove pretty quick. A little more transparency early on with some concrete financial goals to chase, or even something like the community center collecting challenges in Stardew, would be a great carrot on the end of the proverbial stick. As it is, the only carrots you'll find here are the ones you grow yourself, and perhaps that freedom to pursue whatever goals you set yourself is reward enough. Either way, Harvest Moon has always had its distinctive little niche on any platform it's appeared on, and the Nintendo 64's no different. How many non-vehicle simulation games do you think that system even saw? (Speaking of, maybe I should do a genre breakdown for the N64 some day since I already bothered to make a master list of all its releases for this feature. If nothing else, it might confirm my suspicions that the library is almost entirely sports and racing games.)

Chance of Switch Online Inclusion: Moderate. On the one hand, this is an ongoing franchise with a lot of fans who would certainly be interested in trying out a much older, much more rudimentary version of these relaxing farming games, especially since that genre has exploded in popularity over the years with franchise spin-offs like Rune Factory, Indie homages like Stardew, adjacent social-sims like Animal Crossing, and some major upcoming headliners from the likes of Square Enix and Disney. Per contra, I imagine a lot of the old Harvest Moon games are caught up in some licensing legal spats between Marvelous and Natsume Inc., like the kid of a divorce around the holidays. If they can figure all that out by the time those farming games shown on the last Nintendo Direct are hitting the storefronts, it might make for a nice bit of synergy.

Mortal Kombat Mythologies: Sub-Zero (Random)

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History: Read any history book, or watch any episode of Behind the Music, and you know the biggest falls tend to arrive after the highest peaks. The hubris that comes from being on top is often an instigating factor in following your worst impulses and embarking on an ill-advised project that ends with your star crashing down to Earth harder than Chicxulub. So it was for the Mortal Kombat series (if temporarily) after the exceptionally well-received Ultimate Mortal Kombat 3, which redressed the inexplicable absence of Scorpion from Penultimate Mortal Kombat 3 and added far more content besides that fans couldn't help but lap up. Heading into 1997 and faced with how to top their last fighter, Midway put out two titles that would begin the franchise's decade-long decline before it bounced back in 2008 with the crossover Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe and more confidently with its 2011 successor Mortal Kombat (retroactively referred to by fans as Mortal Kombat 9). Those two games were Mortal Kombat 4, where the series lost some of its essence in its jump from digitized sprites to early polygons, and the genre-hopping spin-off Mortal Kombat Mythologies: Sub-Zero. Generally reviled, the Sub-Zero spotlight game tried to translate the movement and combat of Mortal Kombat into a side-scrolling action-adventure/brawler model and it didn't turn out so well.

We've met the combination of Avalanche and Midway once before in Episode 5's coverage of Rampage 2: Universal Tour, but as a quick recap: Avalanche was founded by former Sculptured Software developers and found themselves working on the 16-bit console ports of Ultimate Mortal Kombat 3 as their first assignment. That made them a natural choice for the N64 port of Mythologies, which was made in tandem with the PlayStation original developed internally by Midway. They've since been bought by Disney for their "toys to life" division, shut down when that enterprise didn't pan out, and then resurrected by their new owners Warner Bros. Interactive to work on that upcoming Harry Potter game no-one seems too psyched about. They have two other N64 games on the list that we may yet encounter: Off Road Challenge and Rugrats in Paris: The Movie. (No thanks.)

Midway Games were major players in the American arcade scene long before the sudden meteoric rise of Mortal Kombat. Breaking into that market like no other western-made fighter series had done before, it became a pillar of the company's irreverent, teen-friendly direction in the 1990s along with the hyperactive NBA Jam, the laid-back Cruis'n USA, or the action movie-spoofing Total Carnage. Midway eventually became too big to handle and filed for bankruptcy in 2009, with most of its properties purchased by Warner Bros. Interactive. Midway's former President and CEO, Matt Booty, has since gone on to become head of Xbox Game Studios and now overlooks most of the first-party development for that system. There are thirty-nine Midway games on the Nintendo 64, and this would be the third we've seen after Rampage 2: Universal Tour and San Francisco Rush 2049; given one in every ten N64 games came from Midway, we're more than likely to encounter them again.

