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Praxis

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Serious Sadists I Secretly Support

For reasons unknown, I am at times receptive to video game personalities that are somewhat less than savory. Perhaps it is because I find individuals with deep-seated character flaws, even villainous ones, to be ultimately more believable and compelling than those who exhibit exaggerated heroic qualities. Sure, let's go with that. What follows is a list of characters who are all right by me, despite being underhanded, malignant, or otherwise unpleasant.

List items

  • An elaborate conspiracy to plunge the United States into chaos notwithstanding, it's hard not to like a man who rocks Italian suits, a thick mustache, and has a thing for strapping heavy weaponry to Corvettes.

  • As far as I'm concerned, Ash is exactly what KoF needed: someone to put all the preening pretty boys of the series on notice, all the while being prettier than they are. He's also a complete dick about it, which is priceless.

  • As a character, this guy's pretty nondescript, but with his peacock motif he's on the cutting edge of sinister fashion. Nothing says "Guess what? I'm evil!" quite like killing one of the world's most beautiful creatures just to drape it around your neck.

  • He went to all the trouble of saving the world from a race of evil, flesh-eating abominations only to be resurrected after death to destroy his life's work. Some guys just don't have any luck.

  • On the short list of scumbag things to do, bringing a bo staff to a fist fighting tournament is definitely up there. Then again, when people are shooting fire from their hands, all bets are off, right?

  • The Deceiver knows what he wants: power. So long as he achieves his goal, he's not averse to a little skulduggery. Or a lot. Alienation and exile are just the wages of his insatiable lust.

  • Some guys are incredibly gifted at being supercilious. Domino Hurley is the Picasso of patronization, the Chopin of condescension, and a man whose offer of assistance is the worst insult of all.

  • Some enemies are so much more appealing than the hero that they simply scream out for their own game. Such was the case with Firebrand. Sorry Arthur, but I'll take flying and breathing fire over double jumping and chucking a lance any day of the week.

  • Poor Frank. A mutant who hates mutants. One day he'll wake up and realize why he's three meters tall, and he's going to need a strong drink.

  • Someone needs to put that pansy Link in his place, and I don't see anyone else stepping up to the task.

  • What's great about Gen-An is not that he's an evil green monster wearing nothing but rags and a gnarly claw, but that at the end of the day he goes home to his loving wife and evil green children. If that thought doesn't make you smile, you are a cold, heartless being.

  • Apparently the punishment for megalomania in the Forgotten Realms universe is to simply strip away the offender's racial identity and emotional capacity. Cruel and unusual indeed.

  • Upon being asked if he would sell out his entire planet just to personally profit from it, Kano would probably respond by saying "Hell, yes!" One has to admire a man who knows his priorities.

  • Either a stern protector or a vengeful prisoner, the Lady roams Sigil flaying or mazing its inhabitants. It might seem harsh, but what else would you expect when your city's most well-known denizen is a floating deity shrouded in blades?

  • Truly the Energizer Bunny of pirates. Why doesn't Elaine Marley just throw him a bone already? Would it kill her to give this guy a date? Okay, it probably would, but at least then he would stop terrorizing the Caribbean.

  • Rather than just telling him the fatal flaw in his plan, I'd like to see an ending where he conquers the world only to realize he's created a race of sterile mutants who will die out in a generation. D'oh!

  • No character embodies the sheer buckwildness (is that a word?) that is the MK series quite like Mileena. Kitana might look better without a mask, but we all know which twin really knows how to party.

  • My favorite design to come out of the Earthworm Jim series, he seems like a character ripe for his own game. He'd be perfect for the lead in a twisted Metroidvania action-adventure, gathering implements for his own dastardly purposes.

  • You can see why she'd be bitter. The entire lower half of her body is a giant pusillanimous maggot, while her twin sister happens to be smokin' hot. Sometimes when life hands you lemons, you gotta nuke those lemons back to the Stone Age.

  • Granted, if I was stuck in the same universe as Cloud & Company, I'd want to destroy the Lifestream too. Afterwards, however, faced with the possibility of an eternity spent brooding like the emo fantasy that I am, I'd impale myself with my own comically oversized sword. Fín.

  • Seriously, who would you rather see win: Liu Kang, or this guy? That's what I thought.

  • She may not be a goddess, but she could be forgiven for thinking so. She set out to create a superior form of life, and did it so well that her offspring nearly killed her.

  • In hindsight, had any of us known that FF X-2 was coming, we'd have stood aside and let him wreck the place.

  • Anyone who is willing to cut out his heart and mutilate his face earns points for dedication. Plus he can turn into a murder of crows any time he likes. Now that's just style.