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Best Dracula 2

It is that time of year again. The leaves are changing colors, it is getting cold on an ever heating earth and I am procrastinating on another project so, let's get through this Dracula Review!

This is a pretty standard review of Draculas so, we will be using the Standard Dracula Ranking Method (SDRM), as outlined below:

  • Do they look like a Dracula? (AKA Style) - Standard stuff really. They should look like Dracula. How you think Dracula looks in your head is the most correct Dracula look there is. Not this Nosferatu nonsense. You can follow the 3B scale for measurement: Brooding; Black Clothes; Bombshell.
  • Do they seduce like a Dracula? (AKA Grace & Charm) - Dracula gets "it". Sex. My ideal Dracula has a sexual orientation of "Yes, I'll have that please." All Draculas are usually pretty graceful and can charm the paint off a wall if interested in seeing that wall in the nude, which they usual want to see everything in the nude and that's why the castles are at best naked and, at worst, upside-down.
  • Do they only enter homes on invitation? (AKA Ability to enter homes only on invitation) - This is the big one right here. A good Drac gets an invite in to the house before they can enter. They literally can't be there otherwise or they wouldn't be a Dracula.

As always, feel free to list some good Draculas in the comments or let me know if there are some you want to see in the next review! You can see my last ranking at the link below.

List items

  • Raziel is an angsty teen Dracula formed out of a ghost? I don't remember everything about this Drac as there is a lot going on.

    Style: On our traditional 3B scale, Raziel is a solid 3B. He's got each and every one. I'm counting green as black in this scenario due to the scarf and hair. Like Kain, I also am not a big fan of the wings.

    Grace & Charm: Razi here has about as much grace and charm as 90s grunge. He does eventually complete the late 90s early 2000s Donnie Darko journey so, there is that?

    Ability to enter homes only on invitation: Raziel consistently enters places and takes things or souls. I don't know what counts as a Dracula if you were human before? Time travel makes this hard.

    Rating: A handsome but bad Dracula

  • The Augers of night trap can be accidentally considered Draculas when you hear them described so, let's put this baby back in the coffin where it belongs so they can then travel across running water.

    Style: Augers fall in to a pretty low 1B on the 3B scale. They do wear a lot of dark clothing but look nothing like a good, classic Dracula. They also appear to have a thing for power tools which just doesn't work for my mental image of a Drac.

    Grace & Charm: What Augers lack in the charm department, they somewhat make up for in grace. I will say, they are tricky little bastards, or the game Night Trap is bad and hard to control. I leave it in your hands to determine which part of that statement is true.

    Ability to enter homes only on invitation: Technically, and hear me out here, Augers are invited in to the home by the actual owners so, Augers pass the ATEHOOI test.

    Rating: Not actually the worst Draculas you could have.

  • Blade is one of the TOP Draculas in the game. However, we are pretty specific with our SDRM system so, let's stack the numbers.

    Style: Blade gets a coveted 4Bs on the 3B scale as he is two times the bombshell of a Dracula. He's a great looking modern Dracula with enough trench coat to parachute off a building in.

    Grace & Charm: I'm just gonna give Blade full marks here for no reason other than I am pretty tired.

    Ability to enter homes only on invitation: Now, Blade also falls victim to the ability to go anywhere he wants. Dammit Blade.

    Rating: High marks everywhere but, not an actual Dracula due to surviving a drug meant to kill THE Dracula.

  • This is a lich.

    Style: How did this get here?

    Grace & Charm: Again, this is a lich. Who even makes this list?

    Ability to enter homes only on invitation: A li- wait. Skullmageddon actually never really enters a place he isn't already invited to. Huh.

    Rating: A lich that is more a homebody than anyone cares to admit.

  • Vlad Belmont the Vampire actually spoils the entire plot of Lords of Shadow. Konami, you clever idiots. It was right there!

    Style: Vlad actually looks pretty good for a game that isn't about Draculas. Pretty good generic Dracula right here.

    Grace & Charm: Vlad kinda just runs forward BUT, Vlad also gets a bunch of the neighbors. I'd say Vlad qualifies as getting it.

    Ability to enter homes only on invitation: I mean, this Drac is usually outside or at a mall or a graveyard or some nonsense.

    Rating: a rather solid Dracula.

  • I know nothing about BloodNet but BOY does this look like some good Dracula business right here.

    Style: Cyber-Dracula is a not often seen Dracula unless I missed a memo and it totally isn't. We do have a big no-no on what I will assume are culturally appropriated face tattoos on the Drac in question. Is that a bluetooth headset?

    Grace & Charm: I assume this Johnny Mne-Dracula can type over 90 words a minute making them an awesome Dracula. I assume this Dracula spends a lot of time social engineering old people for their medicare details.

    Ability to enter homes only on invitation: Is "breaking ICE" the same as charming a human in to opening the door for you? Oh my god it is.

    Rating: An absolute Perfect Dracula.

  • Alucard didn't make the list last time because I was too hyped up on caffeine so, let's take this Drac for a spin.

    Style: Amazing. a solid 5B on the 3B scale. Alucard has cloaks, swords, shields, angst, and a smile that makes literal books come off the shelves.

    Grace & Charm: Alucard dates women young enough to be his great great great grandaughter. He also has mother issues he never gets over and hates his father and is happy to tell anyone who asks about either of these things. All of this, and yet that back-dash makes up for all the shortcomings. This Dracula has Written A Letter to someone, I guarantee it.

    Ability to enter homes only on invitation: I feel like his dad probably invited him in, even if it was to kill him. Pass.

    Rating: A solid Dracula. Full Marks. Would Dracula Again.