The League of Extraordinary Moustache

The burliness is exuberant! No combos allowed, beardos!

List items

  • The phrase, "to age like fine wine," is thrown around quite often, but with this vintage stache it has never rang more true. It is like the 1787 Chateau d'Yquem laying amongst a six pack of Bud Light. Its quality is unmatched.

  • Were Haggar's moustache a pasta, it would be a testosteroni. If it were a movie, it would star Tyler Durden in a Die Hard sequel set on The Rock. His moustache alone has more experience than a lesser mans entire body. It is the One True Moustache. Amen.

  • An appropriately legendary moustache for a legendary man, Mario's facial hair is an icon all its own. Though originally only five pixels in length, his stache has grown into a curly beast of lady tickling delight.

  • It was not impossible for one man to grow such a classy moustache, it was impossible for it to grow on any other.

  • I always said that the only way you could possibly make Solid Snake any more of a bad ass is if you made him more like Tom Skerritt.

  • Were it not for Karnov's Stalin-esque stache of pure manitude, he'd be just another fire-breathing circus freak from Russia.

    (PROTIP: 95% of NES games star fire-breathing circus freaks from Russia.)

  • For real? I want a moustache just like this. I want to drink just like him too. With a boxing glove. Then I'd go buy a six pack of wife beaters from Wal-Mart and just walk around all day looking tough as balls.

  • When you're busy making flimsy robots in order to best a child robot in his underoos, you don't have time for personal hygiene. Dr. Wily, however, makes time. And I salute him for that.

  • When it comes crashing down and it hurts inside, you know that you can look to Hulk Hogan's upper lip for protection.

  • Like Samson, Heihachi's strength is deeply rooted in the furry trenches of his nose accent. Truly, this is a power moustache.

  • "Eee-Yay!"

10 Comments

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arnavdesai

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Edited By arnavdesai

I would like to add Gordon Freeman to this list.

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yates

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Edited By yates

Freeman rocks a goatee. This list seems to be straight tache-love.

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mrjared

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Edited By mrjared
@arnavdesai: Did you not see the disclaimer? No combos allowed! ;)
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Toug

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Edited By Toug

Dr. Wily over Dr. Eggman? For shame. Robotnik has the far greater 'stache.

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Oni

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Edited By Oni

I do not agree with #1, but a fine list otherwise!

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psykhophear

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Edited By psykhophear

Interesting list. Two thumbs up from me!

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BackpackKat

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Edited By BackpackKat

Truly this is the Age of Extraordinary Mustaches!!!!

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Video_Game_King

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Edited By Video_Game_King

I think you forgot the sexiest mustache in all the land:
 

Bushwald Sexyface.
Bushwald Sexyface.
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aztecomar

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Edited By aztecomar

Testosteroni - the greatest pasta known to man. Well done, good sir - your comedy stylings are impeccable.

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scapegoatsqueal

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Edited By scapegoatsqueal

The E.G.G.M.A.N. doesn't even make the list? THEN THIS ISN'T A LIST.