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If I were in the cyberpunk universe of Deus Ex and had the yen/dollar/credits, these are the augments I'd get. Screw those Purity First dudes, I want to be bionic.

List items

  • Easy one to start us off: Bionic arms would win me so many arm wrestling contests. I could use that hustling money for a second bionic arm. And then go save Sonya Blade.

  • So many ways to view the world with bionic eyes: zoom in, x-ray, infra-red and something like that iPhone app that tells you what restaurant or store you're at, because signs are hard. Maybe get one that shoots laser beams too, I haven't decided if that's really a smart idea (but it totally is.)

  • Bionic legs, perhaps? Save me a job walking around. Though I might just go for wheels. I figure we'd still have all these useless wheelchair ramps after we'd given disabled people new bionic legs, so someone would need to use them.

  • Absolutely. Since mine is about to explode from my lousy diet, I'm legitimately really kind of hoping we have these by 2027.

  • Big ol' Babelfish in my ear. Not the Star Trek brain worm, but rather the friendlier sci-fi ear accessory that helps translate any language into English - or Earth Common as I guess it would be called by then. Obviously I'd want more than six languages too. Maybe nine? Maybe I'll just build a protocol droid instead - I mean, Darth Vader managed it and I could probably take him in a fight. Probably.

  • I haven't figured out how to augment one's body for flight, besides giant metal wings that rip out of your back which I'm not too keen about. Maybe in this case I'll just go with rocket boots or a hoverboard. Augmentations are limited, after all.

  • So this augment is for the tongue and makes every food taste like pancakes. I can switch between cookies, steak and pizza too. Then I can just eat nothing but cardboard and salad (both equally palatable, normally) and be all set. It'll be like a 24/7 IHOP in my mouth.

  • If I'm going to be eating a lot of cardboard, apparently, I'll probably need a bionic stomach to digest it all. I'd also want it to play the Mario Paint waiting music while it works through it.<br>

    This one: Jazzy.

  • Some bionic teeth wouldn't go awry, but it might be more cost-effective to just have diamond teeth instead. We don't know how expensive this shit is going to be. I just want to bite my way through a collapsed building, should I be caught in an earthquake or some such event. At least the rubble will taste like pancakes.

  • I'd have bionic skin that projected clothes over me, which I'd configure with my hologram computer box before leaving the house. But then they might suddenly go offline, leaving me naked during an important exam at school and ohhhhhhhhh nooooooooooooo!

  • Jensen has a whole suite of hacking augments, but none that would make him better at video games (largely because it would be completely pointless for his line of work.) But I could certainly see myself wasting money on that as I get older and less dextrous. You know there's going to be like a dozen to help old rich people be better at golf.

  • Part of the bionic eye package. Lets me know how my health points are doing, should I ever figure out exactly how many health points I have. If it could make little Pacman pellet trails that tell me where to go to find places, that would also be sweet. Wakka wakka my way to the nearest Starbucks for some pancake coffee.

  • Oh my, how did this get in here...?

  • Bionic livers, man. If the bio-electricity used to run it was alcohol-powered, the irony would be delicious. As would all the spirits I'd be imbibing.

  • Money whenever you wanted! Except.. where would the debit card go...<br>

    ...Oh man.

  • I don't have a problem with premature balding or anything, but I'd probably still replace my hair with bionic hair that could whip around and attack people. It's clearly what Willow Smith is saving up her music royalties for.

  • I would totally get an augment that allows me to use spells. Then I could troll fanboys with my crazy genre-mixing.<br>

    Oh wait, they totally mix them in Shadowrun. Way to spoil my fun, Shadowrun.

  • You know, I could probably find a use for an augmentation that does this too.

  • I'd turn mine green. Just to freak people out. I figure they can turn ketchup green, so why not blood?

  • You know the drill here. Jensen has a pair of these built into his face for whatever reason, but has never used them to make a CSI: Miami or "Deal With It" joke. He's kind of a humorless grump. Or maybe those memes are even more played out in the near future than they are now.