The Clinton One-Liners from "Gaming in the Clinton Years"

A suggestion from our interplanetary imperator Video_Game_King, this is a list of all the lascivious one-liners inspired by the appallingly bad video game coverage show "Gaming in the Clinton Years" (found on youtube, natch) as made by snarky Southern goon Diabetus in the Retsupurae coverage of said series (also found on youtube). I rounded out the rest of the list, just in case you were wondering why they suddenly got less funny.

I have no idea why I'm doing this. I suspect VGK's finally recovered the manual to his hypnotism device.

List items

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  1. Twisted Metal 2

  "My favorite toad is Slippy Toad, if you know what I mean."*

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  2. Tomb Raider II

  "I love conical boobies!"*

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  3. Super Metroid

  "I beat Super Metroid in under an hour and it was worth it."*

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  4. GoldenEye 007

  "I've been with every Bond honey."*

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  5. Formula 1 Championship Edition

  "Are you ready to downshift on me, baby?"*

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  6. Donkey Kong Country

  "I'll show you why they call me 'Big Dong Donkey Kong'."*

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  7. Contender

  "Are you ready to contend with what's in my pants?"*

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  8. PlayStation

  "Look in my pants and I'll show you why they call it the PlayStation."*

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  9. Buster Bros. Collection

  "After I play Buster Brothers, I'm gonna bust a nut."*

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  10. Final Fantasy VII

  "I am THE Final Fantasy... 7."*

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  11. Xenogears

  "I'll show you something that's Weltall."*

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  12. Castlevania: Symphony of the Night

  "I wanna suck the blood out of your voluptuous chest melons."*

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  13. Final Fantasy VI

  "I've got an octopus you can tease."

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  14. Jurassic Park

  "Hey clever girl, wanna hold onto my butt?"

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  15. Road Runner's Death Valley Rally

  "I've got an Acme Rocket in my pocket."

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  16. Shadowrun

  "Hacking got me all the free porn I could ever want."

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  17. Bugs Bunny Rabbit Rampage

  "How about you let my rabbit go on a rampage? In your pants?"

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  18. Super Mario World 2: Yoshi's Island

  "Wanna make an annoying baby with me?"

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  19. The Simpsons: Bart's Nightmare

  "I'll show you something that'll give you nightmares."

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  20. The Lion King

  "That's right, I put the secret 'Sex' message in the Lion King."

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  21. Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars

  "Wanna take on my Booster's Tower?"

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  22. Earthworm Jim 2

  "My worm doesn't need a power suit, if you know what I mean"

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  23. Pinocchio

  "Let's just say lies make mine longer too."

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  24. The Lost Vikings

  "My helmet's also horny."