There was once a kid that had a really wealthy and influential father. When the kid graduated from junior high, his father said he could have anything he wanted: money, girls, a new tv, anything. The kid said "well dad I want a ping pong ball." "you sure son?" "Yeah, dad." "ok" and he gave his son a ping pong ball. When the kid graduated from high the father said he could have anything: cars, girls, money, drugs, anything at all. The son said "I want a big semi truck full of ping pongs." "You sure about that son?" "Yep." "ok" and he gave his sun a semi truck full of ping pong balls. When the son graduated from college, his father said that he could have any business he wanted: he could own a resort or a restaurant or a nice hotel. He could do anything he wanted at all. The son said "dad, I want to own a factory that manufactures ping pong balls." "Really? You don't want to own a nice restaurant downtown?" "No dad just a factory that makes ping pong balls." "Ok, son, whatever you want" and he gave him his own factory that manufactured ping pong balls. A few years later the son was in a terrible car accident and was rushed to the hospital. He was on his deathbed when his father came in. "I love you, son" the father said through tears. "I love you too, dad" replied the son. "Just tell me one thing before you pass, son." "Anything dad." "What was with all the ping pong balls all through your life? Why did you always turn down magnificent riches and pleasures for ping pong balls?" The son looked into his fathers tear soak face. "Well, dad, it's simple...."
I try to forgive first- that is, consciously make the decision with an objective mind to not hold anything against that person- then the emotional forgiveness follows more easily. And by emotional forgiveness I mean not feeling so hurt and angry at that person.