In 1994, my grandfather was diagnosed with terminal cancer. The sickness spread quickly, leaving him in varying states of consciousness and presence of mind. At the time, I didn't understand what cancer was, all I knew was that my grandfather was sick, and my grandmother had started playing a Super Nintendo game called Final Fantasy II. I understand now that her journey to the Kingdom of Baron was an escape from reality, but it was a quest we undertook together, and one that will forever seal that game into my memory.

Like most five year olds, my imagination was explosive, and I was fully engrossed with the game and characters. If Cecil, the game’s protagonist, could save his dying love Rose with a Sand Pearl, then maybe there was some magic in the world which could spare my grandfather. Each weekend, I would return to their house, and we would continue the quest. Each weekend, my grandfather would be less responsive.

We had overcome many obstacles along the way, seeing Cecil’s transformation into a paladin, breaking Kain the Dragoon free of his mind control, and eventually summoning the Lunar Whale, the ultimate airship capable of space travel. It seemed like we were going to vanquish the evil lord Golbez, to restore balance to the incredible fantasy world. But in the real world, my grandfather passed away, and there was no magic crystals or spells to cast which could bring him back. And in the turbulence which inevitably ensues when a loved one dies, our quest to save the world of Final Fantasy II came to an end.

Years later, I found the game cartridge in a box. My grandmother had since remarried, and no longer needed the escape. Our family had become distant after my grandfather passed, and the journey of Cecil was mine to complete alone. Loading up the game, I couldn’t bring myself to continue from where we had started so many years ago. I began anew, and completed the journey by myself, leaving the old save untouched; the game frozen in time along with my memories of childhood.

I'm sure that someday the battery on the cartridge will die and Cecil and his friends’ journey will be over forever, but the quest, and my grandfather’s memory will live on in my heart forever.

Ten or more years ago, during a fleeting period ripe with free-time, I was able to easily balance my time into playing video games, watching anime and cartoons, tabletop gaming, getting a feel for my career, and hanging out with my then-girlfriend. As life changed, and my now-wife and I took on more and more responsibilities, I found myself struggling to keep up with old hobbies. So it was, with a last bittersweet glance, I bid farewell to anime and hobby gaming. I went through my life relatively without regret, but the occasional urge would rise up within me, a fire I would smother for the sake of my sanity.

Then the Fire Emblem series filled the aching gap in my heart, scratching the itches of the phantom limb of my free time. My first exposure to Fire Emblem was with FE: Awakening, a love affair that ended abruptly when it was stolen out of my car. At the time, I had convinced myself it was for the greater good; we weren't meant to be.

Testing fateagain, I purchased Fire Emblem Fates: Conquest, and it has gone the distance to capture my heart in such a way that my every thought is enveloped in it. The mechanics are similar to most turn-based tactical RPGs, but the kooky anime plot and lovable characters overlaid onto that makes my heart throb with nostalgia.

I've found the game challenging, but not frustrating or unfair, and the way it breaks down into small chapters makes it a perfect time commitment. Honestly, the only negative thought I have to say about the game is that I wish I could spend more time with my companions and less time on the battlefield. The interactions with the players family and battlefield comrades is where the game really shines. As their relationships progress, every move and interaction becomes more meaningful and sets each play-through apart.

I'll be sad to say goodbye when I finish the game, as I'll know that the nostalgic longing will return. This time, however, it will be for my overly-attached anime sister, Camilla, my always-hungry wife, Effie, and all of my Nohrian friends. But I will be ever-awaiting the day when the next Fire Emblem is released and I can return to that stored-away, unforgotten joy.