I'm not exactly sure how to deal with the news of Ryan Davis's passing, and I know everybody has been posting their own blog entries, I figure I may as well do the same to get my thoughts out, try to make sense of the entire thing.

Ryan Davis had a profound influence on my life. I became a fan of Gamespot when I was in the fifth grade, when I was ten years old and since then persisted to listen to the hotspot/bombcast on a weekly basis for the majority of my entire life. I grew up with these people, and though I never met them personally, they were a constant source of entertainment and joy for me, but now that I have time to reflect on it, more than that. Without Ryan Davis, I would not be the person that I am today. He helped me realize my sarcastic sense of humor, and I viewed him as one of the most naturally funny people I had ever seen. When I got to college I pursued a career in journalism, and it wouldn't even remotely be a stretch to say that Ryan Davis and the rest of the bomb crew put me on this path. Even when I was a freshman last year, and fell off of gaming as a hobby in favor of pursuing girls and drunken debauchery, I still made a habit of listening to the Bombcast every single week. Even later that year when my own mother passed away, I could still escape into the Bombcast room for three hours every week and forget about my problems for a little while, and just get caught up in the banter of my all-time favorite internet personalities. They helped me get through the toughest time of my entire life, and I have to offer endless thanks for that.

So yesterday when I got to my place of employment, I was shocked when I checked up on Giant Bomb and found out that one of my idols had suddenly and unexpectedly passed away. I experienced an emotions I had never felt before, I'm not one to get caught up in the deaths of people that I never had the chance to meet, or celebrities, but this is just different. I would be lying if I said that it didn't effect my life and my emotional state immensely. It wasn't as uncontrollably terrible as what I went through last year, but it was a different, empty, uncomfortable feeling that consumed me, it was a disruption of what had been a constant for about as long as I could remember back, and suddenly my world did not seem okay anymore.

But then the Harmonix stream happened, an extremely tasteful and well done, yet brief reflection on Ryan Davis's time spent in the internet world, and despite confronting the truth of the situation firsthand, it succeeded in comforting me greatly. Ryan Davis is far from a life wasted, he changed my life, and if anything yesterday showed me that I am far from being alone in this. The outpouring of the community is astounding, I've never felt more honored to be a part of this, and even though I'm not the most active member of this community, I think we can all still feel connected for how much we appreciate what Ryan and the rest of the staff have done in building this site, and providing quality content on a weekly basis.

Giant Bomb is not my life, but it is definitely a part of who I am. I can't imagine what the people close to Ryan are going through right now, and my thoughts go out to you, but I think that everybody who knew him, personally or through the internet, realizes that Ryan was nothing but a positive force on the world, who brought joy to countless people, and while I'm sad that he's gone, that's only a testament to what he has accomplished in building such a supportive community around himself. Ryan Davis is a legend, his influence lives on in me and countless others.

Thank you for everything you've done, Ryan. You won't be forgotten.