by mento
Hey there, retro gaming pals. One of my current favorite YouTube series is Ranking the NES! by Jeff Gerstmann, of "still a threat" fame, which focuses on playing every single North American release on the original Nintendo Entertainment System (or the NES if you're a fan of the whole brevity thing) for a sufficient length of time to judge its relative merits to the others on the platform. Ranking of NES! recently passed the approximate halfway point of all games released on that system in the US and Canada (counting unlicensed games, which Jeff's also covering), so I'm guessing the guy's pondering what the next console will be if he decides to keep going in this vein. Now, I'm not going to say I could (or should) have any influence over this decision and I'm not about to get started on one of these myself—excepting extant half-cases 64 in 64, Anyway, Here's WonderSwan and my new Mastering the Master System, all of which won't be covering their respective consoles' full libraries—but it did inspire me to try out a thought experiment as to what would be the next "ideal" candidate for a video series like this based on the following criteria:
While I make every effort to explain my reasoning for this ordering, this list—like any ranked list—is purely subjective for the most part and also factors in any enthusiasm I might personally have for either watching a ranking video series project based on that system or creating it myself.
(Where applicable also, I'll highlight any case where I, other bloggers on this site, or any video essayists (that I'm aware of) may be attempting an in-progress "ranking of" for that console.)
Showing 1-10 of 28 items
Well, I know there's this one schmuck who's managed to get 1/4 the way through ranking every N64 game, so how hard could it be? The N64 is a great platform to do this with because there's so many highs and lows on that thing, from the brass rings that are Ocarina of Time or Super Mario 64 to the trash rings of Superman, and thus it gets that much easier to put everything in its proper place. Alas, for as much as said schmuck was enjoying the project, I have to admit that I was a little out of my element owing to the vast quantity of sports titles on there (including wrestling, sports games constitute around a fifth of the entire library). I know Gerstmann has a system where he'll have one "headline" game for an episode and then throw in much of the middling filler to pad out the rest of that time, which is a smart way to give those big games the air they need while also avoiding a duff episode by having it be all terrible licensed stuff because that was all that's left, and the N64 is perfectly suited for that manner of coverage (as is the fact that there's only around 300 North American releases). The only real issue with this one is... this is my territory. I was here first. Go away. Example: 64 in 64
As much as I'd like to see Gerstmann ranking the Mega Drive I think ranking the Mega-CD instead would be far more fun to watch. The issue here is trying to put everything in distinct tiers that isn't just "meh" since so little actually stands out on that platform. Usually the best you could hope for is a JRPG with anime cutscenes (precious few of which ever got translated, and if they did it was by Working Designs who would also take it upon themselves to screw with the game's parameters to make it way harder for no reason) or a moderately decent PC sim or adventure game port that didn't spend too long loading between areas and wasn't too compromised by switching out mouse and keyboard for a Mega Drive controller. Otherwise it's FMV trash all the way down, which at least has its own distinct appeal when you're watching a famed sourpuss like Jeff scrutinizing their quality and historical value. Much smaller library too at around 150, so it might work as a good palate cleanser. Heck, I'd be down for watching Vinny and the Nextlander boys take on a project like this too given V-Bomb's affinity for FMV.
I suspect the Mega Drive might be the frontrunner for Jeff's replacement series, since "canonically" he moved from NES to Mega Drive back in the day and has a similar level of nostalgic fondness for it: one of the themes of his program is that his personal feelings are constantly butting heads with the reality of how well these games have actually aged, and when reviewed in as close to an objective standpoint as he can muster for the sake of the science it leads to heartbreak more often than not. That extra level of investment and the dissonance it sometimes generates is what's made many of his ranking deliberations appealing. As far as anyone else covering the Mega Drive in a ranking sense is concerned, there's certainly plenty of material (again, around 700-800 games) with a small mix of highs and lows and a huge amount of mids. Shoot 'em ups dominated the first half of its lifespan and Sonic-aping mascot platformers (and EA Sports) the second, so it almost feels like a system that straddled two worlds as it switched from catering to a primarily Japanese userbase to a primarily American/European one. Anyone interested in Sega's commercial peak, especially if they're newer fans who joined in around the 3D Sonics or even the Like a Dragon franchise, could be intrigued by a series like this. (That said, I've just about had my fill of covering this platform with Mega Archive.)