I'll admit, when I saw this get spat out of the randomizer my face was temporarily drained of color. To say a chill ran up my spine might be a little too on the nose given the protagonist, but it's not far from the truth either. However, I've never actually taken the time to see how much of a frostbitten trainwreck this game truly is, so I'm going to take the following hour as an opportunity for a long-overdue learning exercise. Maybe in this modern era, where so many 2D platformers are insidiously difficult as a stylistic choice, it'll fare better? That's a thing with notoriously poor games that they only get better with age, right? Guess we're about to find out the freezing point of copium.

16 Minutes In

I don't play a lot of Mortal Kombat games, but I've always admired the variety in their character design.
I don't play a lot of Mortal Kombat games, but I've always admired the variety in their character design.

Oh dear Raiden, it's worse than I could've possibly imagined. I'm not sure where to even begin. Let's go with the unfortunate but understandable decision to map all the punches and kicks to the C-buttons so that the primary face buttons are left for the incredibly important roles of "pick up item" (as opposed to, let's say, having Sub-Zero automatically pick up items) and "turn around". Turning around is vital as you'll have enemies flanking you when you least expect it, or at least I think that was the original intent behind the implementation of this mechanic because most of the time when I'm turning around it's because a flying kick went over the enemy's head and I'm stuck facing away from him like an idiot. What's worse is that Sub-Zero will sometimes (but not always) turn around to face an opponent on his own, so my pressing the turn around button pre-emptively just reorients Sub-Zero to leave his ass exposed. I see more turn arounds in an average encounter than in three whole renditions of Bonnie Tyler's Total Eclipse of the Heart. Describing the rest of the game's garbage will have to wait until the next update; I'll need to pace myself with this shit as I don't think I'll have a lot of actual forward progress to report on.

As far as said progress is going, Sub-Zero starts in a monastery attempting to outpace his rival Scorpion to some mystic scroll or other. In his way are a bunch of generic bald monks that melt into goo after dying (they're more acidic than ascetic) and many crusher traps that can potentially smush you dead from full health, but only if you're so far underneath; otherwise you'll get knocked back with a small amount of damage. The proximity trigger for these cylindrical Thwomp wannabes is extremely tight and kinda capricious on top of that, so I usually get caught by them. After dying, a lot, I've found the best course so far is to run past all the monks and take my time with the stompers in order to preserve what little health I have. Issue with this approach is that I think I only gain my abilities - Sub-Zero starts with none of his specials, because that's fun - by defeating enemies and building up an invisible XP bar. I've reached Scorpion at the base of the temple now, but I might burn a whole bunch of lives trying to defeat him: for one, I'm fairly certain my normal attacks do less to him than his normals do to me, which feels like breaking some cardinal fighter game rule regarding parity.

32 Minutes In

This font choice emphasizes the Ks in words, which I totally get is MK's thing, but it makes me wonder if they do the same thing while talking. Pes-KEE, mon-KUS.
This font choice emphasizes the Ks in words, which I totally get is MK's thing, but it makes me wonder if they do the same thing while talking. Pes-KEE, mon-KUS.

Progress report: I spent almost this entire sixteen minutes trying to beat Scorpion. So let's tally up the factors working against me here: First, and perhaps most pertinent, is that I suck at Mortal Kombat. And that's with a decent controller and the wind at my back. Second, Scorpion's health bar was easily twice my own, despite this encounter being otherwise presented as a fair one-on-one fight typical of the series. Granted, this Scorpion isn't dead yet so he never uses his specials - no teleporting punches or chain hooks to worry about - but his AI's quite strong for this early stage of the game. One example of this in motion is that all the AI I fought have this anti-air where they leap directly up and knock me out of my jump, since apparently the straight up jump + attack is faster than the horizontal one so they don't even need to anticipate me too much. If I were to name the martial arts style that eventually won the fight, I would call it Crouching Coward, Hidden Patience Limit: by waiting for Scorpion to walk over and attack, I could quickly toss in some low punches and kicks before he'd closed the distance enough to hit me with something stronger like an uppercut or throw. After five minutes of chipping away at his health like I was carving an ice sculpture I could finally move on and... meet Quan Chi. Wow. What a reward.

