I take an inordinate, staggeringly excessive amount of time on the character creator screen. Intensely Weighing the pros and cons of Nose 3 vs Nose 7, and toying with the forehead depth slider until 3 hours have gone by. I have even been known to re-roll a character after 10 solid hours of gameplay because "his face just isn't right". Yet every game consisting of a character creator worth its salt has yet to make me feel like this exhaustive nitpicking was worth my time.

I'll take Fallout 4 as an example. I commend Bethesda for presenting their character creator in a unique way that fits with their universe and allows me a new wealth of options to twist and contort my sole survivor's facial features a la the Mario 64 intro screen. I can create a handsome leading man or a disfigured human tragedy with bruising and blemishes rivaling those of Rory MacDonald after his Welterwight loss to Robby Lawler. However, Fallout 4 ties all of the NPC interactions to your character's stats and not their appearance. Meaning, you could take your unfortunate mutant, give him 10 Charisma and, Whamo! You're a lady-killing bachelor of the wastes!

Granted, there is humor in watching NPCs carry on normal conversations with your horrific player character as though his appearance isn't noteworthy. Even more so if you're willing to believe it's social norms and not limits of the game's writing preventing them from reacting to you. However, the onus is on the player to create this enjoyment for themselves. The game misses a golden opportunity to craft a more unique experience. The moments when previous Fallouts have offered unique dialog choices depending on your character's low intelligence or high brutish strength are some of the most rewarding and enjoyable out there. The times when scientists took a rude, patronizing tone with my intelligence 1 vault dummy drew me farther in and left me more satisfied with his journey through the game. But these tailored moments were in response to stat values and perk choices, and would be the exact same if my character had two completely different physical appearances.

Herein lies my problem not just with Bethesda RPGs but with many games offering character creation. Beyond just the paint job for the vehicle through which I experience the game, there is no gameplay influence to the choices I spend so much time making. Choosing between Exo, Awoken, or Human in Destiny offers no impact to your Guardian's journey other than "what does your space dude's space dude face look like?". Giving my vault dweller a Rick Ross body and an upside-down face changes nothing about how he engages with other NPCs or how he moves about in combat. The overall gameplay should do more to determine whether or not a character creator is "good" than the number of body parts it lets you customize. Shouldn't a fat character move and animate differently than one with a fitter build? And even if the Elephant Man had all the charisma in the world, wouldn't he have a little more resistance in seducing the bar's enchanting singer than one speech check?

I thought about this after watching Jeff and Dan play around with Black Desert Online, a game that many would consider having a "good" character creator. But all these customization options do nothing for me if the game doesn't acknowledge the crazy circus clown those duders spent 30+ minutes crafting. Given her appearance, NPCs would be pointing out where to get a haircut, or maybe have some of her bones reset. She'd have access to a weird and unique combat style given the unfortunate position of her limbs during her idle animation.

I guess I'm asking game developers out there to throw me a bone. Give this chronic nitpicker a reward for sifting through the 70 cheekbone styles you've provided. Maybe just a bit of ambient dialogue pointing out how "On Fleek" my "Eyebrow 51"s are. Penalize my vault dweller's jumping height in response to the large beer gut and tiny calves I tricked him out with.

Make my choices matter.

Do you duders agree? Disagree? Any games out there actually achieve this level of feedback?

Thanks for reading and have a great week.