It's crazy to think, but this one event has been one of the biggest influences of change in my life,

I've quit my job to go study next year, I've done a 3 week self discovery adventure course to find out how i deal with challenges and work on self improvement, i've lost 10kg's, I'm so much better in social interactions, and even before Ryan's death I wasn't a social outcast or anything, I had a great group of friends, and I could talk to anybody with no problem, but now, i don't know, something about knowing how short life can be and something to do with how that guy lived and just had an appreciation for the stupid has allowed me to just be comfortable as myself no judgements, no shame,

for fuck sake i'm going to dress up as Kylie Minogue at this weeks Halloween party my friends are throwing.

I wore these fucking things for my birthday that my chick mates gave me for a birthday gift.,.

I dunno, just felt the need to reply to the ether, to ask if I'm not alone on this?

anyway,

Cheers man,

I've had time to deal with this,

The Bombcast and indeed Ryan has been, a real force of good in my life, I've relied,,, heavily, on them, throughout the last few years, and increasingly over the last 2.

Headphones on at work, going about my daily routine, paying debt, work hasn't been fulfilling in any way for some time, and the bombcast is how I keep sane in the mundane, it's how I cope with how god-awful my job is for my brain, I switch off, go on autopilot and am regaled by these amazing people, who allow us, no, who invite us, into their lives, who treat their fanbase as something other than just fucking clicks on a webpage,

When I found out, I was just stunned, I asked for time off work but had to come in to cover until they could get someone to cover my shift, I just couldn't deal, I snapped at people, telling them I just lost a good friend, i needed to get out, so I left, headed to the liquor store, bought a litre bottle of Jack grabbed my Duvel goblet and succumbed myself to the maudlin,

I drank to the bottom of that bottle..

.

If you haven't read this blog post from Tidel, I urge you to do so because it's so on point to how this whole situation is from the users side,

http://www.giantbomb.com/forums/general-discussion-30/it-s-tuesday-1444364/

"I am sad and angry and grateful. These are my feelsballs; watch me juggle."

While I was in my drunken stupor, I looked up Ryan's "this is my jam" page, https://www.thisismyjam.com/taswell

taswell’s last jam was:

Take It As It Comes

byVivian Girls

That fucking slayed me, and through it I found it to be an apt last message from him, take it as it comes. Fuck man,

Listening to the latest bombcast has been the last piece of catharsis that I needed, I'm ready to continue, I'm in the headspace that I can go to work, old Bombcast's on repeat and deal with this, I mean,

I've had time to deal with this.. Right?

I'm sitting here at 6:30 am, Tuesday morning, in front of my computer screen,

I'd normally be out the door by 6.. 6:10 at the latest, one check of chrome to see what's happened as I was in slumber, The tabs that auto open are first, Giant Bomb, second, Facebook, and third hotmail,

Giant Bomb didn't load this morning,

I never met the man, not in person, but in spirit, in spirit, most definitely,

This man has given me so much joy, his laughter buoyed me up when I needed it, and I was oh so looking forward to finally meeting him at PAX next week, Now, I'll be saluting to his loss.

To all the WM team, to his widow, Anna, I am so, so sorry for your loss.

Hey Giant bomb,

The objective was, What's the best costume I could make with an old 80's style 2 size too big suit, 50 bucks and a couple dress shirts I no longer wear, pvc glue tissue paper and some face paint.

(Oh and an aerosol can and lighter)

this was the result

blatant glorification.. whatchu think?

It's been deemed by our government that each citizen needs to help the cause of our #1 growing industry,

Tourism

So if we don't convince at least 1 person a year to come to New Zealand we will be ostracised and exiled to Invercargill.... (you don't want to be sent to Invercargill...) (...It's a shithole) (Don't try and defend Invercargill, they bribed you with zero fee tuition)

So without further adieu

I wish I had used my DSLR, because I didn't I may loose my pinkie toe as punishment for not showing New Zealand in High Def megapixel resolutions

But look it's not that bad for camera phone.,

So please come to New Zealand, save me from Invercargill, please....for the love of god and all that is holy, anything but Invercargill

Hey,

I haven't created a topic in a while, but the time has come,

My "good Friends" have created a website, all it contains is one of my kinda shitty early pictures and a URL that is (mynameheartsthecock) and for your viewing pleasure

Reaction video my mate posted

So to you, Giant Bomb, I humbly say.

LEND ME YOUR IDEAS!

I'm shithouse at this kind of stuff,

You!

The masters of creativity!

Look at you!

What with the Glorious Photoshop thread!

Countless meme threads!

Pixel art threads!

RELATIONSHIP ADVICE THREADS!

PM'S THAT EXIST FAR FAR LONGER THAN THEY HAVE ANY RIGHT TO EXIST!

I NEED YOUR HELP TO GET BACK AT MY MATES!

I'm gonna play the shit outta you

I'll have to find some way to rope my mates into this one, probably through cash games I'm guessing........

Fuck, crazy news,

I think it's for the best though, I have the deepest respect of these guys and I feel like I know and trust their judgement, so,

Congrats, this is awesome

So, hi, how are ya,

I spent a week in beautiful Coromandel New Zealand.

Had a lot of fun,

oh you know the sunburn? I have it, the sunburn is mine, I have all the sunburn.....

Anyway Pictures say a thousand words or something, if it were true I would've passed my English essay....

This was the view from the hotel

5 star-ing it bitches!

Anyway times 2, Hope you enjoyed a glimpse of my Beautiful country

How fucking good was this?