I'm acclimating to the game, albeit very gradually. I think the XP thing probably factors into more than just unlocking new specials: it might also add to stats like total health and damage, which would explain why I was so underlevelled for Scorpion. I also found the menu screen, which tells you how much XP you need to reach the next level and the items you've found, but no rundown of your stats or anything useful like that. It's like the game begrudgingly added a level-up system because of the new format but does all it can to refuse to acknowledge it exists. All that nerd shit happening in the background? You don't need to dig deeper into any of that, just keep smacking these bald dudes on their heads.

48 Minutes In

You can't make that gap. You have to wait for a gust of wind to pick you up and carry you over. Super intuitive.
You can't make that gap. You have to wait for a gust of wind to pick you up and carry you over. Super intuitive.

My situation has not improved. After a non-animated ten-minute cutscene where Quan Chi explained the plot to Sub-Zero like he was a child, we're sent to the destination written on that map scroll we found: a temple in the Himalayas that predates human civilization, dedicated to the four classic elements. Since Sub-Zero is already an expert at the element of cold (not one of the four, by the by, but I guess adjacent) he's deemed the ideal choice for this assignment. Assuming that the quadrant of the temple that focuses on wind would also be the hardest given the amount of open-air platforming involved, that's naturally the one we're sent to first. I've spent the remainder of this block falling to my death trying to leap between precarious platforms with Mortal Kombat controls. There's more of those bald monks here too, only now someone gave them all kali sticks. When do I get a weapon?

Since the Wind Temple has a lot of clouds in its background I've been trying my darnedest to look for a silver lining here. That's because I don't want the game's reputation to overwrite my subjective experience, but also because I've still got another sixteen minutes with it and I'd prefer to keep my sanity intact. The awkwardness inherent to this jerry-rigged format is making it an ordeal, but I've this weird soft spot for fighters that try to break out of their comfort zone a little. The run-based dungeons in the Tobal games, for instance. It's more that the execution is lacking in this game rather than the ideas, an overabundance of instant-death traps notwithstanding, so maybe if I press on there'll be more of its wild ambition on display even if I can't be optimistic that it'll improve.

64 Minutes In

A locked door is my only reward for traversing these awkward swinging platforms. Time to head back. Or head down, since that would be faster.
A locked door is my only reward for traversing these awkward swinging platforms. Time to head back. Or head down, since that would be faster.

The Wind Temple opened up a little more in a way I wasn't expecting. It was still a mostly linear exercise in cask-strength anxiety platforming between platforms that, due to the Klonoa-esque 2.5D employed, are moving into the background and foreground where they temporarily become inaccessible: figuring out the timing to leap in the interval where they're "active" is a large part of this level, and why you might spend a significant amount of time enjoying gravity's gentle caress. The open part involves collecting the three symbols, each of which opens a barrier that blocks the rest of the level. At one point I hit a door with a symbol and not did understand how to proceed, until I walked back and fell into a pit that once had a rickety bridge over it that fell apart; the pit actually had solid ground beneath it, and next to that was a symbol I saw earlier when riding up an enormous tornado. Let me explain how that tornado works, by the way: you jump into it to ride it up, though if you slip out of it at any point you die, whether there's ground beneath you or not (the game has falling damage). It also doesn't load in until a few seconds after the game has, so if you leap right into it after respawning you'll just fall right through into the abyss below. Little touches like this are what endeared the game to its many zeroes of fans.

I'm not sad my time with the game is over. Let's make that clear. For as often as I hit a literal turning around button, I don't want to give the wrong impression that my opinion was shifting on the game as I got further into it, became more used to the controls, and started seeing more of its imagination at work. Even after adding air control and a mantling feature the jumping only ever felt adequate enough to leap over an opponent to punch him in the back and rarely up to the task of leaping across platforms or anything in the vein of the Prince of Persia experience it felt like it was aiming for. I'd speak more on the fighting but except for the part where it doles out the specials incrementally - and I'm fairly sure the monks don't give any XP if you dispatch them in more expedient ways, like knocking them into the abyss - it struck me as identical to standard Mortal Kombat; a fighting game buff might be able to speak more on its differences, if any. I know I could've filled this whole thing with jokes about wanting to perform a fatality on myself rather than keep playing, but with a failure this high-profile my designer instincts kicked in and I felt the need to narrow down the exact causes why it felt as bad to play as it did.

