Best of 2004

I worked at a video store in 2004. The most difficult part of the job was deciding what movies to play during your shift. The movies we threw on had to be non-offensive, enjoyable, and also not good. If we popped in a movie that everybody loved, they would just ask to rent it. Keep in mind that this was before streaming services. If a customer saw Ghostbusters playing at the video store, unless they owned it, chances are it has been a while since they've seen it last. They would ask me if we had any more copies. I would say "I guess I can give you the copy from the VCR". And then the rest of my shift would be ruined because I really wanted to hear Peter Venkman say "Let's show this prehistoric bitch how we do things downtown!". This led me to enjoy some weird movies. If I played Fishing With John during my shift, nobody would ask to rent it, and I would have a great shift watching that terrific show. What was even cooler than watching Fishing With John at work was being able to buy video games when my shift was over.

List items

  • Just like I enjoyed Fishing With John for being a weird show, I enoyed Katamari Damacy for being a weird game. Playing the last level was so exhilarating. Watching your ball grow from the size of a crumb to an island is still an amazing experience and quite impressive.

  • Ninja Gaiden is badass. It is very tough. It is very gory. It has so many weapons with unique combinations. Early in the game, you slide down a hill and then run on water. This fucking blew my mind. How cool is that? I believe that shortly after you run on water you fight horses. However, that is irrelevant. I have always wanted to run on water. Now I could.

  • This is the first time I thought "Vin Diesel seems like a cool guy". The guards in this game would say the eff-bomb and that was cool. I loved how the entire game is based around escaping a prison. I loved how great everything looked. I loved sneaking around and feeling like a clever guy. Just like Vin Diesel, this game is pretty gritty and cool.

  • Come on guys. Get real. Snake Eater is great.

  • I am crazy about the first hour of this game. I don't like the rest of the game as much. But that first hour is great. You get a pistol and shoot weirdos in strange, white masks. When they die, they emit a dial tone-like noise and rag doll over. It is fantastic.

  • San Andreas was the first GTA game that I did not play solely for the fact that you could run over pedestrians and shoot cops. I respected this game and it respected me back.

  • This was the first RPG that I played to completion. The Thousand-Year Door had a perfect blend of humor, story, moroseness, and strategy. I can hear you guys asking how it was at all gloomy. Did you not see the noose in the first town?! Jeez!

  • Halo was a game that made me hang out with people I usually would not hang out with. Cory lived down the street and I usually did not go to his house. However, since he had an Xbox and Halo 2, fellow twerps and I would play it with him. Does the term "neighborhood game" exist? The first 2 Halos were definitely neighborhood games. And they were so goddamn fun to play with idiots from my neighborhood. Once, stupid Cory claimed that his admiration from Halo came from the fact that it was so realistic. What a goober.

  • I loved this game when it was released. Remakes of recent games were not part of the norm yet. This game took everything from the original Metal Gear Solid and made it better. The cutscenes were more over the top. The graphics were obviously better. The gameplay was more fun as you could now switch to first-person and shoot Yoshi statues. Some people panned this game at the time for being an unnecessary remake. I wonder if a similar remake released today would also be panned.

  • The art style of this game is what initially drew me in. There were not a lot of games in 2004 with a distinct, hand-drawn finish. On top of having beautiful art, Alien Hominid is also great for being a cute, fun, 2D shooter.