Trophy-shmophies.
By Patchinko 1 Comments
All trophies deserve to be as phallic as this one.
Do you know why you get trophies when you're a kid? Because your parents want you to think this physical activity they forced you to do is both something you're good at and something you enjoy. But you don't enjoy it, and you're not even particularly good at it. Videogame trophies are the same crap. The companies want you to play their games, so they give you little carrots on the ends of meaningless sticks that you can "show off" to your online cohorts. Hey, if you weren't so busy rubbing one out to your "gamerscore", maybe you'd actually have a girlfriend to rub one out for you.
But maybe I'm being too judgmental (and certainly too crass). The whole trophy/achievment/whatever thing really isn't a bad idea. I admit, I get a kick out of "achieving" in a game I enjoy, and I don't mind if other people know it. But I don't feel compelled to rub it in their faces. "OH LOOK, I GOT THE BIG BOSS EMBLEM IN MGS4!" Yeah, you and a million other people. Nobody cares. These achievments aren't impressing anyone but yourself.
But there it is. Ultimately, they're there to boost your self esteem, and getting one makes you feel like you accomplished something (even though it was something meaningless in a time-wasting videogame).
So will I go back and replay my old games just to get trophies? No. I'll replay MGS4 because I love it, not because I want to prove something to everyone. So there.
Take your phallic trophies and shove them.