There are some sub-titles where I just think, Yahtzee style, "Oh wow. They just pulled this out of the bucket of fun words to apply to sequel titles instead of boring old numbers, didn't they? This does not bode well for any creativity, or lack thereof as the case may be, that I'm likely to expect from the rest of the game." Snobbish cynic, that's me.
"And the Lord said, 'Let a mighty curse render asunder those would apply the suffix 'revelations' to their electronic interactive products, for lo are they already pretty darn close to incurring my wrath for all that virtual bloodletting and hot coffee mods, which are displeasing to mine eyes according to people who claim to hear me in their dreams. So too must suffer those who create towers for their protection, for faith alone should be their true defense.'" - Revelations, 13:4-7.
Yeah, I get it's a cute way to say you're rebooting your franchise like how you would reload a gun if the bullets were just slightly shinier graphics and gratuitously shoe-horned in QTEs. It's still very dumb.
Yup. This sub-title certainly doesn't suggest that you're bringing this franchise lurching back from the dead, decayed beyond all recognition and terrifying to behold. Great job.
I don't think I've ever seen an Origins game that wasn't from already an established series that doesn't explain the origins of anything. Except perhaps Dragon Age: Origins, but you know we'll get a prequel at some point to render that name completely null and void. And stupid.
So a Chronicle is a historical record of something or other. This suggests that any game with "Chronicles" in the title are depicting actual historical events from our shared past, like how there were giant robotic knights in the middle ages and magical blue ladies in World War 2. Thanks video game revisionism.
Duke Nukem's really made this one permanently unusable for future games, due to risk of association. Sort of like how no-one's calling their babies Adolf any more.
No shit?
No Revolutions. Unless the game's being made by all the janitors and administrative staff after they rise up and violently overthrow and execute all those overpaid game designers and programmers. Revolution X technically isn't a game that does this, yet I still find it highly objectionable.
If I don't count Revolutions, I'm not counting what is traditionally a euphemism for a revolution that didn't go so well. Also, there's a Linkin Park game. Digest that.
I'm just going to keep finding games attached to terrible musical acts to highlight my points, here. Except.. Revenge is something movies use a lot too. If I'm going to allow one "something hurt you so you hurt it back" sub-title, it can be "Revenge".
Which means you're out, Vengeance. Take a hike.
You too, Retribution. I don't want to see any "Retaliations" or "Reprisals" from game franchises in the future either. Pre-emptive moratoria all round.
If I go into a Gamestop and see one more video game with the sub-title "Armageddon", I'm a-gettin' out of there. So okay, I've now become worse than these sub-titles. Finally!