How Well Has It Aged?: Like a snowball in a microwave. However, most of its problems today were problems at the time also, including a disappointing amount of Quan Chi. Everything about it feels suboptimal, like one of those Chinese bootleg NES carts that puts Mario and Luigi into Street Fighter. Only, you know, the reverse of that. Best I can say is that the aesthetic was occasionally striking, in that way that Mortal Kombat can really make its levels feel like they're in another world. The entrance to the Wind Temple, for instance, has Sub-Zero standing next to a gate inside a cliff face where it's zoomed out to show how far up he's climbed: it's a neat visual that looks impressive and gives you a sense of the scale of this place and its remote setting. Did I mention that this game only has one bad guy sprite in it? Besides Scorpion? They couldn't even paint his outfit green to make it clear he was a wind monk.

Chance of Switch Online Inclusion: Minimal. Getting license-holders Warner Bros. Interactive to do anything is like pulling teeth with how indifferent they've been to gaming in the past few years, and that's only going to become worse in the midst of this Zaslavpocalypse happening to all their digital media subsidiaries. Even if you were to get past all that, though, how would you go about convincing them to revive a game that has been an enduring embarrassment to the Mortal Kombat brand for years? Over any of its core entries? The only way Mythologies gets on there would be the result of a drunken Christmas party mishap at the main office, or maybe a Trojan horse meant to sabotage the Switch Online service from within once they're done sinking HBO Max. If Zaslav still needs to fill the world with despair before he can transubstantiate as Valsaz, the Demon Lord of Spiteful Cancellations, then maybe we can expect to see it on there soon.

Current Ranking

  1. Super Mario 64 (Ep. 1)
  2. Diddy Kong Racing (Ep. 6)
  3. Mystical Ninja Starring Goemon (Ep. 3)
  4. Donkey Kong 64 (Ep. 13)
  5. Goemon's Great Adventure (Ep. 9)
  6. Pokémon Snap (Ep. 11)
  7. Banjo-Tooie (Ep. 10)
  8. Mischief Makers (Ep. 5)
  9. Harvest Moon 64 (Ep. 15)
  10. Hybrid Heaven (Ep. 12)
  11. Blast Corps (Ep. 4)
  12. Kirby 64: The Crystal Shards (Ep. 2)
  13. Ogre Battle 64: Person of Lordly Caliber (Ep. 4)
  14. Spider-Man (Ep. 8)
  15. Bomberman 64 (Ep. 8)
  16. Shadowgate 64: Trials of the Four Towers (Ep. 7)
  17. BattleTanx: Global Assault (Ep. 13)
  18. Hot Wheels Turbo Racing (Ep. 9)
  19. San Francisco Rush 2049 (Ep. 4)
  20. Fighter Destiny 2 (Ep. 6)
  21. Castlevania: Legacy of Darkness (Ep. 14)
  22. Tetris 64 (Ep. 1)
  23. NBA Live '99 (Ep. 3)
  24. Rampage 2: Universal Tour (Ep. 5)
  25. South Park Rally (Ep. 2)
  26. Armorines: Project S.W.A.R.M. (Ep. 7)
  27. Eikou no St. Andrews (Ep. 1)
  28. Rally Challenge 2000 (Ep. 10)
  29. Monster Truck Madness 64 (Ep. 11)
  30. F-1 World Grand Prix II (Ep. 3)
  31. F1 Racing Championship (Ep. 2)
  32. Sesame Street: Elmo's Number Journey (Ep. 14)
  33. Mortal Kombat Mythologies: Sub-Zero (Ep. 15)
  34. Blues Brothers 2000 (Ep. 12)

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