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N64 Games That Should Get The 3DS Treatment

I'm tempted just to add every N64 game I like here (and there's a few), or fill this with joke entries like my other (recently downvoted!) 3DS list, but instead I'll focus on those that were a little too graphically ambitious for a system noted for its blurry haziness (like the moors of Scotland) as well as those games that were perhaps a little before their time and could prosper in today's video game climate. God dammit, why did I have to use "video game climate" in a sentence. I do it to myself, I do.

List items

  • Body Harvest is an open-world TPS about bugs falling from space and a dude in power armor flitting through time to fight them off. Its development has a really bizarre history, a joint effort between the dudes who would later become Rockstar North and Nintendo. If those older and wiser Rockstar people were to make a remake (or a reboot) of this, with a little less interference from Nintendo, it could reach its full potential. Or it could just be an Earth Defense Force knock-off. Who can say? A wizard, maybe?

  • I don't have any grand reasoning for this, just that I want to add my voice to the many crying out for Ocarina of Time's weird emo little brother to join its elder with a lavish update. Specifically, I'd like some creative types to completely replace the art style (which was a little derivative of Ocarina, to say the least) with something a little more bizarre and apropos to the game's darker personality.

  • I feel like this one is so obvious after considering how they must want more games that use the AR feature that it's either happening by now or it isn't. Clearly they'll want to ruin it by filling it with these new generation Pokémon that no-one could care less about, but hey. Pokémon isn't for dudes nearing their 30s.

  • I specifically said "no joke entries."

  • Honestly? There's nothing really like it. You have an open stage, a bunch of robotic animals with different abilities and are given a goal to complete. It's a weird little puzzle platformer that is begging for a rehaul, if only to iron out the bugs. And hey, it's another Rockstar-North-before-they-were-Rockstar-North IP. They should make a new one of these instead of giving their time and money to slave labour camps disguised as Australian development studios.

  • Man, a graphically sharp Wetrix with better water physics could really hit the spot. Plus it's the sort of quirky puzzle game you see all the time on Steam these days. Maybe it'd work best as an eShop thing.

  • This is probably more a game of its time, when fighting hideous mutants with turn-based wrestling combat in a Resident Evil style plot about a shape-shifting secret agent stopping a global conspiracy involving cloned world leaders was more the norm - a Dreamcast owner wouldn't bat an eye at a premise like that. It should probably be consigned to "I can't believe they made something this awesome" history alongside God Hand. But still, I could see a remake taking this formula and vastly improving on it. I wanna chokehold some tentacled monstrosities again.

  • Either a remake of the N64 classic (or the other N64 Goemon, which I have to admit I still have yet to play) or a brand new chapter with the same kind of amazing Japanese humor and Zelda-like (not this again) dungeon platformer gameplay. It feels like it's been ages since I've seen the pipe-wielding Goemon, noted hypnotic dancer Ebisumaru or the giant justice robot Impact.

  • Just so people reading this who don't know how old it is can say: "Hey, they ARE making a Star Fox 64 3D now! This guy must know what he's talking about." Don't be like me, kids. Don't get respect by tricking stupid people.

  • Switching out a mediocre game (Chameleon Twist) with a middling one. Shadows of the Empire, with the right team (Traveller's Tales, perhaps?) fixing its spread-too-thin platforming and space-sim elements, could totally work as an enhanced remake. Even if "Dash Rendar" does sound like the kind of technology that the Mega Drive would advertise in its commercials.