Welcome once again to this NEC of the woods as I play another TurboGrafx-16 game to completion in front of your very eyes. This month's game is Neutopia: An action-adventure game from Hudson - the guys behind Bomberman and Adventure Island and almost every TG16 game of note. It's also an unrepentant Zelda clone, but I'll have plenty to say about that in the screenshot captions themselves. It is not, as I initially suspected, a Bob Barker-endorsed veterinarian simulator.
Neutopia was suggested by @video_game_king, he of nobility from the Sea of Tranquility. As thanks, I've decided to steal his long-form LP thread structure currently being utilized by his Persona 3 screenshot blog. Imitation is the sincerest form of gratitude, or something. Expect this TM-12 to be way longer than usual.
I Wanted to See Your Neutopia, But Now I See It's More of a Fruitopia
Next time, in the comments: More NPCs. Also, I guess I probably stumble across the first dungeon.
I think Dragon Quest also does that, although I'm not entirely sure. Also, old school Fire Emblem.
Either you're confusing Sleeping Beauty and Snow White, or the game is. It's hard to tell. Either way, I'm pretty sure you stab animals instead of listen to them sing along.
What intrigues me more is the use of "our's". This guy's potent enough to have kids about 50 years apart? Damn.
What's this old man doing with the Necronomicon? You better stab him, just in case you met Dirth within the first ten minutes of the game.
@video_game_king: Aurora's definitely Sleeping Beauty. If it was Snow White there'd only be seven medallions.
Also you could interpret it as the one lady having multiple fathers. Maybe Dirth is anti-gay marriage. He does sound pretty Republican from what I've read so far.
I don't know if the new site lets you double-post, so this might get interesting. Anyway I'll stick part 3 in here:
If it was Snow White there'd only be seven medallions.
What about Corpsey? Everybody always forgets about Corpsey. (And does this mean that the second half of Ocarina of Time is Snow White? That has to change everything.)
Holy shit, another update!? This is Renegade Photo on fast forward, isn't it? Now I have to respond to all the other screenshots, too.
Why Doesn't Anyone Live In a House?
Flintstones! Meet th-
Well, that was fast. How much longer until he's swinging flaming logs?
They bam?
To be fair, the medals were providing wealth, so without them, they're probably living in a recession. That's probably why he can only afford two flowers and a fireplace (but no fire).
I figured with this long-form I could just spam screenshots everywhere. There's something to be said about being a little more judicious, though. Anyway, here's more nonsense:
Jazeta Regrets Wishing His Baby Brother Away
Is it just me or can you post way more than 20 images these days?
I figured with this long-form I could just spam screenshots everywhere. There's something to be said about being a little more judicious, though. Anyway, here's more nonsense:
Jazeta Regrets Wishing His Baby Brother Away
Probably for the same reason that you jumped to a Futurama reference here. At least you're justified, since there's a Futurama episode called Neutopia.
Also, what happened to everybody's eyes? Did Dirth go around the land of Neutopia poking people's eyes out, or is this just the part of Les Enfants Terribles that nobody cares to mention?
Last one for today. Which means this part will need a suitably epic subtitle.
Last One For Today
Join us next time for more meandering around, talking to useless NPCs and fighting monsters which don't seem to know or care that you're stabbing them. Games from the 1980s, everyone!
@video_game_king: I honestly completely forgot about the clocks in Legend of Zelda. It's been so long since I played it and I so rarely saw them. So... yeah, another complete theft there. I thought the Moblins were really taking the mickey, especially.
I'll save it for the appraisal at the end but this game really feels like the missing link between LoZ and LTTP. It also feels like this highly competent version of Zelda that has absolutely no personality with which to differentiate itself. Really quite eerie.
@ajamafalous: @bisonhero: You fellows aren't wrong. Since this thread will just keep getting longer, I've done the *spoiler tag* thing to keep things reasonable. Well, superficially reasonable at least. A facade of rationality. It's the best we can hope for at this juncture.
But yeah, this is just too much fun. The hundreds of screenshots LP, I mean, not the game itself so much. Were I a little more discerning I could probably get it down to four or five entries, but I just can't get enough NPCs explaining how basic concepts work past the halfway point of the game. The first Zelda was a little too inscrutable for its own good at times, but this goes way too far in the opposite direction.
Instead of quoting the actual pictures (because for multiple pictures, that's absolute hell), I'll just number the ones I actually want to comment on. Just as much a pain for me as it is for you.
2. I would have put "But order in the next 30 minutes, and I'll throw in this shield and buckler for absolutely nothing!" For some reason, we're both reading that in Billy Mays' voice.
4. Still better than the Ronald McDonald armor in the sequel. That's about the only thing I remember about it outside "more Neutopia" and "cool dungeon tower thing".
5. The way you phrase it, it sounds like one of those spiky squares that just rush out at you in LTTP. You know, the ones that you could block with a block.
8. I'm surprised you didn't make a Little Mermaid reference...yet.
16. Maybe some freaky stuff is going on between him and the old lady. You don't know. He didn't give you the password.
19. To be fair, in one of those Sherlock Holmes stories I reviewed a while back, Holmes starts a fake fire by launching explosives into a woman's house. You don't fuck with Sherlock Holmes.
All right, I've beaten the game, so now we're into the home stretch. Beating the game is perhaps something competent LPers do before starting enormous screenshot threads with minimal curation. I wouldn't know.
I May Have Sea Sphere Madness, But That's No Excuse for Sea Sphere Rudeness
Phew, thanks @sparky_buzzsaw (and @video_game_king too, who presumably knew about this issue from the offset) for letting me continue with this thread. Turns out the site's anti-spamming measures won't let me post more than twice simultaneously. Anyway! We got more sky monsters to chop to pieces.
Things Get Airy, Aries and Hairy. In That Order.
What is that something? What indeed? Does anyone still care? Why did I think taking 300 of these images was a good idea? All questions will be answered (except the last) in the upcoming conclusion.
Phew, thanks @sparky_buzzsaw (and @video_game_king too, who presumably knew about this issue from the offset) for letting me continue with this thread.
I know from experience. The way things are going, I won't be able to post tomorrow's update....hint hint.
Considering how long this got, I should've just named this thread "Never Bet Against Me Being Stupid!" It's applicable and it also happens to be a quote from the Neutopia episode of Futurama. Truly, I am but a dilettante enjoying my salad days in the art of apt TV show references.
Talking of brave neu topias, it's time to conclude Legend of Aurora: A Jazeta to the Past.
Honestly, as critical as I was about Neutopia, it's not a bad Zelda clone as Zelda clones go. There have been plenty of equally overt examples on the NES itself, of varying quality, and Neutopia is among the better examples of a sub-genre with absolutely no spark of originality. If you're one of those crazy types who has played every Zelda ever made and are in that horrible, unenviable position where you're strongly considering buying an overpriced CD-i off eBay to play they that shall not be named, Neutopia would be a far better alternative. It's on the Wii Virtual Console I believe, as is its sequel.
It doesn't come across with screenshots (yet!) but the game has some pretty good music for the era too. Nothing exciting, but well-made. Here's a 10-minute medley of the game's music.
Thanks to all who read this entire thing. I'll be back with more nonsense in the coming month. May Madness, my droogs!
@video_game_king: I'm not quite sure that's true, but then I'm not entirely sure that it isn't either. The blog total was a little higher than it ought to be because of that time the site inadvertently generated a dozen copies of the same blog, but that issue seems to have fixed itself recently by removing all the duplicates. At this point, I'm not eve-
You know what? This is the 200th blog. Thanks for reading everyone.
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