The GBA was a popular platform, taking off after the Game Boy had slowly become obsolete if only in the technological sense; people still needed something to play games on at the bus stop, after all. With its Nintendo Seal of Quality and a whole host of far more attractive games over its predecessor, the GBA was content for a while with SNES ports before eventually cracking its knuckles and stretching its muscles with more hardware-challenging fare like Golden Sun and Castlevania: Aria of Sorrow, along with many other flashy originals. That catalog of games is nothing to sneeze at either, with the North American release library reaching about 800 in total. I know Jan would be into doing something like this given his frequently voiced appreciation for the handheld though I'm guessing he'd be less enthused about the 300+ hours of video editing and processing that would be involved. Incidentally, it's turning 25 next year (March for Japan, June for NA) so that'd be the time to launch a feature like this, I'd reckon.
Ensuring we had a full wiki page for each of the 94 western-released TurboGrafx-16 games available in the SD-shaped "HuCard" format—that number eventually increasing to 101 due to some surprise Wii Virtual Console localizations—was one of my earliest wiki-related projects on here. It's an attainable goal for both a wiki project and a ranking project alike and while there are very few stand-out "all-timers" I would also argue the baseline quality is decently high owing perhaps to a very stringent selection process for localizations. You still have plenty of Keith Courages and J.J. and Jeffs to contend with, sure, but as a system library it's relatively free of shovelware. Relatively. Example: HuCARTography (electricviking)
In theory, the SNES is a pretty obvious choice for a project like this because the number of bangers goes way off the charts in comparison to most systems before or after. It's a project that will keep you busy for almost as long as Ranking all the NES games (a little over 700 releases) and would be the natural successor, being the next Nintendo console in the chain. However, there's two chief issues with its library: most of its nonpareils are longer RPGs that might not benefit this ranking system given their usually sedate opening hours aren't much of an indication of what the game will be like with a full party and more tactical options in battle. The other issue is that there's a vast amount of junk on the SNES, owing to the fact that it was the market leader in Japan and home to most of its shovelware as a result. Though in that issue's case it's one the console shares with its rival the Mega Drive (a similar licensed game dumping ground but for the west) as well as its NES predecessor. A strong choice that, just between you and me, might be good for the ol' SEO as well but will probably also be a feature with a lot of tedium and unpleasantness to power through. Well, as long as the suffering is entertaining to watch it's not a problem. Example: The SNES Classic Mk. II (scores, but no ranking)
The Game Gear was an impractical system between its battery life and lack of support (as an 8-bit platform, it ran out of steam quick compared to what Sega was doing with the Mega Drive) but I think it'd get a fairer shake these days. One advantage it has over its sibling the Master System is that more of its games reached American soil, if we're sticking with the first clause up there. And, much like the GB family, you'd get that juxtaposition of poorly converted TV console games mixed in with the bespoke originals that better utilized its portable format. The GG is also a blind spot for me personally, barring the many occasions where its and the Master System's release library overlapped, so I'd definitely be curious to check a feature like this out. At 237 games it'd be accessibly svelte too.
Well, ranking SMS games—or specifically, those with RetroAchievements—is what I decided would be a fun time this year but in comparison to some of these other consoles, I'm less sure. What it does benefit from is having a similar vintage to the NES as well as far fewer games overall, making it a more approachable subject, and while the game quality isn't often exceptional it's a system with some standouts and a bunch of games most outside the Sega bubble would be unfamiliar with, either due to the system's age or its relative unpopularity. I would say the one issue is that it saw greater support in Europe and Brazil over North America including some unique Sonic games, so this might be a case where you let the Euros in: it's a library of just a little over 100 for North America, but about 250 once you add PAL territories. Example: Mastering the Master System
The Saturn was a moderate success in Japan but far less so overseas, owing to consumer fatigue following the 32X (well, actually, pretty much simultaneously with the 32X; that's how badly they botched these launches) and Sega CD's poor numbers and lack of support. As such, the North American Saturn only saw around 250 releases (adding the JP exclusives would get you to a respectable 1,000+ though) which is probably the ideal size for a project like this. Like, for as much fun as it is to go full tilt at a 800-item library you'll probably hit that point where you're unsure if the last game you played is better or worse than something on the list because it's been at least a year since you played and added it. Example: All Saturn Games In Order (borgmaster)
This would resemble the PS2 project albeit a whole lot shorter, given the Dreamcast was only around for a handful of years. I believe it's sitting at the same number of NA releases as the Saturn: around 250. The Dreamcast felt like it had plenty to offer the world yet the world wasn't interested in hearing it, but I've always had a fondness for the thinking box if perhaps less fondness for its chunky controller. Also very few RPGs outside of the big three of PSO, Grandia 2, and Skies of Arcadia (they did localize a Record of Lodoss War game for it though, weirdly) which didn't suit my tastes but would be good for a feature like this. The Dreamcast is a perennial underdog with plenty of fans going to bat for it, myself included, and with a smaller library you'd get that full ranking done in no time. Probably have to burn through a few VMUs to cover everything though.
