I have been queried by more than a modicum of devotees about the puzzling absence of the Great & Devious UltraMantis Black from the events of the forthcoming CHIKARA season premiere. I feel that I should properly address the issue in order to preemptively quash any nefarious whispering campaign or scandalous scuttlebutt.
In the year 2 Aught 12, I found myself engaged in a variety of combative exercises with a plethora of scoundrels, scamps, and all-around bad eggs within the squared circle. At some point, a select aura of my earthly shell fell victim to traumatic distress. I forged on, unwilling to allow loathsome figures like Delirious, Ophidian, and Ravage to carry-on unchecked. Alas, this physical peccadillo has caught up with me and I have been forced to undergo several aesculapian procedures via the scalpel's blade. With the aid of ethereal curative tonics collected from the natural springs of the Sea of Capricorn, I patiently convalesce.
The Spectral Envoy, however, remains steadfast and strong. More potent and robust than ever before! I will continue to use my cunning and masculine wiles to lead The Envoy to our grandest and more splendid era of all times. This is, indeed, the Re-Awakening! Come and see for yourselves!
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